Early recovery is a bit like snakes and ladders. You can build up a nice little patch of serenity for yourself, and blow the whole thing by just ONE thoughtless act. Its like the snake part where you end up back at the bottom of the board again, and it seems like it takes AGES to get back up to where you were.
Well its like that in the beginning anyway, as people are a lot more unstable in their outlook, and susceptible to outside influences generally.
If you are checking in with a sponsor, and talking about your decisions (big and small) to others, you are in far less danger of doing something foolish.
Mind you, thoughtless acts can wreak havoc at ANY stage of recovery. You'd be surprised at how much harm you can do with just ONE thoughtless remark, for instance. You can destroy an ENTIRE relationship with one poisoned remark. Its amazing how powerful words are.
Reminds me of that boomerang quote:
The game of life is the game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy.
Florence Shinn
Which is really just another way of saying:
You move towards, and become like, that which you think about, whether it is good for you, or bad for you
I've been poisoned by words many times. That's probably why I'm not sure where my marriage is going. It's hard to pull out those nails that have been driven into your heart. The way I feel is that the old marriage is over and it's time for a new and better one to begin. I'm hoping that comes to pass.
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