That's a classic. Taking the blame is the easy way out, as it sidesteps having to face reality and come to terms instead with the grieving process and all those ! unpleasant feelings. Basically its NOT honest, its delusional really.
Its 'standard issue' to adopt this outlook to just about every form of abuse as it enables the sufferer to have a sense of control in a world which they have no control over.
With time, and courage, and the ability to be 'comfortable being uncomfortable', the grieving process can be faced HONESTLY and ELEGANTLY. The required skill is 'patient endurance'.
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