"Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it."

My favorite thing for avoiding arguments and pointless debates is:
"Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it." that's what my favorite old timer used to say. Its not easy to sidestep the bait and walk away when the other person wants to have a row, but it CAN be done.

The best way is if you figure out a pre-prepared 'get out clause' BEFORE they 'kick off'. Because its IMPOSSIBLE to think of a good one in the heat of the moment. Prepare beforehand! Then you won't get caught out the next ! time she throws a wobbly!
The aim is react less than before. Progress not perfection. All we are looking for is evidence of progress. Nothing more really.