My invented and totally unproven thought on this are that Al anons like alkies have the 'heart-sadness' but alcoholics are the 'edgier' breed of the two. There's a roughness round the edges. Its resentment really. But anger and sad are two sides of the same coin. Sad is just that little bit more honest than anger. Just underneath the anger there's a pool of tears. Perhaps the alky is the sad person who went blind because they couldn't face the truth, so they experience their sadness more predominantly as bitterness and anger. Sadness cloaked as anger. One extra layer between their emotional lives and reality.
Alkies are more removed from their grief. There's an additional tension in the psyche from the mental separation that that condition creates. The extra division splits them from the inside so that they cant even see their 'separated self' when they REALLY try.
Recovery is about ending the fragmented and separated disowned emotions. Reclaiming them.
I love the way you put this. I'm finally beginning a proper step 4 and this post explains how I could have been in denial about things for so long. No amount of me trying on my own power would have enabled me to see past my own denial.
ReplyDeleteThanks Anon :)
ReplyDeleteI hope your new efforts at Step 4 get to the heart of the issue much more than the las one did :)
We are all in denial about ? something, as delusion never goes away. Scary! I don't know what I don't know. Oh well. Just have to keep doing the next right thing..
becauses 'keep on the firing line of life with these motives and god will keep you unharmed' as they say.