I have never to this day, been able to understand why some people 'get it' and others don't. It seems to bear no relationship to intelligence or social group or 'keeness'. Some are terribly keen but are barking up the wrong tree and go horribly wrong. Its weird. Its a totally random thing. The very finest things in life are never meant to be understood, and I think this random ? receptivity to the AA message is one of those things. The way recovery unravels in different individuals I find completely fascinating and weird. A life form in itself.
Mind you, I think even when one is 'correctly orientated' that the work that is required to live peacefully, and reasonably happily, can be extremely demanding in some ways. So just being 'ready' doesn't make it any easier as such.
Doesn't mean you get any shortcuts though. No easier softer way I'm afraid. You just get to do what the rest of us have been doing, which is some pretty unflattering truth telling about ourselves and our lives. It doesn't sound like much, but its REALLY worth it. And it means you can be there for the NEXT suffering alcoholic that shows up and doesn't know what the ! hell they are doing. And that's the main thing. Funnily enough.
The newcomer is often the last to know he or she is doing well. Newcomers are notoriously c**p at 'seeing' their own progress in the beginning? EVERYONE can see it except them! Its kind of funny really.
It is hard not to compare how different people work or unwork their program. I have learned to keep my mouth shut when it comes to my SO. She has to find her own way to the steps. You can go to a lot of meetings and not drink but still not be remotely recovered.
ReplyDeleteI believe that. I'm constantly being told that others can see a change in me but I can't see it yet. I'll take their word for it as I still feel very chained to my stinking thinking.
ReplyDeleteIts actually really nice watching new people blossom. the most noticiable effects are often in the first 2-3 weeks. its like watching a flower grow. I STILL need other people to tell me what they see in my behaviour as I cant see it impartaillly myself
ReplyDeletethanks for your comments on my blog! I really am learning a lot from you. I feel very blessed to meet the women I've met in AA and this is like a virtual "meet."
ReplyDeleteSarah