About Me

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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Monday, August 06, 2007

(Relatively) New Blogger on the Block: Go say Hi to Ms Determined at Progress not Perfection

Ah Bless. I see Ms Determined is posting again. She started one before but never really posted very much. She's been around two years or so and is neither 'new' nor 'at risk' as such. Just has a bit of growing up to do.. But don't we ALL lets face it!! Life on life's terms is no easy feat!! I happen to think she is very much on the right track, but happens to have her fair share of demons, (not her fault, just the way the cookie crumbles) which cloud her vision from time to time, but that's just my opinion. What I mean is that those demons are just 'grist for the spiritual mill', as opposed to impediments to a spiritual life as such. But we shall see. If sobriety has taught me anything, it has taught me that I cannot rely on my perceptions. So gawd knows.
Also she hasn't got round to getting to know all you !! cool blogging people out there. Of which there are many. I'm actually very pleasantly surprised at how many cool people there are out there in the blogsphere. It's certainly opened up a new bunch if like minded people that I simply do not see as much of in my day to day AA life. Anyway I'm happy to see she is trying to get back into the posting swing of things.
I'm sure she'll like it once she gets into the swing of it as I am surprised at how much I get from this thing. Its better than I though it would be. Having said that I may become very negligent when my coursework starts again in October. We shall see.

Anyway, If you feel the urge, pop over and say hi. As I'm sure she will be thrilled !!! to bits to find she has had visitors. !!! (Well I always like it when I get comments and I'm sure she is no different.)

Her blog is called Progress not Perfection. as she can expect things to be a 'certain way' quite a LOT. Plus she has a slightly driven streak when it comes to problem solving which can very often get in the way of finding the solution. But I'm sure she will be a laid back hippy in no time! 'Que sera sera' and all that.. Just takes a bit of time that's all. I think I was pretty ? 'driven' ? 'intense' for the first 5 years or so of my recovery. But its always more difficult to get an accurate picture of oneself so who knows. But it FELT intense. I know that. Whatever. But then I was very MAD when I was new, so I had no choice. I could not 'let up' on my spiritual course of action", because I would have felt CRAP. I had to work VERY hard (usually talking to newcomers) to keep the demons at bay. I think I had quite a few of those demons. Still do really. I just have a different way of relating to them. They are 'alright'. But then EVERYTHING's 'alright', so that's not really saying much. What I mean is I have peace around the inevitable? Tugs and pulls at the heartstrings. Its ok. Right well I'm waffling now, so I'd better be off to that gym!
Hope you guys have a GREAT Monday and if you live over here, drink lots of water, as its going to be HOT over here, and you'll get pooped otherwise. See y'all..


Shadow said...

yeah, it's not like those 'demons' go away completely, but it gets easier to tell them to bugger off after a while...

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

Hahaha Ms Shadow!
Yeah I think I can be a good 'flat mate' when a demon shows up unexpectedly for a visit. The more I try to make them leave, the longer they stay. So I am the consummate host! I am very peaceful about them visiting. No matter how dark and shadowy they are. Even if they STINK! I just watch them go about the place. Sit themselves down. Help themselves to stuff in the fridge. Change the channel on the telly. I just say nothing, watch them. TRY to be nice to them and find out what is bothering them. What they want. Often it is just recognition, or attention. Somehow, in the process of looking at them, they become less shadowy. Less 'mad'. After a while they seem quite logical in many ways. A very obvious reaction to a painful episode. It can often seem quite heartbreaking to see their twisted souls, longings, conflicts, and muddy-ness. Such a mess! But, I am able to stay with them with compassion. Not judge them. And really LISTEN to them. Then this ?'stuff' just moves through me, and it is no longer a 'hot potato'. Its vanished. Back into the ether. There are many pretty ugly unlovable parts of the mind, but you can't flinch from them. Any more than it would be ok to flinch from a stinking, belligerent newcomer man. They ALL deserve our help and our attention. We cannot 'dismiss' them because they are ugly or frightening. They ALL belong to us, so it is up to US, (not anybody else) to be a 'good parent' to them. Show them love and compassion really.
But yeah, it takes a bit of practice, and its probably better to try to do after a while in the programme, rather than when you are feeling very ? Unsafe or afraid of drinking. But don't you see? This is why helping newcomers is so cool! It teaches us compassion towards these quite powerful, damaged and unruly parts of ourselves.

Recovery Road London said...

Her colour scheme is giving me a headache!

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

Yeah i know! Bless! You can tell she is new to this blogging lark eh?..
Yeah she needs something a bit easier on the eye...
We can't all be blogging veterans like you Mr Kenny!

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

Sober chick would know the EXACT web colour to suggest as she knows all that stuff like the back of her hand..
I will look up some web colours and see if i can suggest one..

Syd said...

Irish, it's hot here too. Very hot and still. I'm glad to see another blogger out there. Thanks for the introduction. You've always got something thought provoking to provide.

Shannon said...

hey Irish- just poppin by to say hi... HI! I will go support her blog and say hi too thanks for letting us know
have a great evening

johno said...

dertermind1 by name determinded1 my nature, I like the way you introduce people (bloggers) to others

johno said...

I just clicked on your photo by mistake, and i goes to all your flikr webpage, cool tool you have there.

As for 'awl fecker as a term of endearment yeah whatever, i've never been called it before, I'll just add it to the VERY long list "pet/nicknames" names I bin called in the last 40 years by people that kinda like me.

Its a long time ago that I was at school being hunted down and constantly being verbally attacked by "the other kids" not good for self esteem. But those names when I think of them still make my heart sadden.

Nowadays, I seem to be surrounded by people who want the best for me & have no reason to "attack" me with name calling, or derogatory stuff, so any name really is ok really.

these days, most people that ? call me by anything other than my own, which is practically every one I know, even manage to slip in swearing and allsorts and it just goes over my head... I dunno why we do it, (i do it to dude!!) Well I think I know why I do it..

Catch me when am rsentful, and even hearing my own name mentioned will cause my hackles to rise, not cos I dont like my name, just that my "self obsession" has been interupted and am not impressed LOL.

Dont know if that answered your question?

Of theres more...

Any new name that I get called, takes a while to become accepted by my brain, as it has to have time for me to "shrug" of any preconceived ideas & predjudices I usually have about it. immediately I think "am I being called that because I am that ?" I will ALWAYS initially see the name that I am being called it as a negative,(the first thought)

I then have to trust that the person saying it is NOT taking the P*%s out of me, well they maybe abit, but not in the nasty way kids did, people nowadays are just being friendly, a little more intimate than when I first knew then, and sometimes it not about me atall, they say it to everyone NOT JUST ME (the great me)

OR is it cos they are feeling insecure in themselves and that choose a "pet" name to slip in, as it ? looks like they are then being intimate (friendly) with me, because thats what they are wanting to do, kind testing the boundaries, ie no longer wanting to be just people that interact, wanting to become a little more, take it to another level like. Nothing sinister or weird, just seems to happen like that, when people get to KNOW ME, they seem to stop calling me by my name and choose their own. Its ok I suppose.
(I do it to other people too)

Its something about learning intimacy with friends, learning how to be a friend, whether in person, blog, phone, across miles or whatever, not being patronising, deepening a friendship takes work, knowing when to push forward and knowing when to leave it as it is, its a tuffy.

Willingness to call and be called pet names in a loving way, not patronising, thats what I meant, not in a partonising way. It kind of shows when people are being patronising, (see how my words changed?) it changed from frineds back to people (less intimate), patronising isnt friendly.

Getting over the cringe factor of some of them names can take a while as some names hold major predjudices of old.

Like accepting that when she call me "babe" its cos thats just what she calls everyone she likes and feels comfortable with, and I am part of that everyone she feels comfortable with. I often cringe when she calls it me, which is most mornings (what a way to start my working day) but its getting easier. "Babe" to me conjours up stick like bimbo with no brain, and paints her nails and wears very little, and or Pig in the City. Neither are her idea of "Babe" of the two, I prefer the second one, its more me !! What she is just doing is exchanging the word "babe" for "friend" so if I dont accept the word babe, I am not accepting the word friend...well thats how I see it anyway.

Can you call me anything ? well yeh I cant stop you, if something goes completely against everything I am, then will I ask to not be called it and say why, as it upsets me. Thats it really.. Question answered ?

you 'awl fecker, you old 'ucker... I prefer 'awl fecker, sounds friendlier...

Are, you STILL under that bleedin parapet, get your ass out ere and blog something!! Feck

Recovery Road London said...

Hope you're well today.


Anonymous said...

Hello, my Irish friend of Bill. Hope you're in the best of health. Another recovery blogger? God. Thanks for introducing. I'm going to check her up now.

Take care now, my Irish friend of Bill.

Greetings and lotta loves from Malaysia.