Music: Bliss: A Hundred Thousand Angels

Here's a sample of the Bliss: A Hundred Thousand Angels track.
You can hear a sample on iTunes as well.

This is a GREAT track.
You can buy it on iTunes for 79p!
Here's a website where you can buy the album for $1.08. Crikey! That's cheap..

Sexually transmitted CANCER

Yeah the HPV VIRUS responsible for cervical CANCER is INFECTIOUS.
EVEN WHEN YOU USE A CONDOM.
Scary huh?
What Are the Risk Factors for Cervical Cancer? By the American Cancer Society
"Recent studies show that condoms ("rubbers"), while they do provide some protection, do not completely protect against HPV. This is because HPV can be passed from person to person by skin-to-skin contact with ANY HPV-infected area of the body, such as skin of the genital or a*al area not covered by the condom. The absence of visible warts cannot be used to decide whether caution is needed, because HPV can be passed to another person even when there are NO visible warts or other symptoms."

Bleh! I know. Yik! factor 10!
There is a vaccine that you MIGHT be able to get free from your doctor if you ask politely. Otherwise its 500 quid or so to get it done privately.
The good news is that the vaccine works for most of the viruses. Its pretty effective.
So if you are planning of having lots of sexual partners, you should consider vaccination. Cervical cancer tends not to show up in young women. You see it more in age 40's or so. But when it DOES show up, it kills quite a few women. The more partners you have, the greater risk you are at.
Lovely eh? As if the sexual health minefield wasn't bad enough..
Never mind. I suppose we should be cheering from the rooftops that they have discovered such an effective vaccination against cancer. That's a neat trick. Even if I say so myself.
There's a TON of stuff on cervical cancer and mortality rates on the internet if you REALLY want to find out about it.
But if you are a HYPOCHONDRIAC, save yourself the anxiety. Easier just to fork out the 450 quid and be done with it. Then you have no need to worry..

Just thought I would mention, in case you hadn't seen this on the news..
See y'all..

For your reference..
Cervical cancer vaccine for girls aged 12 on Times online.
Vaccination (done privately) for 450 quid, if you feel the urge..

Boundaries: Avoiding even SLIGHTLY crazy people

I find a LOT of my peace of mind comes from simply avoiding even SLIGHTLY crazy people, unless I HAVE to, or am doing some kind of service.
Mind you, I can experience LOADS of vitriol from disturbed alcoholic I try to help. It happens sometimes. They always come to their senses after a while, but in the interim I am exposed to their toxic energy which is VERY unpleasant.

I am much more protective of my wellbeing the longer I am around. There are actually very few people I really want to be around. Unless coming into contact with another person 'lifts' me, I basically would rather be in my own company. I find a lot of people draining simply because they seem conflicted and restless, even if they say very little to me. I think I have become MUCH more sensitive to other people, so it is useful for me to limit my exposure to people who are more disturbed than myself. 'Stick with the winners' means a pretty small circle of people at the moment. But that's ok. The road gets narrower, as they say..
Each to their own, but that's how I find it at the moment.

Restricted freedoms in early recovery such as 'stay away from relationships for the first year'

This refers to the advice to stay out of relationships, to move or not to move, to take business trips in early recovery etc.

Firstly, the rules are, there are no rules, so ask your if sponsor if you are not sure about something.
Remember initially restrictive practices are NOT done for the sake of them, they are really to try to !! Limit the risk of no-nothing new people from driving themselves into a ditch by mistake. Depending on how competent and proficient you are at practicing the AA suggestions, the more latitude you can be given, and be 'safe'.

It also depends on the 'life chapter' you are in at that time. If (god forbid) something utterly drastic is about to occur then such as open heart surgery or something!! Then a major life change is a BAD idea. Or ? Some other HIGHLY CHARGED event that threatens to ? Drive you mad.

I am no less alcoholic than you are. The only reason people who have been around a while have the 'freedom of the city' and newcomers don't Is because we HAVE ENOUGH SKILLS AND EXPERIENCE of the programme in practice to ensure safety.

So in other words, the more of a 'diligent goody-goody model AA student' you are, the more reliably you can be expected to perform suggested actions well (and therefore be comfortable on an INTERIOR level) and therefore be SAFE in those circumstances.

The more of a C**P AA Student you are, the more doubtful those additional freedoms will be.

That's why everything is on a case by case basis.

Basically, if you are an AA swot! you have a LOT more 'freedom' in EVERY sense. Doesn't mean you have it EASY. Just means YOU CAN COUNT ON YOURSELF TO TO THE RIGHT THING NO MATTER WHAT.

Its like being a little AA Ninja! A little 'any lengths' machine!

There is a DIRECT correlation between adherence to AA suggestions and INNER CALM. That's it! There's no big secret other than that!
Nothing happens by mistake. The people who get well and stay well are the people that are WILLING TO DO WHATEVR IT TAKES to have the best possible recovery. Its more of an attitude than anything else. You may not be required to do anything much, but you just kind of 'know' that at the back of your mind, if push comes to shove, and the s***t hits the fan, that your FIRST port of call will be an AA ? Thing.

Regarding business trips in early recovery: If I was your sponsor I would say yes (IF you wanted to do it) on the condition that you were a bit of an AA 'swot' while you were there. And no I don't mean going to meetings all day. I mean making AA stuff a priority. Which is different. In other words, go but play it safe. Not a short leash, not a very long leash. Somewhere in between!

The MIRACULOUS healing effects of TRYING to help newcomers

All I know is that helping newcomers in meetings by taking them for coffee afterwards was what enabled me to do things I had never been able to do before. Like feel marginally comfortable in my own skin!

It gives me the power to make my life work. Or something. I get a 'power' from it. Gawd knows. Impossible to explain. But my life works better when I do service.

I would just scan the room for a newcomer while in the meeting and I would go up to people after and introduce myself and ask them to go for coffee after. I did that every day. After every meeting. I still look out for them when I go. I started doing it in earnest after 3 months of attending meetings. LONG before I thought I had anything of value to share. I wasn't doing it in isolation, but of all the things I did, that gave me the MOST wellbeing, and does to this day. That's why I go on about it I suppose.

IT is THE strongest weapon in my AA artillery. I find one to one works best. 'distance' communication is not as good. Person is better than phone. Phone is better than email.
Anyway. That's what I've learned. I can't speak for others, but I see my Sponsees have MIRACULOUS relief from their demons when they do this too, and the old timers I know who seem to me to have the most ? 'wellness' are the ones who are focused on helping the newcomer get sober and stay sober.

So PHONE A NEWCOMER EVERY DAY.
"A newcomer a day, keeps the alcoholism at bay"

"Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety."
AA preamble

Faith, religion and Prayer will NOT keep you sober: "Faith without WORKS is dead"

You know it IS our higher power that keeps us sober, (NOT us) but faith without WORKS is dead. So prayer is only half the story. Service for me is what aligns me to my higher power and 'completes the circle' in my relationship with him/her/it/. Bill had a higher power LONG before he met Bob, but he NEEDED to try and help Dr Bob to stay sober.

AA is FULL of people who relapse who have a STRONG belief in a higher power and talk of prayer, religion and what have you, but at the same time do NOT report that they feel " as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected." (in relation to alcohol) (p85)
In fact they often say they feel like drinking, and they relapse, a LOT.

Why is that?

"Faith without works is dead"
p14
p15
p66
p76
p88 of the Big Book

"To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action."
p93 Big Book

(about meetings)
"happy in their release, and constantly thinking how they might present their discovery to some newcomer"
p158 Big Book

NB: This thing on page 84 and 85 is a "post step nine" promise. So you should be feeling like this if you have completed the first nine steps and are keeping yourself in 'fit spiritual condition'. (p85 Big Book)

I think if it WERE true that all one needed to avoid relapse were to have a belief in god, or a higher power, that there would be a MUCH higher rate long term sobriety. Also it would be unheard of to hear people who pray report that they feel like drinking in meetings. I hear it all the time, so I became aware very quickly that belief in a god or regular prayer WITHOUT "self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action." in the form PRIMARILY of HELPING NEWCOMERS, would be a pretty lousy recovery. So I never opted for that approach.

Why in the form PRIMARILY of HELPING NEWCOMERS?
" Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety."
AA preamble

So PHONE A NEWCOMER EVERY DAY.
"A newcomer a day, keeps the alcoholism at bay"

Hahaa I just made that up. Its a bit cheesy, but its true!

I do not need to 'be reminded' of the effects of alcoholism in order to want sobriety

"We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, THE PROBLEM HAS BEEN REMOVED. IT DOES NOT EXIST FOR US. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in FIT SPIRITUAL CONDITION."
p85 Big book.

When people in AA meetings nod sagely when a relapser (upon returning to meetings), 'meaningfully' reports how much worse it got whilst they were out, I wonder to myself, "Jeez, when was the last time these people bothered to speak to a newcomer???' ..they should know this stuff like the back of their hand!! They shouldn't need a relapser to come to meetings to 'report back'. (!!)

I suppose I am forced !! to observe the consequences of active alcoholism when I help people through the steps and help newcomers, so I am made aware of stuff like this whether I like it or not. Just never find myself 'forgetting it', or 'needing to be reminded' like I often hear people say in meetings.

I often hear this bandied about in meetings, as a popular idea about an important aid to stay sober. Along the lines of 'this is why I come to meetings," or "I needed to be reminded of how awful drinking is'. Or 'that helped me stay sober'. To me this way of staying sober bears little resemblance to the protection from relapse described on page 84 and 85 of the big book, so it has no relevance to my own sobriety, or my Sponsees, or my old home group for that matter. Basically I do not relate to it at all.

Its like that thing 'who ever heard of a hay fever sufferer with a compulsion to sniff flowers?' to me anyway, what these people are describing is a very weak mental defence, if it needs to be reinforced in this way. It means they clearly do not already feel " as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected." (p85)

Whatever. Its NONE OF MY BUSINESS how others conduct their own recovery, but that does irritate me somewhat. Its a grave misunderstanding of what AA proposes as a way of obtaining a mental defence. Its a LONG way from the 'fit spiritual condition' described in page 85. To my mind anyway.

Yes I KNOW this is a 'popular belief' in AA but I'm aware of that, and that's the main reason I'm drawing attention to (what I see) as inconsistencies between the reasoning inherent in those statements and the mental defence as described in the basic text. Also it bears little resemblance to my experience, but then, so does EVERYTHING I post as one of my polices is that what I share here is based on various 'case histories', including my own.

Small things with Great Love: 'Constant thought of others' in daily life. (As opposed to grand, lofty, one off, dramatic gestures)

There is NOTHING more powerfully restorative for our wellbeing than thinking of what we can do for others. (In my opinion!)
That's what service is. You don't have to be a missionary in Africa to be thinking of what you can do for others. There are PLENTY of people who can benefit from a kindness of some sort, right on our doorstep!
Gazillions !! in AA!
If we are treating others as we would like to be treated. Well that's what 'constant thought of others' is!

Its just being KIND.
Being CONSIDERATE.
PAYING ATTENTION to the needs of others.
Looking for things you can do that might ? help them.
It doesn't have to be a big thing. At all!

Like mother Teresa said..
“We can do no great things; only small things with great love.”

Another one is:
"You can't change the world, but you CAN change the world for one man."
(Cliff Richard said that, funny enough! I'm not a big ! fan of his music, although I'm sure its very good. but I like his generosity.)

I'm a service JUNKIE. Because I ! LOVE how It makes me feel. I get to feel ? GREAT when I ! try to help new people.
I love it. Its like a spring clean for the head or something! Feels DAM good!

If you don't believe me, just try it!
Pay CLOSE attention to how good !! you feel when you REALLY ! think of what you can do for others.

Its SERIOUSLY cool!
Works like a CHARM too!

Its not the 'craving' that makes you drink. Its the presence or absence of a 'mental defense' that is CRITICAL to staying sober

"Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, AT CERTAIN TIMES, *(ie not ALL the time) to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink."
Page 24 Big Book.

"Once more: The alcoholic AT CERTAIN TIMES *(ie not ALL the time) has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few cases, neither he NOR ANY OTHER HUMAN BEING can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power."
Page 42 Big Book.
*My insert!

The problem is not the craving as such. The problem is whether your 'mental defense' is shot! Good old Dr Bob suffered from cravings for TWO AND A HALF YEARS!! But, most importantly, he said "at no time have I been anywhere near yielding." See?
So what I'm saying is, don't concern yourself with the cravings, they indicate very little. It helps a LOT If you do Not skip meals or let yourself get thirsty. And stretching yourself to the point of exhaustion is NOT allowed!! Basic HALT really..
Eating something sweet, or a sweet drink can make cravings disappear. All this stuff is in living sober by the way.

There's a Big difference between a craving and a compulsion. If you have a craving but your 'mental defense' stays intact, then all is well!

The problem is when the mental defense is like Swiss cheese! And a momentary (amnesia induced) lapse in recall, leads us to believe we can put our hand on the (metaphorical) hot stove. Well THAT'S when we have a problem! Its all covered in the first three chapters in detail.

"There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove."
Page 24 Big Book.

The 'compulsion' is relieved if we adhere to the suggested actions. Higher power, talking to alcoholics, meetings, service. Its a basic drill. Nothing weird.
So you are in good company with the cravings!

From "Dr. Bobs NightMare"
"I spend a great deal of time passing on what I learned to others who want and need it badly. I do it for four reasons:
1 Sense of duty.
2 It is a pleasure.
3 Because in so doing I am paying my debt to the man who took time to pass it on to me.
4 Because every time I do it I take out a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip.
Unlike most of our crowd, I did not get over my craving for liquor much during the first two and one-half years of abstinence. It was almost always with me. But at no time have I been anywhere near yielding. "

WALK AWAY! Unless you have a heart of STONE, (or are completely NUMB), cruel words will ALWAYS hurt

Words can be INCREDIBLY hurtful. You can 'kill' with words. (Gossip in AA kills, for instance.)
It is VERY important to learn how to SKILFULLY AVOID argumentative and attacking comments, AND argumentative and attacking people.

When someone either thinks or says something POISONOUS toward us this is what is known as 'Psychic Attack'. Well I call it that anyway.
It can take the form of, Rant, bile, blame, digs, sarcasm, hurtful comments..

As part of taking care of myself I WALK AWAY from people who TRY to say toxic things to me. I simply DO NOT TALK to verbally attacking people. I do not know how NOT to be hurt by cruel words any more than I know how to NOT be hurt by a physical injury.
Unless you have a heart of STONE, (or are completely numb) cruel words will ALWAYS hurt.

Moral of the story? STICK WITH THE WINNERS.

And physically avoid verbal attacks when they arise unexpectedly.
ie just WALK AWAY or END THE PHONE CALL when they 'start up'. Or even better, when YOU CAN TELL THEY ARE ABOUT TO START UP but they haven't got round to saying anything poisonous YET.

There may be a temptation to 'address' their negativity, (to 'win a POINTLESS argument' as they say in the 12x12) but it is MUCH easier just to STAY AWAY.

Regarding 'arguments' and disagreement generally..
"Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it."

"That's the thing about faith. If you don't have it you can't understand it. And if you do, no explanation is necessary. -- Major Kira Nerys

“To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.”
St. Thomas Aquinas quotes (Scholastic philosopher and theologian, 1225-1274)

“For those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't understand, no explanation is possible”

I do NOT try to 'convert' people to 'my way of thinking'.
It is NOT my problem, if they want to believe negative things!!!
I am under NO obligation to 'fix' them. Besides, it take FAR too much energy!

To me, all 'arguments' are essentially about a lack of faith in the other person. An EGO BATTLE of sorts. (Well that's how I interpret them in the role of sponsor anyway.) Outside that , I don't really know as I just do not find myself 'arguing' with people not in AA, because it is just too draining a form of communication for me. Life is too short.

This is basically another version of practicing 'Stick with the winners'.
Its probably one the MOST important things to do in recovery.
Negativity IS contagious. So is positivity.

Two Alaskan 'sacred space' sprays at the Homeopathic Hospital Pharmacy

They now sell these two sprays which I really like.
They are a handy way to 'transport yourself' into a 'better space' with very little effort! They will not have much of an effect if you have other very destructive life habits! But they can have a very pleasant improvement when your life is based on generous spirited principles and you would like a bit of a lift when something difficult has come along.

(No I do NOT have shares in these things!)

Calling All Angels.
(£12.50 or something for 150ml.) 
This one REALLY does connect you with a VERY NICE energy. I'm not an expert on Angels, but it DOES feel like angelic energy. Very SOFT. Beautiful actually.

Guardian (£12.50 or something for 150ml.) 
This one is protection. I feel 'safe' and 'contained' and 'not grubby' (like I have something 'grubby' stuck to me) when I use this one.

Royal London Homeopathic Hospital,
Great Ormond Street,
London WC1N 3HR
Pharmacy is open from 9 to 5. Monday to Friday.

I just never worry about relapse, or find myself thinking about drinking. (Obedient!) Sponsees are the same..

I have gone for long periods without meetings (after step 9) but I have never found myself worrying about drinking, or finding drinking attractive. I'm not an advocate of dependency on anything, including meetings, but I am aware that for a lot of people in AA, meetings are the places where they 'work their programme' in the form of fellowship. self revealing honesty, asking for help and helping others. If meetings are the ONLY places you practice those things, (!!) then you really ARE stuck without meetings! All I know is if I am practicing CONSTANT THOUGHT OF OTHERS, life is very easy. So many people still have what is called in the big book an 'alcoholic mind' despite attending meetings, and are effectively accidents waiting to happen.

I have found I can often spot the ones that will relapse ahead of time. So much so, that (if they ask me about their recovery) I tell them that I expect them to relapse at some point. Even down to the year! or month, depending. I told someone that quite recently actually. What I'm saying is that I do not find it mysterious when people relapse.

I'm VERY lucky because I stumbled across a method of doing the steps which seems to eliminate any risk of relapse. I know 100's of people who have done it the same way as I did it, and they just NEVER relapse. But that's why I chose to do it the way I did. It might sound trite and arrogant, but until I see just ONE person drink who has done it the way I was shown, I think it would be wrong to imply that there is a risk of drinking by doing it that way.

In fact that's one of the main reasons I've left bits of it online, as I think I was SO lucky to have learnt recovery the way I did. I'm sure there are MANY other GREAT ways of working the programme, but I simply haven't NEEDED to research the success of OTHER step methods as the one I've used up to now seems to work very well. I'm not alone in this, as my old home group contemporaries often express a very similar gratitude when we run into one another, as the longer we are sober, the more we realize how lucky we are.

Old post refs:
An old post called
The 'Alcoholic Mind' Do you still have one?
Listed under the label Untreated Alcoholism which explains a bit about it.
Also the
"Being around alcohol in Recovery" Topic has some stuff about how the big book describes our relationship to alcohol OUGHT to be after step 9.
There are 2 old posts called
After Step 9, How should we be feeling toward alcohol?
And..
Does the BB say that we should avoid alcohol after Step 9?
Which explains it.

Physically sick? Need Healing? Try the Medicine Buddha Mantra!

"If one meditates on the Medicine Buddha, one will eventually attain enlightenment, but in the meantime one will experience an increase in healing powers both for oneself and others and a decrease in physical and mental illness and suffering."
—Lama Tashi Namgyal

If you're sick here's a mantra which might help. It won't do any harm anyhow, that's for sure.
Obviously this is something I would expect you to do IN ADDITION TO CONVENTIONAL MEDICINE! Don't go canceling your heart surgery to do this mantra!
I use it for other people if I visit them in hospital or who are just sick and I used it once for my cat!
Like all mantra's I find it takes a few days of 'doing it' for it to 'warm up'. Just getting the word right takes a while! What I did with this one was leave my CD player on 'repeat one track' when I was home and just kind of sang along till I felt I could do it on my own. Or just stick it on your ipod on repeat, till you can do it on your own.
I do find that they really feel different if you just think them instead of saying them out loud. It 'comes alive' or something when the voice is used.
Anyway. Mantras aren't exactly an exact science. Just hold your intention (to be of benefit to all sentient beings) and do your best and see what happens! I never really try to get in to the exact translation of the mantra. I just try to hold a healing intention and sort of 'get into the groove' of the mantra.
There is LOADS of info on this if you look it up in google so theres not much point in me repeating it here.
The images have significance too. It REALLY HELPS to have the image around when you are using this mantra. It helps you 'access' this Buddha. Wisdom books is one of the best places to buy posters or postcards of Buddhist Deities, but Watkins bookshop always has postcards if you prefer. Or you can put an image on your desktop. Once you have bought the image, they ought to be treated respectfully though. You can't just fling them in the corner of the room. Leave them somewhere nice. With other 'nice' things. Not next to a book on war criminals for instance! A sunny window ledge will do, overlooking a tree perhaps. Whatever. I'm sure you get the drift!
There is no empowerment is required to use this mantra so don't worry that you are breaking a rule!
You don't need to believe in these things in order for them to work. Its the same as the aa programme. Its just 'a programme of action', only in this case the 'action' is the mantra, instead of the 12 steps.

Buy this CD it's GREAT!
It's called Rain of Blessings by Lama Gyurme
You can even buy it on iTunes!
One of the BEST tracks is the 'Medicine Buddha Mantra' track

This is the correct spelling of the Medicine Buddha Mantra
TA YA THA
OM BEKANDZE BEKANDZE
MAHA BEKANDZE RANDZA
SAMUDGATE SOHA

This is the way I pronounce it.
(I picked up the pronunciation and the rhythm from the CD Track)

Tay Ya Ta
Om Beck-an-ze Beck-anze
Ma-ha Beck-an-ze Ran-za
Sa-Mu-Ga-Tay So-Ha

Here's a link which explains quite a lo about the medicine buddha. Alsothis one looks pretty good too.
Disclaimer: Obviously, please ignore this if you can't handle this idea!

Helping Newcomers: If you manage to get this skill right, it's like hitting the jackpot in AA terms

Being kind to difficult people isn't easy! For me it only really works if I'm willing to go to ANY LENGTHS to help them. Half measures pretty much avails me NOTHING.
I often want to give up on new Sponsees. Its a VERY demanding skill. But the best way to learn is trial and error. I've never found it easy. I do it for the benefits to myself. Not because its easy or pleasant. Like most things in life, THE MORE YOU PUT IN, THE MORE YOU GET OUT.
Its the TOP AA suggestion for wellbeing, so its well worth persevering, even though its difficult.
If you manage to get this skill right, it's like hitting the jackpot in AA terms. Why? Because the big book tells us..

Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. p97
When ALL other measure failed, work with another alcoholic WOULD save the day. p15
On talking to a man there, I would be AMAZINGLY lifted up and set on my feet. p15
Practical experience shows that NOTHING will so much insure immunity from drinking as INTENSIVE work with other alcoholics. p89
For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could NOT survive the CERTAIN trials and low spots ahead. p14
OUR VERY LIVES, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our CONSTANT thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. p20

Having said that I always tell Sponsees to pick the EASIEST newcomer to begin with. As there is a VAST range of mental and emotional deterioration in AA. The easiest are the most willing, not necessarily the least 'damaged'.

Being a doormat is pretty lousy even in GOOD conditions, but when it comes to being a sponsor, well that's just voluntary sufferance of the worst order! I think I learned assertiveness from talking to new people. i don't tolerate any rubbish at all now. but not in a Nazi way! if you know what i mean...

I was told (by old timers in my home group) to practice step 12 (in the form of phoning newcomers every day) as soon as i started my program. I didn't wait till I had done steps 1 till 9 before doing 12. its the most stabilizing thing I know..

Consequences. 'Luck'. 'The little things. There's nothing bigger, is there?' Protection.

Karma. Cause and effect. Consequences.
'The little things. There's nothing bigger, is there?'
Motive to be of Maximum Helpfulness.
'Luck'.
Sliding Doors. Vanilla sky. It's a Wonderful Life.

Karma is just another word to describe the law of cause and effect. Or CONSEQUENCES.

Sliding Doors is a 1998 film with Gwyneth Paltrow in it.
The story roughly goes that: Young Helen is fired from her job at a PR company, and when the sliding doors of the tube car close on her, we start to see what would have happened if she'd made the train, and if she hadn't.

This film is about how your life can go in TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS based on ONE very SEEMINGLY TRIVIAL event.

Some people would say the thing that determines which 'fork in the road' we are drawn down is due to 'LUCK' Luck is the word I use when I talk about these things, but really I don't know what word to use for it. Some would call it DESTINY. All I know is that I always feel that my life and everything I value in it is ALWAYS COMPLETELY IN THE LAP OF THE GODS. And that EVERY LITTLE THING I do, or don't do, no matter how small, creates my future life. Good or bad.
I also believe that the gods and devas ?? Whatever they are, really DO exist and CAN intervene and try to help us steer our lives to better things. But I also believe that we 'earn' this 'protection' MAINLY through the action of

'CONSTANT thought of others and how we may help meet their needs' (p20)

And I think this is why the big book tells us that:
'OUR VERY LIVES, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our CONSTANT thought of others and how we may help meet their needs' (p20)

And:
'For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could NOT survive the CERTAIN trials and low spots ahead' (p15)

And:
'Keep on the firing line of life with these MOTIVES and God WILL, (not might) keep you unharmed' (p102)

Another film which dramatizes THE SAME THING is the film Vanilla Sky with Tom cruise.
Only in this film the 'trivial event' is not a sliding door on a tube, but a momentary whim to get a short lift from Cameron Diaz.

Heres a segment of the script of the Vanilla Sky film.

Tech support:
(referring to Sofia) 'This was a kind woman...
an individual...
more than your equal.
You barely knew her in real life, but in your Lucid Dream...
she was your savior.

(and later..)

Your friend Brian Shelby threw a three-day memorial in your old home.
He was a true friend.
You were missed, David.
It was Sofia who never fully recovered.
It was she who somehow knew you best...
and like you, she never forgot that one night...
where true love seemed possible.
Consequences, David.
It's the little things.

Tom Cruise:
The little things.
There's nothing bigger, is there?

Because (as these films so eloquently dramatize) DESPERATLEY IMPORTANT OUTCOMES can hinge on SEEMINGLY INSIGNIFICANT ACTIONS, I know for a fact that I CANNOT foresee the terrible or brilliant CONSEQUENCES of ANY of my actions. So I RELY COMPLETELY on the 'gods' and devas ?? to GUIDE ME 'in all my affairs' so that UNLIKE Gwyneth in sliding doors and UNLIKE Tom in Vanilla Sky, I AM LOOKED AFTER AND PROTECTED FROM THE POTENTIALLY TERRIBLE CONSEQUENCES OF EVEN THE TINIEST DECISIONS.
So basically that's what I mean by 'luck'

So that's why I try (very imperfectly) to look at what I can contribute to any situation. Purely as a form of SELF PROTECTION or 'LIFE INSURANCE'.
I am NOT asked to SUCCEED in my attempts to try to be helpful. I am just asked to TRY to be of MAXIMUM HELPFULNESS.

So basically that's what motivates me to practice
'CONSTANT thought of others and how we may help meet their needs' (p20)
'in all my affairs' and to maintain a HELPFUL MOTIVE fairly constantly.

It doesn't mean that people always like me or agree with me. But that's not the point. That's not what the big book promises us. We are promised that we will 'remain unharmed'. I frequently meet people who try to make my life difficult and have a hostile attitude toward me, but I am able to remain unharmed, and that is what is important.

The film 'What a wonderful life' also dramatizes the HUGE long term consequences of what seem like VERY SMALL THINGS at the time.

This is the nature of life I'm afraid. EVERYTHING is important. All the time! In ways we just can't even imagine. Our only hope is divine help! But thankfully the big book PROMISES us exactly that in exchange for 'CONSTANT thought of others and how we may help meet their needs' (p20)
So we can rest easy!

Some quotes that spring to mind are..
"We cannot do great things in this world, we can only do little things with great love" ~ Mother Teresa
And
'You cannot change the world, but you CAN change the world for one man'

Phew! Hope that explains it!
I encourage you to watch these films more than once, so that the message of them really sinks in.
Just try to earn as many 'good karma points' as you can! It all helps!

By the way that does NOT mean give up your day job to become a missionary in Africa! It's god's will for us to be HAPPY JOYOUS AND FREE, (p133) so if being a nun DOESN'T make you happy, joyous and free, then its obviously NOT god's will for you! Thank god!

You don't stop making STUPID mistakes after step 9

Sometimes REALLY BAD stupid mistakes.
Sometimes stupid mistakes that throw EVERYTHING YOU HAVE WORKED FOR into jeopardy.
The BAD new is, that ALL humans make mistakes. You NEVER stop making them. And you don't get to choose what kind of mistakes you make. It might be just mildly stupid, or it might be devastating. You will will NOT get to choose which kind you will be making next... Even after step 9. That choice will ALWAYS be denied you.

So what's the point of doing the first nine steps I hear you ask?
Well..
So that you can 'clear a channel' by 'Having a spiritual awakening as a result of doing the steps'
That will enable your higher power to..
'keep you unharmed', despite you ending up on the 'firing line' once more!

As in the big book quote...
Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God WILL, (not might) keep you unharmed=

So for me,
keeping myself in FIT SPIRITUAL CONDITION
And
Looking for opportunities 'to be of MAXIMUM HELPFULNESS

are for me, a form of 'life insurance policy' against my own (potentially FATAL) STUPIDITY.

I thank God for sparing me (so far) from the most awful consequences of my mistakes in recovery. I just try to be helpful, and I seem to stay out of really bad trouble. That's all I know. But I've seen it so many times now, where people REALLY do seem to be LOOKED AFTER that I just don't question it anymore.
Obviously I could never prove it, but I just believe it. That's all.

The Green Tara Mantra

If you have become what I call 'energetically sensitive' as a result of doing the first 9 steps. This will help you keep psychic attack and negative vibes generally at bay.

It goes.
OM TARE TUTTARE TURE SOHA
A Picture of the Green Tara is here.

There are many types of what is called 'psychic protection' on the market so to speak. But my two favorites are..
A. Generating good karma/energy by 'constant thought of others', (provided your MOTIVE is good).
B. The Green Tara Mantra

I know virtually nothing of these things, but I am of the belief that the Green Tara is a protective 'Being' or 'Energy" or both. Either way, as far as I'm concerned, she is REAL. And very powerful. She always decides to incarnate as a female. She is a very strong female energy. She is very green and sits on a lotus. Her only 'job' is to PROTECT.
Rather than try to explain it I'll just tell you how to use the Mantra.

Basically just repeat it over and over. The more you practice, the better you get! You can say it whilst using a Mala if you like. You can buy Malas at places like Watkins in the Links menu sidebar. Also you can get picturesof her and other 'Beings' in places like Watkins.
In addition to that you can visualize her while you say the Mantra. Sometimes I just visualize her in the centre of the room that I happen to be in. I imagine her to be a huge irridescent luminous enegy with female form, sitting in a very distinct pose like the picture depicts. With balletic accuracy of limbs. Very beautiful and filled with light. Large too. The size of two people high, with an elaborate and detailed 'thing' that she is 'sitting' on. She's very cool in my opinion.
Anyway I digress. What I have found, is that I DO get protected form 'bad' vibes and hostility of sorts

Disclaimer: Ignore this completely if this does your head in! I have NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER in trying to make you adopt ANY practice that you do not feel ok about. This is an OPTIONAL step 11 'widget' for want of a better word, only for those that like to try.

Disclaimer 2: Please use common sense with this! Do not seek out dodgy people places and things for no particular reason and think you will be 'safe' because you have this mantra! The universe does not reward wanton stupidity!

HIV is a heterosexual issue I'm afraid

And much easier to catch if you are female.

I'm afraid the BAD news is that there is MORE std's around than EVER before. The problem is out of control. London is the HIV/STD capital of the UK. Bisexual men and more sexual freedoms generally means there is a BIG crossover of HIV to the heterosexual community. Lesbians have a better deal on the STD front as they score much lower, but deciding to be lesbian is a bit of of a drastic step to take to avoid STD's!!

Family planning and STDs are completely separate issues. Use condoms in addition to your family planning precautions if you are not 100% sure of the reliability of your partner.
HIV is not just for gays and drug users! Its fair game for the heterosexuals nowadays!! And MUCH easier for women to catch!

Educate yourself on STD's
Get screened some where like this. Check for everything. Including HIV.
HIV takes 3 months to show up in the bloodstream.
Learn about the viral infections like warts, and herpes. You can catch them even when you use a condom, and even when there is very little visible evidence of infection in the partner.

So basically, the days of screwing around are numbered I'm afraid. TIMES HAVE CHANGED. The possible consequences of not paying attention to this area of your life are significantly more life threatening than they were five or ten years ago. Really.
And don't think that just because you aren't 'screwing around' means you are at any less of a risk. You only need to pick ONE sexual partner to get infected. One bad decision, and you put yourself in danger of contracting HIV.
So if you haven't been tested for HIV, do.
But if you have had a recent sexual partner, you will have to wait 3 months before you'll know. That's assuming that during the three month period your partner hasn't had sex with someone else. In which case you'll have to wait ANOTHER three months.
Complicated isn't it? The rules have changed a lot recently. Infection rates and drunken blackout sexual behavior is on the increase.

It presents a VERY good case for why a person who may drink but NEVER gets drunk AND has strength of character is now a VERY DESIRABLE feature in a future partner.
Ask your partner to get screened if they haven't been screened since their last sexual partner. Ask them to show you the letter showing the results of their tests, or you can come with them to the clinic when they get their results.
Don't just think they must be fine because they have no visible symptoms and they 'appear' to be in good health, or they seem like a 'nice' person.

Why 'CONSTANT thought of others'?

Chapter 2. THERE IS A SOLUTION page 20
Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our CONSTANT thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.

Chapter 1. BILL'S STORY page 15
If an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could NOT survive the CERTAIN trials and low spots ahead.

Chapter 1. BILL'S STORY page 14
Particularly it was it IMPERATIVE to work with others
as he had worked with me.
Faith without works was dead, he said.

Chapter 11. A VISION FOR YOU page 159
They knew they MUST help other alcoholics
if they would remain sober

..and God WILL keep you unharmed

Chapter 7. WORKING WITH OTHERS page 102
Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed.