I was listening to a talk by Ven. Ajahn Amaro today at work today called 'Ah so" (A talk given on September 1st, 2007) and is has a seriously great information about how to deal with both praise and blame. A very 'cool' unreactive response. Plus some great observations about how MUCH the mind LONGS for approval and how much it RECOILS from criticism. Even when its deserved.
He calls the reaction to rejection "Breaking into a million pieces" which I think is BRILLIANT
Because it REALLY FEELS LIKE THAT INSIDE when we are rejected.
In my mind I used to see painful rejections like some kind of splintered glass. Like when splinters radiate outward from a point at which a stone hits a car windshield. You know the way that kind of glass cracks? Like that. Like a spiders web or something. Except it isn't restricted in size to that of a car window. It sort of radiates out from ones solar plexus. The solar plexus is the nexus of the splinter impact.
Well that's how I see it in my minds eye. Transparent, but fractured into a million tiny little pieces.
Which is why I LOVE his description.
Obviously this describes a more 'obvious' version of rejection.
But lesser rejections (to me) feel like a reduced version of the above. Like its a weaker version. Like weak tea, instead of strong tea.
Anyway. Its a GREAT talk.
..Yes I am STILL addicted to Ajahn Amaro's talks..
Its what the ipod was invented for!
Have a SUPER Friday!
- An Irish Friend of Bill
- I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
How to deal with Praise and Blame: "Breaking into a million pieces" "Ah so"
Posted by An Irish Friend of Bill
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i'm going to check it out. hope all is well in your world!
I like constructive critism, critism is a hard one.. i dont get enough of it to get used to it... I think anyway, sometimes I wish people would tell when I "hurt" them. Or perhaps I dont hurt like I used to. Anyway, the more I make mistakes, the more I get ego punctured, the more I change to not repeat. I dunno, whats critism anyway? The truth? someones truth? which is.. helpful or someones resentment which could also be the truth? I am waffling, i'm sure all will be revealed when I have listened to ah so. have a good wednesday!!
Listened to it and thought about it. I break or begin to break into a million pieces when I THINK i will be critisised! and if I am critisised or HURT pride or questioned, or if something does not go my way, it doesnt have to be critisism.
Also I will be more mindful if I critisise, or question someone else... mindful that what I say may break them into little pieces even if that is not my intention..
I like what he says about the giving the anger back... i'll try and remember.
Have a great Thursday!
thanks for the link! yours is my favorite recovery site, you have so much great information... just wanted to say thanks : )
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