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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

The background ? 'hum' gets louder and more noticeable the more you observe the chaos without getting entangled in it

By the way, when I use the word chaos. I don't mean that as a 'bad' thing. A better term would be 'the full catastrophe' (as Kabbat Zinn says.)

Ive been listening a LOT to Mr Echart Tolle, (From the power of now audio books) and here's something I replied to another bloggers response to chaos in relatively early sobriety. I'm still I the process of dovetailing the two ideologies, but this shows what I make of it so far. Anyway hope you are all having a relatively stress free pre holiday time. I'm doing as little as I possibly can, and trying to say no as much as I can. Whatever. Here's what I wrote. Have a good Saturday!

The ego thrashes around like CRAZY when we are caught in a corner. the ego does NOT want to 'die' to what 'is'. Thank god the ego is not YOU. Whatever YOU are is FAR more interesting than the little old ego.

The 'actor running the show' is indeed the ego. or mind. False self. ..whatever you like to call it. but yeah, if you just observe the thrashing around long enough, the 'fight' dies down, and the ego lays there resting for a bit. Until next time anyway!

Are you beginning to sense the ? 'background' ? "calm' amidst all this exterior chaos? THATS where you are heading. THATS where the really cool stuff is. That's why you are sober and you don't want to use. THAT'S where the miracle is. Its the quiet hummm of peace behind all that clatter going on outside. The humm gets louder and more noticeable the more you observe the chaos without getting entangled in it. Some people call it being self aware. Other people call it enlightenment. Gawd knows what it is. But whatever it is, it is VERY cool.

(Mind you you only GET that stuff from doing all the suggestions. Faith without works is dead as they say. ..Just in case there are some new people who think they can leave stuff out based on what I just said!)

6 comments:

Kathy Lynne said...

Yes, I'm just starting to feel that peace, that calm, that ability to relax amongst the chaos. It fills me with gratitude particularly when I do a remember when and think of holidays past. Its just soooooooooo much better now.

molly said...

AGREED! Good, good stuff. Thanks for sharing :)

Phyllis said...

Ah, chaos. Sounds like a day in the life of where I work. I can handle it, and I have for 20 years so far. I sobered up in June, got hired at my job in November 1987. My life has been a rollercoaster but I have been sober through the ride and love it all!
You have a very Merry Christmas!!

recoveryroad said...

Interesting thoughts on ego.

I've enjoyed your blog this year, and the ideas and feedback you've been generous enough to offer me. Thank you. :-)

Merry Christmas!

johno said...

Merry Christmas, good to have you around this year :)

Shadow said...

merry christmas to you!