About Me

My photo
I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Indescribably wonderful (p17, AA Big Book)

"there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful." (p17, AA Big Book)

"We have entered the world of the Spirit." (p83, AA Big Book)

I have no idea how to describe the Thich Nhat Hanh retreat so I'm not even going to try.
Thank GOD, once again it provided me with more answers, more guidance, more insight. I rely completely on stuff like this.
I have no idea how people manage without it. It was magical and special, as usual.

The reason I'm not posting much these days is because I have been using the summer break to try to really get to grips with the talks by Munindo and Amaro. I am really trying to understand the suggested path they are proposing.
What I am finding out, is that it is a very subtle and carefully constructed plan, spanning from heart wisdom and indefinable places. Basically I cannot explain it.
And thankfully I don't have to because Munindo and Amaro do such a fantastic job. My explanation is not required. But yes, I am struggling to grasp what they are saying. I love it, but am very much a beginner in this subject so I find it very hard to remember. I keep forgetting bits and so I keep having to go back over it. Not sure if I am stupid or it is just a very subtle teaching.
Whatever. It is my FAVORITE path at the moment. It makes more sense than all the others. For the time being anyway. Its a weird one.
Very similar and yet very different to AA. More paradoxes than you can shake a stick at. But seriously great. So that's where my brain is at, and has been at most of the summer.
Its hard! Seems much harder than my term time study! But I think I'm addicted.
2 other AA's came along and really loved it. Whatever. Its pointless trying to explain this in words. Its one of those things that doesn't really make sense unless you actually GO. Same as meetings basically. You could never explain a meeting to somebody who had never been. Well retreats with this type of rare individual are very similar. Doesn't really reveal itself to you, till you SHOW UP. Shame, but there you go..

Anyway. There is a very senior Lama (Khensur Lobsang Tenzin Rinpoche) teaching over a three week period in the Jamyang Centre quite soon. I suggest you book very quickly as they sell out faster than hot cakes.

Also I am strongly tempted to attend a retreat with Sogyal Rinpoche as I have never seen 'Crazy Wisdom' in action ,and I think I might like it. It is a less formally restrained type of teaching. I like to think I have adopted a less restrained approach with sponsees so I might find his style of teaching very interesting.
Whatever. I have enough to be getting on with. A heavy duty academic year kicking off in three weeks. Head down till May basically.
Oh well.

But yeah I am a very blissed out bunny at the moment. Very happy with my 'education' into meditation practice over the summer.
Basically I don't watch TV. I very rarely listen to the radio. I only listen to music to keep me awake or during exercise, and the rest of the time I am listening to Amaro and Munindo. So im kindof getting in the groove, and want to hang on to it by maintaining what I have learned for as long as I can. Its SO easy to let this stuff slip.
I've started sitting for a mere 30mins in the morning and I have to say it is a blessed relief. Wonderful. But there you go.
I'm blissed out. I just want to listen to dharma talks and get 'in (and stay in) the zone. We shall see.

Oh yeah. And just as many mountains to climb as ever. I am still (aren't we all?) trying to figure out ways around my negative mental habits. Nothing changes! But I ! love the way it feels at the moment.
I am SO grateful for those recorded talks. That's all I can say. I've ordered DVDs of Thich Nhat Hanh retreat so that will remind me if I've forgotten anything..

Have a great Thursday!


molly said...

i hope to be able to go to things like that one day. i live quite far from anything it seems!! so i depend on youtube and oprah's webcasts & soul series stuff and internet. i never purposefully stopped watching TV during this past year of recovery but I don't watch much either anymore - so i relate to that. i go on a lot of walks with my dog each night.

so you are sitting a bit? that's great! i try but have no instruction so always feel i'm not doing it 'right' or something. it's gotten much better though. i used to not be able to sit for 2 minutes.. now it is much much longer. i realize now why meditation is LATER in the steps - before step 5, the brain is too racey.

i'm quite sure you are NOT stupid! (silly girl).. anything profound takes a while to 'sink' in it seems. sometimes i think i'm not 'getting' any of tolle's teachings but i think it settles into our consciousness or something? so we KNOW it before we realize we KNOW it, if that makes any sense at all.!??

I'm so grateful you introduced Tolle to me way way back - it's completely changed me (well that and working the STEPS!) Also grateful you introduced the Amaro talks - he seems so 'normal' or something. I want what HE has!

thanks for sharing. i've not been blogging much either. decided it a bit more honest to actually WORK at WORK instead of fooling around. what a concept?!

oh - got hair cut SHORT.. i send u a picie.

see u - thanks for sharing. you know i love all this stuff!

sorry so long. i get all hyped up when i read about cool things others are doing and learning. (or maybe it is the new hairdo!)ha

Wait. What? said...

I have a book written by Thich Nhat Hanh. I think he is coming to the US sometime this year, giving retreats - I should look one up, I think I would very much enjoy this sort of thing. Cat
(PS - thanks for the word verification heads up - I had no idea it was on)

johno said...

Glad to hear you had a great summer, your post feels chilled... :)

I find listening to all this stuff over and over on ipod etc is great for another angle to assist in my understanding or a teaching, but consistantly listening to the same voices and tones over and over NOT in person eventually blocks out the here and now and I lose track of whats actually happening so stopped for abit and listened to the sounds outside my head world noises.

I have read stuff this summer outdoors, in public and at home with ears wide open aswell instead of listening to recordings through earphones. I guess like everything, there are no wrongs its whatever is comfortable at any given time.

We all have our favourites. I still love John Ortberg's sunday talks and the other Menlo Park speakers the best.


I have found more and more that when I trust and let go of taking in information, the answers and understanding comes from inside and outside of me through prayer and listening to what comes. Somewhere along the line the words have been given to me and God picks em out when I need them!
Step 11 Progress huh?!

Nottingham uni campus & parks around are lovely aren't they? we used to go boating on the lake as kids and try and pirate the island! I am up there this weekend see my dad only 20 mins away from uni...

Have a great friday!

Anonymous said...

I advise strongly against attending a retreat with Sogyal Lakar aka Rinpoche. He is not an authentic teacher. He is also a sex addict and a sexual ppredator on a grand scale.Google him -- you will find lots of critical material.

Syd said...

I look forward to your posts and all the wisdom that comes from them. It sounds like you are in a great place in your head.

Recovery Road London said...

Thanks for sharing those two threads.

I had three happy years on that campus. *memories*

Kathy Lynne said...

Sounds wonderful and looks beautiful.

Anonymous said...

Hi I looked into Buddhism when I was first sober. I found out that Buddhists (Dali llama ) does not believe in a higher power or God and works towards a nihilist type of reality. The issue of reincarnation is problematic for me. Praxtice of 12step is the opposite of cause and effect. I realised that the theological development on from or beyond buddhism is ione god.the concept of a relationship with a higher power that is God. Best wishes in your journey