About Me

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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Almost instant cure for RSI: The Mind/Body Prescription

Well I've been suffering from what I'm going to call "the 12 days of RSI."
I've had it in the past, and successfully used Australian bush flower essences which pretty much fixed it. Anyway, I've used the same bush flower essences that I used the last time, and thank God they worked! Phew!

But whilst I was doing a little bit of extra research on the Internet for RSI, I stumbled across what looks like a fabulous resource which pretty much sums up my interpretation of how RSI arises in the first place. I had always taken the view that it was some sort of stress arising due to an unresolved dilemma of some sort, but I particularly like the way in which it is articulated by the woman describing how she recovered using Dr Sarnos's approach.

There is a link to it here. Another related page is here. And the Amazon book page references is here. Australian bush flowers are here.

What I mean is, but I thought I had an instinctive understanding of this, but I am really impressed by the clarity and straightforward explanation provided by this interpretation of how RSI arises. So, I listened to the the online recordings which summarise the method, and have been trying to consciously implement its suggestions, and although I was feeling good already, I feel even better than I did before I listened to the audio.

The gist of it goes:
Unresolved conflicts bringing to light parts of oneself one doesn't like to acknowledge. But the tension between the view one likes to have of oneself, (I am a good caring person who makes time for other people), and the view revealed by testing circumstances, (I don't have time to take care of you and everybody else because quite frankly I have got TOO MUCH TO DO right now), create internal tension, and unless you are prepared to look at this dilemma SQUARELY in the eye, and see the UNFLATTERING truth about oneself, the body creates a CONVENIENT DISTRACTION from the daunting, unflattering issue. RSI is useful because it creates an almost total distraction, because just about every movement is affected by it. This way, you have almost 24 x 7 distraction.

The cure? Simply to remind oneself when pain arises, that the pain is a convenient fiction to distract oneself from the dilemma, and to basically go straight to the heart of the dilemma and solve that, or at the least acknowledge it. Basically, if you face the demon, then there is no need for the body to ameliorate your stress by providing you with the painful distraction.

Cool. My conflict, or cognitive dissonance to give its true name, was the conflict between,
1. being a responsible person in my family, who does whatever they can to provide solutions to family problems.
2. Having too much on my plate right now to deal with the ENERGY VAMPIRES in my family who are currently in enacting various stages of drama, in response to one family member who has cancer. their drama, my current workload, their inability to understand my lack of drama, their inability to understand the extent of my current workload, is just too much work for me to take on at this moment in time, and at some point this problem will require me to tell them so, in a way that doesn't cause them harm, or shift blame onto them, for what is essentially MY personal limits of patience and tolerance, and mental and emotional energy.

Unsurprisingly, I do not like to see myself as somebody who does not have a great deal of patience and tolerance for the demands placed upon myself because of a 'cancer drama' presenting itself to a family member. Nor do I like to see myself as somebody who has to exert almost every available ounce of energy into my current workload, in order to achieve a satisfactory result.

Helping my family, is much more exhausting than helping a newcomer. As my family are much less open and receptive to new ideas. They are very conventional. So whereas an hour helping a newcomer might invigorate me and refresh my mind, an hour trying to help my family member, is straining, frustrating, testing, seemingly intractable. Like pulling teeth basically. Yes it can be done, but it's slow arduous work. I know because I've done in the past, and I've seen gradual improvement. But that kind of work takes moment to moment, unwavering focus, in order not to drift into habitual negativity, blame, fixed ideas. The only thing I can compare it to, is like dealing with a newcomer who doesn't want to get sober, who thinks they know best, who thinks they are right, and that I am stupid. I can help newcomers who fit that description, but it's HARD work, and one has to deal with ongoing slights and undermining remarks of one sort or another which is draining.

So that's why being there for my family in a non bullshitty kind of way, takes !! work, and because I'm at a !! PARTICULARLY busy point in my workload, my mind is pretty full !! up with that right now, so I don't have mental space for a pile of other concerns, which to me seem entirely self-inflicted and avoidable. I know that they want me to be there for them in what I would call a "conventional" way. But I am more accustomed to being there for other people, in what I would call a fairly nonconventional way. When I am concerned about another human being. I feel that in some way benefits them. Some would say that was delusional, to me it is nothing more than the power of prayer. I think that ANY good thought directed towards another human being benefits them, and I don't think it matters whether you call it prayer or anything else. So I feel as though I am doing my bit, albeit not in a way that I think makes sense to them. In this way the spiritual life is a bit of a curse, because one ends up dealing with people who are not on a spiritual path who think you think you're being a complete A*SE. The answer is in the St Francis prayer where it says:

"It is better to understand, than to be understood"

(yeah I know it's not exactly the same, but that's how I remember hearing it in aa meetings) Meaning, life is a great deal simpler, when instead of trying to make everybody else understand YOUR perspective, you behave in a way, and speak in such a way, that you are sure their limited viewpoint WILL be able to understand. It's as if we are talking two COMPLETELY separate languages, and in order to be understood I have to adopt THEIR language.

Obviously, I'm no doctor, I am not saying that I think you ought to adopt the same viewpoint, I'm just telling you this is what I make it today. don't for God's sakes assume I expect you to agree with me :)
Right well much as though I would love to stay and chat!, The gym is calling :) Have a relaxing cosy Sunday wherever you happen to be :)


johno said...

those that want and those that need. Carry the message not the sufferer... its true in all areas i find. Sometimes listening is the doing. Sometimes a hug every day is all thats needed (from me) for a grumpy moany ill person. Sometimes someone to make a cuppa tea watch 15 minutes of tv with them is enough. Sometimes I can see the/a solution plainly. It may not solve or fix, but it is worth a shot and may relieve some suffering (i think) BUT they are not in recovery in the 12 step sense of the word, and no matter how much whinging, people do, they frankly do not have to do anything even if it WILL or MAY do them good! hard to accept, much harder to let go, stop fixing and still sit by them rather than turn away.

Sounds like you have alot on your plate. Keep stretching them fingers and stretching them shoulders back!!!

As I have been told SO often.
Pray for the B*st*rds, pray for forgiveness and love them anyway.

Cancer has its own process... and at times seems to change it itself. It affects the mind, body and soul. It comes it goes it comes and it goes. It is a power greater...

Keep on, keeping on :) the darkest hours are just before the dawn..
and remember to breathe...

johno said...

ps. i've also learned recently that at certain times, and that time can last a long while... the last thing a cancer patient needs to talk about is cancer and illness. And spending time with people who dont treat them like a sick person, because they dont know the patient is actually a patient can also be a healing thing. Frustrating for the selfish/self seking bunch namely rest of us that see them look better and we havent actually done anything! Its more healing for them to see you/me getting on what we can do something about ie with my own life and doing it in a way that they know/feel they are not a burden atall... even when its not going to (my) plan. ok enough! and breathe...

Syd said...

I find that if I listen, I can read the energy of the person and tell whether they are too deeply mired in their misery for me to be of much service. Maybe a smile or simply asking "what can I help you with?" can get them unstuck from a bad place.
I do that with sponsees--ask "what's up?" and then listen. An ear is sometimes all that is needed.

molly said...

this is my 3rd attempt at commenting - i seem to keep breaking computers in the middle of posting to ya!! ACK! sooooo what i've been TRYIN to say is that i'm glad u feeling better. whew!

i have not heard of RSI before. the book looks good. i ran across this one the other day and it seemed interesting too: http://www.amazon.com/UltraMind-Solution-Broken-Brain-Healing/dp/1416549714/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1231701662&sr=8-1

(The UltraMind Solution: Fix Your Broken Brain by Healing Your Body First).. looks promising but i haven't read it. okay - i'm off before the puter bombs on me again and i loose my MIND! ha (i know - too late right?!). but yeah - glad u feeling better girlie.

Syd said...

Thanks for the great and thoughtful comment on my post about sticking it out. I am hard on myself as you can probably tell. And there are moments when I sink in self-pity. But I know that the grass is greener philosophy may seem attractive. But it still has to be mowed on both sides of the fence.

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