About Me

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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Saturday, February 05, 2011

The part of us that does not want to be in relationship to anything

“I often notice that when people get up from the table on the patio, they don’t push their chair back in. They have no commitment to that chair. They feel, “The chair isn’t important, I have to get into the zendo and hear about the truth.” But the truth is the chair. It’s where we are right now. When we leave the door open, it’s that part of us that does not want to be in relationship to anything, so we run out the door. We’re looking for the truth instead of being the unease and distress of where we are right now.”
Joko Beck. Everyday Zen.

Every moment of our life is relationship. There is nothing except relationship.
Joko Beck. Everyday Zen.

My thoughts..
The part of us that does not want to be in relationship to anything.
Frantically and unthinkingly looking for the next thing instead of being with ‘the unease and distress of where we are right now’.

Eg: acting in an inconsiderate way with people on the tube in order to get to the meeting on time. There’s a contradiction there :)
What does that action tell us about how we REALLY feel toward our feelings? It says ‘I don’t really care’. ‘I’m just going to carry on regardless’ I do not care enough to stop and attend to this discomfort. How uncaring. How callous. How insensitive. We scurry on regardless out of habit, fear and heedlessness. Like a hamster in a wheel. All fear and scurrying. We need to STOP, and notice what is happening. Like a glass of muddy water, if you stop just a little you start to notice these things when the water gets clear. The silly blurry heedlessness becomes easier you notice, and we can see the ‘unease and distress of where we are right now.’ This is what AA calls ‘Restless irritable and discontent.’ This is what we need to notice.

Sorry for prolonged absence. I am reading TONS of stuff. so am rethinking lots of stuff :)
Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skil
Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung?: Inspiring Stories for Welcoming Life's Difficulties
Mindfulness Bliss and Beyond: A Meditator's Handbook
Everyday Zen: Love and Work

Hope you are having a LOVELY Saturday :)


Mary LA said...

Good stuff, miss your posts.

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

thanks for popping by Mary. nice to see you too :)

Syd said...

Awareness is so important. I am much more aware of everything now. Much more learning of self and others still to do. Thanks for the reading suggestions.

indistinct said...

The disease becomes more subtle, still cycling through my life. Or, as someone said, the pathway becomes narrower.

Wonderful reminder. Thanks.

Let Go, Let God said...

This is well worth my reading. Thank you for the heads up.

Anonymous said...

I like those quotations you cited. And your sentence-- "The part of us that does not want to be in relationship to anything"-- that's very profound. I can relate to that very much-- when I'm depressed I just want to be alone so that I don't have to work too hard or accept love or feel rejection. But I also can't live without a relationship to anyone. I'm trying very hard to make friends because I DON'T want to be in that space again.

Anyway, I missed you in your absence!

Wishing you well,

Di-Git said...

I enjoy Ajahn Brahm listening to him on youtube. He is quite a prolific speaker.