About Me

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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Increased sensitivity toward others AND acceptance means: "It hurts you more but it bothers you less"

On a relative level, it hurts you MORE. On an absolute level, it bothers you LESS
"There is a GREAT freedom from the suffering that you feel. Much MUCH more intensely."
Quote at 6.15 of the video.

This is like a master class on emotional intelligence by Ken Wilber. Bless im.
This is for those of you that tend to get steamrollered by your emotions or fear that life will tear you apart unless you close your eyes to the suffering in the world. Ken has a very good explanation as to how more advanced practitioners view that ongoing tension.

My words:
Firstly. He distinguishes between what he calls RELATIVE reality, and ABSOLUTE reality.
Lets call the relative reality the ? world. 'People places and things', such as emotions, patterns of the mind. Al the emotional and mental 'traffic' we experience.

Then lets call the ABSOLUTE reality ? ..God, HP the power of AA as a whole. ? Whatever. Just something beyond the daily push and pull. Doesn't really matter what you call it. Its that place that feels ? beyond the surface of things. ? ..Gawd knows what it is, but it is beyond people, places and things. Including the capacity of the thinking mind.

In retrospect, I think this ? 'dual' reality he describes, of both a 'relative' and 'absolute' nature, (Buddhists call it 'conditioned' and 'unconditioned' reality, but it doesn't really matter what you call it) is the thing I was ! trying to describe in the July 2007 post called: The Spiritual Life: One foot in the 'World', One foot in the 'Ether' And another Dec 2006 post called: A strange 'dual' mind space shared by myself and my Sponsees. (And their Sponsees)

Anyway. regarding RELATIVE reality: Ken says at 5.06 of the video:
"The more awakened you become, the more INVOLVED you become, the more you actually FEEL, and the more painful it becomes. So the pain increases. (So do the positive emotions BTW.)
You become SO sensitive you can feel EVERYTHING that's arising for everybody. All that becomes something that you TASTE and you FEEL CONSTANTLY.

He then says at 6.03 of the video:
"On the ABSOLUTE side, it bothers you LESS.
So there is a GREAT freedom from the suffering that you feel. Much MUCH more intensely.

We have to give ourselves PLENTY of room to feel BOTH:
The ABSOLUTE PERFECTION in everything that arises.
..And yet see ONE person starving and you will start crying so hard it will kill you.
And if you are not doing BOTH, you are doing something WRONG."

My words:
AA's learn to see 'perfection' in this way by developing the spiritual principle of Acceptance p417 of the Big book
""When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation-some FACT of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I ACCEPT that person, place, thing or situation as being EXACTLY the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

NOTHING, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

(p417, AA Big Book) you can view the story this comes from called "Acceptance was the answer" here

*Apologies for the music on this vid BTW. Hey i didn't choose it!!.. but hey never mind.. :)

There is another ongoing tension with emotions between REPRESSION and INDULGENCE. But that's another post.
There are plenty of other Ken Wilber vids on Utube. Plus he has a website if you are interested..


Syd said...

I'm going to listen now. I must admit that the suffering makes me sad, and I tend not to close my eyes to it. Thanks for the video.

molly said...

i enjoy ken quite a lot actually. as a SIDE note, the boy asking the question is CUTE isn't he?! hehe
and the question he asked - i soooo wish i would have asked that question at a party i was at last night JUST to see the funny look on everyone's face.

i love ken's sense of humor in the beginning about his dating life and his new book. funny!

then he mentions Big Mind (genpo) and I'm just learning that process. the book is good but the videos of genpo doing it explains it mucho better. he's on utube as well.

holosync HAS increased my threshold for pain tolerance. but on the other end, i FEEL more - if that makes sense.. i 'get' what he says about it hurting more but bothering less. SOMETIMES i see it. other times i just go on and act a TOTAL fool and wonder if i'll ever get it 'right' on either spectrum.

i was just listening to wayne dyer's talk from the conference i went to and he said ' you are a living breathing paradox'.. true huh

i love at the end of the video where he tells the guy 'why should you care? b/c you made a deep deep promise at the bottom of your soul and you really can't turn away from that'

thanks for sharing. i like ken a lot and enjoyed the video.

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

Heheh miss molly checking out the guys! Hehe yeah I suppose he is quite cute but he looks a little ? bland or something. I think I prefer em a little more intimidating :)

Wow you sound VERY busy with all the holsync stuff. Cool. You lady ninja!
Yeah " threshold for pain tolerance" sums it up really. One monk called it being a 'strong vessel" as in a Jan 2007 post called: Becoming a 'Strong Vessel': Increasing your capacity for holding very powerful (good and bad) mind states in consciousness, without going mad! On


But yeah that a sounds like very healthy progress. Its addictie isnt it once you get started? Heheh..
Thanks y'all for stopping by syd and molly :)

Anonymous said...

When I have a dual reality working in my life I can be of service by functioning of a practical level with the RELATIVE reality but not get caught up in the outcome with the ABSOLUTE having ultimate authority. I love it when I’m teetering on this duality. It’s like flying. I have the luxury of feeling pain without the self pity, without the self will run riot. I remember discussing this with you in London, Irish friend. I am becoming more sensitive that I am constantly knocked for six yet I am less rigid for it to hurt. Makes sense to me.

It's all about meeee....

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

Hey nice of you to drop by meeee :) Glad you feel the same :)
Flying. Cool. never thought of it like that, but you're right, it DOES ! feel like that..
A sort of ? freefall abandonment. Nothing to hold on to,.. sort of feeling.
I find it very strange how on the one hand the world feels so much more alive, overwhelming and intense, yet at the same time I have the gift of perceiving that at all times I am looked after by the steady hand of ? something I cannot describe. This utterly neutral impersonal calm abiding place. To experience both at the same time is very strange. Like tasting sugar and salt at the same time. Two very distinct flavors of experience flowing through the senses.
Anyway I'm just glad Ken elucidated it so well for me. He seems to have a handy theoretical framework for !! every stage in the process. Bless im!
Anyway, hope you guys are doin the deal over there, as they say. :)

Hey BTW, don't you think Tom is cute?


I'm sure your ! discriminating eye will not have passed him by :) Anyway I always like to point out to the aa ladies that the spiritual guys can ! sometimes impress us with their good looks...They aren't all serious looking and what have you :)