About Me

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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

I don't really 'pray' for other people as such

I believe all thought forms and feelings have the same power as prayer. More like, all thoughts and feelings ARE prayers.
The film The Secret explains this idea pretty well.
For reasons I have not really given a great deal of thought to, I tend not to focus on one particular person in prayer. Perhaps I am mean spirited? I dunno. I think 'god' knows what every persons destiny is, and it is none of my business. I feel like if I pray for something specific, its like as if I went up to my boss with a letter from a client and said, I really think you should look at this first. Just seems wrong. But what the hell do I know. I have a TON of 'wrong perceptions' and this could be one of them. But the other reason, is that I feel my authentic concern and ? Feelings, thoughts about that person are a healing influence in themselves. I also think that ? Naturally occurring thought forms are pretty powerful, because they arise spontaneously and are utterly authentic. I think the more authentic a mind state is, the more powerful it is. I feel that if I have to sit down and think about a certain person, that there must be not much real feeling there to begin with. It sort of endorses the fact that I am a thoughtless b*****d. To be honest I have no idea if this is utter s***e or not, That's the thing with delusion. You can never really tell if you are right or not. Which is a shame. But I have a strong feeling that my thoughts and feelings heal others whether I pray formally or not. Actually I think is is BECAUSE I know how powerful prayer is that I have reservations about wielding its power. Formal practices scare me a bit because I think I am interfering with the course of events. I ALWAYS use the 'disclaimer' IF IT BE YOUR WILL at the end of ANY request, because I am TERRIFIED I will mess something up if I don't.

I think I tend to think I am contributing to the overall 'pool' of healing energy available to the ?? gods, devas, beings etc if I try to have as much wellbeing as I possibly can. Its like I am contributing to the 'energy bank'. I feel the ? gods, devas, beings and what have you are in a better position to allocate healing energy to the right places. My job in this lifetime is much more mundane. I am a spiritual pawn if you like. I am very limited in the work I can do to help people, so that's what I'd rather stick to. Its like I am the spiritual equivalent of an auxiliary nurse, and the real 'energy experts' ie the ? gods, devas, beings and what have you, they are the top surgeons. So I kind of just get on with my job of chatting to newcomers and what have you, and leave all the hardcore energetic work to them.
Besides I have such a limited view of the chain of events and future possibilities, that how can I POSSIBLY know what is best??
I also think that if I just get on with the messy business of trying to be useful in a more 'earthly' ways that the ? gods, devas, beings etc, will take care of me while I do that.

Like I say this is a very personal viewpoint. So don't think I'm saying you SHOULD do this. This is just where my feelings guide me, but like I say I have NO way of knowing if it is the right thing or not. (Like most things in life!) It just feels right. But I don't for one minute think that that means I AM right. My feelings have been wrong before. So gawd knows.

Generally, it goes like. 'Hands off'. "Leave it to the Pro's to figure out'. "Get on with helping people get sober'. "Back to work'.
Its like "Here's the mop, Back to work" "Look you missed a corner".

Some of you might think that sounds a bit harsh, but I have a VERY !!!! Clear picture of HOW LITTLE I KNOW, and I also have a VERY!!!! Clear picture that others know a GREAT !!!!! Deal more than me.
Which is just a way of saying that humility feels very real to me a LOT of the time. Which I actually like. It sounds crap, but I LOVE having faith in a 'power greater than myself'. Feels cool. Like having a 'proper' parent.

1 comment:

johno said...

When I pray for someone, am not praying to change the course of nature, I know this isnt possible, not long term. I know how I would like it to be and AT THE SAME TIME accept I am Powerless. Especially with ill people, not all ill people get through my skin, when they do, somehow praying anyway, helps me with accepting the outcome. Praying for Him to take care of someone, is for me handing them over like in Step 3. "I accept the outcome God" YOU really got me thinking with your post. I do not share your view, "I am very limited in the work I can do to help people" Perhaps ? this is knowledge you get from long term sobriety ? For me, I feel now, I have JUST STARTED in doing Gods Work, I have no idea how "far" HP wants me to go to do his work, so i just keep watching out for the signposts in other areas, opportunity for service, growth etc. I put NO LIMITS on His will for me. Its obvious today my Primary work is helping newcomers, and its a blessing to know and have this. The signposts do come and show me where I am of use elsewhere, but I do not rely on them. Sometimes I follow the signposts and my work is VERY LIMITED, not what I expected atall, and sometimes I have no idea why I went there... until long after. But thats God for you (in my experience) He works in VERY mysterious ways!! thanks dude!!