Trying to be objective and the tendency to practice One rule for you, one rule for me.
Its easier to be compassionate toward others than myself. A good way round it is to imagine the same thing in another person, and apply the same reaction to my situations as I would to the other person, even if it feels 'wrong' or doesn't make sense. In other words, use other people as a benchmark as to how to be more compassionate toward myself. Yeah. Its often a case of 'act as if'. But that's ok. Just because something feels a bit 'odd' or wrong, doesn't mean its the wrong thing to do. I kind of learn what the right thing to do is, from observing others, and apply it to myself. Instead of examining myself as such. To be honest, when I am looking at my own stuff, I often visualize my emotions as if I were another person, and this helps me see it more clearly. I see another person in my mind experiencing EXACTLY what I am experiencing at present, and that helps a great deal in gaining some kind of objectivity. But that might be a bit difficult for some people. If its to difficult, don't bother.
As regards seeing others differently than oneself, we all are like that. Our ability to be objective about ourselves is much less than our ability to be objective about others. We 'see' more clearly when we look at others, than if we look at ourselves. That's why helping newcomers invariably teaches us so much about OURSELVES. They are a 'clear view' of a shared psyche. We aren't really that different in a very basic sense.
Yes of course there will be differences between us and other people, but the AA instruction is to "look for the similarities, not the differences', so that's what I do. Otherwise I would conclude I was terminally unique.
- An Irish Friend of Bill
- I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
I see MYSELF much more clearly in OTHERS, than I do when I look at myself
Posted by An Irish Friend of Bill
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