ASK! The people that matter don’t mind, and the people that mind, don’t matter, so there is NOTHING to lose by it!
Start by asking and see how it goes from there. STOP WORRYING ABOUT HURTING THEIR FEELINGS. HE/ She's not a child! Its very patronizing when people who are new assume that you would 'get upset' by something as mundane as a simple question. But I'm so used to that misperception in new people that I almost expect it.
I always say, IF YOU DON'T KNOW, ASK! Alkys are very good at agonizing and 'stewing' for weeks instead of just asking !!!??? Asking is so EASY and solves so many problems, but most new people prefer to agonize relentlessly instead of going 'straight to the horses mouth' and asking a simple question!! Once you've learned how to communicate fearlessly, you'll wonder why you EVER subjected yourself to so much NEEDLESS uncertainty and confusion by being too scared to ASK FOR CLARIFICATION.
A lot of recovery involves 'biting the bullet' and 'doing the next right thing,' whether we like it or not. And its only by DOING the suggested actions that we get to see how 'wrong' our neurosis was. Its never a good idea to buy into neurotic thoughts about things generally. In aa or out of it. I don't think its possible to make a good decision based on fear. They just end up being neurotic decisions. Ie poor decisions.
- An Irish Friend of Bill
- I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
If you don't know something. Don't AGONIZE, ..ASK!
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Truly is a perspective that gives me another view of life and best of all, it gets me out of my self...ask and ye shall receive...thanks
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