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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Unmanageability: Lateness and Flaky-ness

A VERY respected old timer in my old home group would send Sponsees home if they were TEN minutes late for a 2hour 5th step appointment, even when they had traveled from the other side of London.

Personally, I haven't done that, but I make it clear that I will not tolerate my time being wasted due to Sponsees flakyness. (Without GOOD reason) But then I'm from a highly structured 'school' (meaning home group and line of sponsorship) of AA.

I don't know ANY flaky sponsors amongst my former home group contemporaries. The ones I know are VERY reliable.
I do not know ANYONE with 'decent' sobriety who would cancel AFTER the time at which they had arranged to to the event. Ie 11am for a 8am booking!!

I have NEVER made an arrangement with a Sponsee and cancelled with short notice. If they cancel with me at short notice, I am NOT happy about it! Unless they have a VERY good reason.

I HATE being caught up in any sort of arrangements with flaky people. I avoid them like the plague. I consider it MY fault not theirs if I PUT MYSELF IN A POSITION TO BE LET DOWN BY OTHER PEOPLE REPEATEDLY.
Yes there are exceptions. When people are SO damaged that they lack the ability to focus enough to be relied upon. Eg newcomers. But by and large I choose to form friendships with people who CAN be relied upon. Within reason.

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become UNMANAGEABLE.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventure before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and COULD NOT MANGE OUR OWN LIVES.

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