This refers to the advice to stay out of relationships, to move or not to move, to take business trips in early recovery etc.
Firstly, the rules are, there are no rules, so ask your if sponsor if you are not sure about something.
Remember initially restrictive practices are NOT done for the sake of them, they are really to try to !! Limit the risk of no-nothing new people from driving themselves into a ditch by mistake. Depending on how competent and proficient you are at practicing the AA suggestions, the more latitude you can be given, and be 'safe'.
It also depends on the 'life chapter' you are in at that time. If (god forbid) something utterly drastic is about to occur then such as open heart surgery or something!! Then a major life change is a BAD idea. Or ? Some other HIGHLY CHARGED event that threatens to ? Drive you mad.
I am no less alcoholic than you are. The only reason people who have been around a while have the 'freedom of the city' and newcomers don't Is because we HAVE ENOUGH SKILLS AND EXPERIENCE of the programme in practice to ensure safety.
So in other words, the more of a 'diligent goody-goody model AA student' you are, the more reliably you can be expected to perform suggested actions well (and therefore be comfortable on an INTERIOR level) and therefore be SAFE in those circumstances.
The more of a C**P AA Student you are, the more doubtful those additional freedoms will be.
That's why everything is on a case by case basis.
Basically, if you are an AA swot! you have a LOT more 'freedom' in EVERY sense. Doesn't mean you have it EASY. Just means YOU CAN COUNT ON YOURSELF TO TO THE RIGHT THING NO MATTER WHAT.
Its like being a little AA Ninja! A little 'any lengths' machine!
There is a DIRECT correlation between adherence to AA suggestions and INNER CALM. That's it! There's no big secret other than that!
Nothing happens by mistake. The people who get well and stay well are the people that are WILLING TO DO WHATEVR IT TAKES to have the best possible recovery. Its more of an attitude than anything else. You may not be required to do anything much, but you just kind of 'know' that at the back of your mind, if push comes to shove, and the s***t hits the fan, that your FIRST port of call will be an AA ? Thing.
Regarding business trips in early recovery: If I was your sponsor I would say yes (IF you wanted to do it) on the condition that you were a bit of an AA 'swot' while you were there. And no I don't mean going to meetings all day. I mean making AA stuff a priority. Which is different. In other words, go but play it safe. Not a short leash, not a very long leash. Somewhere in between!
- An Irish Friend of Bill
- I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Restricted freedoms in early recovery such as 'stay away from relationships for the first year'
Posted by An Irish Friend of Bill
Labels: For Newcomers, Protection, Relapse
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I wanna be an AA ninja!!
yeah i love the 'aa ninja' thing too. Its always appealed to me. What I cant BEAR, is that wishy-washy, middle of the road thing. I am pretty competetive i suppose..
I often tell sponsees I do 'ninja style' aa. it always gets a laugh, but i think its a GREAT way to explain the 'any lengths' aspect of the programme. It communicates that idea reallly well, i think..
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