Denial and delusion is kept alive ONLY by dishonesty. Which is effectively a SELECTIVE interpretation of events, in favor of our own (usually ego feeding) pet theories.
All bias is a form of dishonesty, and denial is an extreme position of bias. We are seeing things ONLY as WE want to see them. Regardless of how glaringly obvious it is to everyone else that we are out of touch with reality!
Unfortunately denial is an 'invisible' weakness to whomever is suffering from it, so they will have NO idea they are in denial. Even if everyone else can see it. 'Its a disease that tells you you don't have it'.
Therefore anyone with noticeable levels of dishonesty, in ANY FORM WHATSOEVER has a INCREASED chance of suffering (sometimes VERY BADLY) from denial and delusion. They may in fact be crippled by it. Basically the more noticeable dishonesty is in a person, in ANY form, the more 'fuel' there is in that person to prop up delusion and denial.
A person who is 100% honest, would be someone with an ACCURATE PERCEPTION OF REALITY. The more reality is 'edited out' or 'selectively ignored' or repressed. The more DIShonest a person is.
We fool ourselves when we allow ourselves to hang on to selective perceptions of the world, simply because we are scared of what accepting an alternative view might bring. We reinforce the machinery that keeps denial going and effectively ensure we stay blind.
'Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.' p58
'Those who DO NOT RECOVER are people who cannot or will not COMPLETELY give themselves to THIS simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being HONEST with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands RIGOROUS HONESTY'. p59
- An Irish Friend of Bill
- I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Dishonesty is what fuels Denial and Delusion
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Learning to be (self) honest and honest with others ws like learning to walk again for me.
I can relate to that completely kenny. I think being honest is a very sophisticated skill. It can be as simple as committing to not telling lies on a daily basis, or it can be a commitment to seeing things the way they actually are, instead of how we THINK they are, which demands an entirely different set of skills altogether. All I know is it never gets easier either to be ENTIRELY honest, OR to avoid deluding oneself. It requires a big effort. But I must say its a huge relief to feel as though I AM being honest, most of the time. Honesty always feels very restful.
I just went through a lesson in rigorous honesty when a friend asked me to do something less than ethical in a financial transaction to save herself a few bucks. Rather than take the time when I felt uncomfortable with the question and say "I'll think about it," because LORD if I said "No, I can't do that" she might not like me, I agreed and am left feeling mad at her and uncomfortable. This IS a program of rigorous honesty; that is what the term "cash-register honesty" means to me. Anyway, I've learned that when people ask me to participate in their scheme, no matter how trivial, I am going to say "I'll let you know" if I can't say "No" outright. I'm still growing, that's for sure.
Oh yeah, whom I'm really mad at? I'm mad at ME!
you poor thing! i started writing a reply and ended up doing another post, so thats where the reply realy is. i find this sort of thing happens a LOT.
after reading the comment i realised myself that i was dishonest before and now that i am recovering from these addictionsand that i used to lie at home after having a large amount of alcohol telling i had been to my friends place and smoke nearly 2 pakets of cigarretes and chewing mint and lying that i have never smoked or never addicted,now i am ashamed and feeling guilty of myself
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