About Me

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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Boundaries: 'No' is a complete sentence

I love that thing "No is a complete sentence'. Always makes me laugh. sometimes I say no just for fun! heheh.

For me, saying no is often an 'act as if' thing, meaning there's still some sense of obligation lurking. I have guilt but I work HARD at ignoring it. I find once I am free of obligations, it dawns on me what a wise decision it was. I kind of grow into the decision or something.

I prefer to call this tendency 'caving in to peer pressure'. I always ORDER my Sponsees to be their own person if I take them on, as I can't stand working with wimpy compliant people. Apart form anything, it slows down their progress if they do. Therefore creating more work for me! which is never a good thing!

All I know is being an independent thinker and 'your own person' are SO important. Being a martyr doormat is VERY miserable.
I think I still do stuff to get approval or to be 'seen' to be doing good at something. But not a great deal. I think I'm a bit of a black sheep at heart and take a perverse pleasure in doing the opposite of what (I think) people expect me to. Still very reactive I know, but just in a different direction! Taking ones life back is a very worthwhile cause.

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