About Me

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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Shame-free explanations about what EXACTLY is getting in the way

One of the things I have to do a LOT with Sponsees (in the past) is communicate to them IN TERMS THEY CAN UNDERSTAND, what I think is road blocking them, as often they cannot see it. I also am interested to see what they make of these ideas as I have no intention of following them around all the time to observe their behavior, !! so I NEED their feedback on what I think I see is going on with them. Sometimes I am dead right, sometimes I am not, especially if I have not spoken to them for a while, and have no idea what they have been up to,

I had about 40-50 refusals to sponsor me until my former sponsor capitulated, and not ONE of those refusals explained 'properly' why they didn't want to. I was convinced there was something I was doing wrong but I had NO ideas what it was, and they seemed reluctant to guiltlessly explain what the matter was. So if I ever feel I am not able to help someone, I feel I am doing them a HUGE favor if I explain EXACTLY why that is.

I just don't understand why people feel these character impediment are a problem. I see no shame in having them. Its neither here nor there. You just either have them or you don't. So I have shame free conversations with them about what is getting in the way.
I don't see them as either 'good or bad, right or wrong', but I DO know what makes sponsorship easy and what makes it difficult, so that IS easy to communicate. Some Sponsees are easier than others. I will have to do a post on how to be an 'easy' Sponsee..
I clearly was NOT an easy Sponsee when I was new, but I had to figure out what I was doing wrong all by myself, and I would have preferred if someone had told me, as I might have been able to get a sponsor more quickly than I did.

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