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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Integrity: DON'T follow the crowd. 'To thine own self be true'.

Conforming is EASY. It is living with integrity and authenticity that is extraordinarily difficult. So many people are on auto pilot, and don't even stop to ask themselves what they REALLY want. or what they REALLY believe to be true. I find being honest with myself one of the scariest things in the world. the answers I come up with about what is 'true' NEVER seem to gel with social norms. reality is VERY challenging! well that's what I find anyway.

A large part of being true to myself was talking inventory of my pride in the form of "what will people think of (the great) me?" in step 4. I was RIDDLED with it. Making that ego puncturing admission time after !! time, with seemingly endless resentments, made me NEVER want to think like that again. Now I REALLY notice when I find myself thinking that, and I cannot entertain its legitimacy. Step 4 (for me anyway) really 'put the boot in' to my defects of character. Just made it REALLY difficult to take the thinking the defects provoked with ANY seriousness whatsoever. So I think that's helped me disregard what other people think I 'ought' to be doing.

Really, its nobody's business but MINE what I am doing, just like its none of MY business, what everyone ELSE is doing.

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