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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Being 'well' is not a 'Get out of Jail Free' ticket, for those who are unwilling or reluctant to break unhealthy ties with the past

Sometimes newer people in AA, think that there is something 'wrong' with them if they get upset by unkind ot thoughtless comments. That if they just work their programme 'a little bit harder' they will somehow become IMMUNE to normal feeling responses.
That's not 'serenity', that's NUMB!

Well that's not really how it works! The point of being 'well', is NOT to develop immunity of some sort to toxic situations. It pretty much works the other way around actually. Meaning the longer I am around, the HARDER it is to be around crazy people.

Being 'well' is not a 'Get out of Jail Free' ticket, for those who are unwilling or reluctant to break unhealthy ties with the past. Serenity is not some sort of 'emotional immunity' to BAD life choices. I have found that sometimes, people think they can 'play with fire', or indulge destructive relationships with toxic family members or ex boyfriends, because they now feel 'better'. They soon find out that they start feeling pretty lousy the moment they choose to ignore the 'stick with the winners' suggestion.

They do NOT say, 'stick with the winners', except after you have done step 9, or except when you feel extremely grateful and serene' does it?

AA's with their own agendas, 'read' their own 'exclusion clauses' into every suggestion!

Basically. You can't have your cake and eat it too!
You pays your money, you makes your choice.
Choose toxic people, and you start feeling TOXIC. No matter HOW long you have been sober, or HOW many steps you have completed..

2 comments:

Noor Azman Othman GBE said...

Thank you for sharing this post, my friend. You see, I was quite upset to received an unkind and thoughtless comment on one of my site. I was about to write about it, I mean ranting and raving my heart out about it. I don't know what really happened, I just clicked your link. I usually do my blog-stalking by eleven o'clock at night (my time) and I came this 'Get out of Jail Free' post. I admit, I am a NUMB!

I guess I'm lucky to have all my Recovery Friends that is listed on My Sacred Links. I hope I shall be clean and sober, just like them.

Thank you again for the wonderful lesson, as usual, my Irish Friend of Bill.

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

Well done Noor! Looks like you SUCEEDED in practicing
"Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it."
AND
"Restraint of tongue and pen."
Which are BOTH pretty !! Difficult to do in the heat of the moment!
So well done! Gold star!
See, THAT'S what I call 'going to any lengths'!
VERY cool!