Arguing the toss. Fighting Fair. Conflict Resolution.
NOTHING is black and white,
So don't be INFLEXIBLE or STUBBORN when it comes to 'I want' or 'who's right'.
"Some of us have tried to hold on to our (DEEPLY INGRAINED) old ideas and the result was NIL until we LET GO absolutely." BB p58
"We "constructively criticized" someone who needed it, when our real motive was to win a useless argument." 12x12 Step Ten
"We must avoid quick-tempered criticism and furious, power-driven argument. The same goes for sulking or silent scorn". 12x12 Step Ten
"we thought we were helping others to understand him, when in actuality our true motive was to feel superior by pulling him down." 12x12 Step Ten
"We sometimes hurt those we love because they need to be "taught a lesson," when we really want to punish." 12x12 Step Ten
"We were depressed and complained we felt bad, when in fact we were mainly asking for sympathy and attention." 12x12 Step Ten
"It will become more and more evident as we go forward that it is pointless to become angry, or to get hurt by people who, like us, are suffering from the pains of growing up." 12x12 Step Ten
Let go or be dragged (Slogan from meetings)
There is ALWAYS a THIRD WAY.
It just takes a bit of CREATIVITY!
Which you should have in SPADES if you are a bit creative!
Well lets face it, we were ALL very CREATIVE when it came to FINDING WAYS TO GET TRASHED.
Well then. I rest my case!
If you both seem to have different outlooks regarding something,
Ask yourself if you can think of a way of 'managing' those seemingly opposing preferences,
Can you think of a bargain you can make between yourselves or boundaries that would allow for the needs of both in a CONSIDERATE way?
Most of life just requires a little bit of imagination! That's all!
- An Irish Friend of Bill
- I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Conflict resolution: NOTHING is black and white. ..So find the THIRD WAY
Posted by An Irish Friend of Bill
Labels: After Step 9, Boundaries, Relationships, Self Will, Social skills, Step 10, The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions
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