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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Am I a FREAK or C**P at my AA programme if DIFFICULT people make me angry? NO.

It's PERFECTLY NORMAL to have your patience tested to it's LIMITS, when we are thrown unwittingly into having to deal with DIFFICULT people.

You are NOT a freak for being angry! It's how you DEAL with the anger that arises that 'sets you apart' in terms of our programme.

Beating yourself up for simply BEING HUMAN serves no useful purpose. Compassion! Anger has its own rhythm. You just have to let it run its course, WITHOUT ACTING OUT destructively.

Here's some stuff which is good if anger has 'arisen'.
Go scream into a bowl of water, (Quite fun actually!, even when you don't feel REMOTELY angry!!)
Strangle a towel!
Clean up..in a slightly ferocious manner!
Go do some weights in the gym.
go to a lake and throw stones into it. ?? Heheh. Well you know what I mean.

I'm a BIG fan of the old 'Taoist Arch' trick when emotions run high, but that's just me.

By the way. This is NOT a license to be ANGRY ALL THE TIME, or TO THINK IT IS NORMAL TO WANT TO KILL PEOPLE. (Yes, I have met MANY people in AA who subscribe to this view!) Jeez. Oh well..
NO that is NOT normal. If this is how you feel you have a BIG problem with anger and you are SERIOUSLY UNDERMINING your 'fit spiritual condition'. Why? Because "Resentment is the number one offender". p64
It is NOT 'ok' to act out on your anger. Why?
Because "If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink." p70

Just remember: "Restraint of tongue and pen.", "Restraint of tongue and pen.", "Restraint of tongue and pen."
Repeat it like a mantra! Until the desire to tell them what a USELESS WASTE OF SPACE THEY ARE, subsides! Heheh.
If I'm honest, the MOST powerful leveler of ANY yukky emotion is the old chestnut 'Constant thought of others' . Meaning service of some sort.

Just thought I'd put that in just in case! This post addresses people who have completed the first nine steps and are NOT a seething cauldron of contemptuous rage! (Hahahaa) or (one of my FAVORITE big book quotes) the sort of person who "explodes over a trifle". p126
Heheh. I LOVE that one.. Always conjures up the FUNNIEST pictures in my mind..

6 comments:

recoveryroad said...

Thanks for the 'Taoist Arch' trick. I shall try to remember that whilst mingling with the civilian population!

Thanks for helping me stay sober for another day.

:-)

K

Noor Azman Othman GBE said...

Thanks for the lessons, my Irish friend of Bill.

I'm going out now, to the gym. Got some weight lifting to do!

NMAMFQLMSH said...

I honestly don't know what to say about this post. Lately I have been very verbal but to myself. Strange? Yeah I guess so. I'm learning a lot in therapy.
JJ

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

I'm not sure what you mean by verbal, but I don't see it so much as to what you SAY. More along the lines of whether I am harming other people by what I say. But being a doormat is not ok either. I would deal harshly with someone who was antisocial or threatening, IF I thought doing so would bring the problem to a halt. If on the other hand my harshness just escalated the situation, I would not use it. It just depends. Saying angry things as an expression of frusration if no one is present, I would not see as harming anyone. I would not call that acting out. Only destructive actions would be labelled acting out. for me anyway. who knows. Just a guess. Sounds like you are figuring it out in therapy though..

Shannon said...

OOH sometimes I feel like strangling a towel.. LOL
you are soo sweet. I really appreciate all the support you share. Just wanted to say thanks. Hope you are having a great day and dont want to scream into a bowl of water

recoveryroad said...

Thanks for the kind and soothing words re anonymity and my wee rant. I think I'm over myself, just. Lol.

Thanks for helping me stay sober for another day.

Have a good weekend.

Kenny