We ALL suffer from hatred and delusion. The worst possible kind. Its part of the human condition. They don't go away as such. The trick is to have a compassionate, non judgmental awareness of these terrible weaknesses, and have the ability to go to any lengths to practice 'restraint of tongue and pen'. I learned the former by doing step 4 and 5, and the latter was a standard suggestion right from the earliest days in AA.
Robert Bly is very good at describing what's known as 'the shadow'. I got into all that in step 11. Its DARK! But it's ok, if you learn how to handle it!
But its also true that what you dwell on Is who you become, But we all have the option of free will, so we are at liberty at any time to try to maintain focus on the solution rather than the problem. That's a different issue.
You move towards, and become like, that which you think about, whether it is good for you, or bad for you
The more you think about the problem, the bigger the problem gets. The more you think about the solution, the bigger the solution gets.
These abilities became 'normal' for me as opposed to VERY HARD work, as a result of doing the first 9 steps. I wanted them LONG before then, but they only materialized when I completed the first 9 steps and maintained with 10, 11, 12 afterwards. "The lift is broken, please use the steps", as they say.
(Related Big Book quote)
"If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered LONG ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did NOT save us, NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE TRIED.
We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with ALL our might, BUT THE NEEDED POWER WASN'T THERE.
Our human resources, as marshaled by the will, WERE NOT SUFFICIENT: they FAILED UTTERLY." p45
All I know is my mind is INFINITELY more stable than it was before completion of the steps.
That said, it is ALSO true that my ability to be non judgmental with various 'nasty' mind states, means that by and large, these 'weaknesses, are NO BIG DEAL.
I really LOVE the 'NO BIG DEAL' mindset. Its just another way of saying, This is NOT a 'problem', this is NOT a drama. ..Now where's the solution?
- An Irish Friend of Bill
- I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Hatred and Delusion don't 'go away' as such. They just stop being an (alarming) BIG ! DEAL
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Hi, thanks for dropping by for a visit today. Living in the solution is hard sometimes but the alternative is not attractive.
Thanks for the post. I have to say "let the little things go" to myself several times a day.
Hugs and Kisse
Thanks for posting what I needed to read. I think your "NO BIG DEAL" mindset is something that I need to practice more. I keep telling myself that the best response to the J's in life is no response. Just move on and let it go.
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