About Me

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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Gonna kick the darkness till it bleeds daylight

'You can't control what comes into your head, but you CAN control how you deal with it'

'Right slap bang in the middle of a contradiction' was a phrase I heard Bono use in an interview, and I like these lyrics as an interpretation of where we can be in our heads, as we truly are POWERLESS over what comes into them. The only thing we can HOPE to control is how we decide to deal with it. I suppose I just love any description of the spiritual struggle toward recovery/enlightenment which includes all the ugly, disturbed bits of the mind. I'm just no good at wimpy, 'fluffy' spirituality. I like mine gritty and real. With all the lumps and bumps included! The other side of the spiritual life is equally real, the weird, peaceful, 'spaced out' part. But I get a bit annoyed when people only describe that one side of the coin, the 'wafty, esoteric' bit, when there is this other 'dark' side as well. Its what they call the 'shadow' if you ever get round to reading any Robert Bly. The shadow doesn't negate the positive aspects of the mind, but it IS there, and failure to acknowledge it can lead to all sorts of problems. I'm a strong believer in learning about shadow work in recovery. After step 9 anyway.
Who knows why I like what I do, but I do know I love this song, and it felt very satisfying to listen to it today on my ipod.
Because we are all in a constant, utterly uncontrollable state of change, the only thing we really can look to as being a constant in our lives is our higher power. I have always liked thinking of my higher power as love, (amongst other things), so these lyrics fit my concept of a HP.

U2 Lyrics: God Part II
Don't believe the devil, I don't believe his book
But the truth is not the same without the lies he made up
I don't believe in excess, success is to give
I don't believe in riches, but you should see where I live
I... I believe in love

Don't believe in forced entry, I don't believe in rape
But every time she passes by, wild thoughts escape
I don't believe in death row
skid row or the gangs
Don't believe in the Uzi, it just went off in my hands
I... I believe in love

Don't believe in cocaine, I got a speedball in my head
I could cut and crack you open... did you hear what I said?
Don't believe them when they tell me there ain't no cure
The rich stay healthy, the sick stay poor
I... I believe in love

I don't believe in Goldman, his type like a curse
Instant karma's gonna get him, if I don't get him first
I don't believe that Rock 'N Roll can really change the world
As it spins in revolution, spirals and turns
I... I believe in love

I don't believe in the 60's, in the golden age of pop
You glorify the past, when the future dries up
I heard a singer on the radio late last night
Says he's gonna kick the darkness till it bleeds daylight*
I... I believe in love

I feel like I'm falling
like I'm spinning on a wheel
It always stops beside a name, a presence I can feel
I... I believe in love
-for John Lennon

*Bruce Cockburn


Mike said...

Good posts, I am catching up after a long time snowed in and absent.

Thanks for being...

Shannon said...

intersting , dont know if I heard it... LOL oh well.

Hope you had a good friday!

Judith said...

Awesome post. I definitely relate better when spirituality is not all about the light stuff. I have too much darkness in myself, and it really alienates me if I can't talk about those aspects of me. Otherwise, I begin labeling myself as just "bad" and sometimes the darker aspects are just things that need some sunshine and examination to be understood.

You are very wise. Plus you like U2. Most excellent.

Pammie said...

thanks for this post. I've always been afraid to talk about nothing BUT the good stuff in sobriety, because I'm always afraid for the person (like me) who has the addict brain...thinking they are alone.

Gooey Munster said...

Loving this. U2 has been around for a while. They do great service work and have spiritual messages. I appreciate them.

It is all about truth, the good, the bad and the ugly. Thanx!

Recovery Road London said...

I've enjoyed your blog and your feedback and ides, even when I don't completely agree with you. It's been a pleasure.

Happy New Year and all the best for 2007.


Ginnie said...

Your post reminded me of two of my favorite sayings in AA:
1.) You can't control your first thought, but you can control your second...and how you handle it.
2.) Someone said to an old-timer, "You don't walk like you talk" and he replied, "You'd better be happy I don't walk like I think."
Thanks for stopping by my post. I like your AA approach...I, too, have been in a long time and have ideas that don't always jibe with the others (I live in the "Bible Belt" of North Carolina) but it's still OK. What an amazing program.

Carly said...

You have helped me tremendously in 2006. I wish you much love, sobriety and jOy in 2007!