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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

One of my favorite 'tricks' I use at the moment..

You know the term 'someone living rent free in your head?
You know when you have an unsatisfactory conversation, and leave it, only to continue the conversation in your head. Only this time imagining what you would have said DIFFERENT. So that you 'win' the argument?

Ok well this 'trick' is a bit like that. Its an imaginary conversation. Of sorts.

Sometimes when I haven't really figured out what's 'wrong'. I rehearse conversations in my head when I try to explain what is 'wrong'. This is really just for my benefit. Because I need to 'hear it out', to see what I make of it. Whether or not the 'disturbed part of me' is actually making any sense or not. When do this, I would describe the exchange as fairly exasperated. There's a lot of energy being used to try to get to the bottom of the thing. And because there is something that disturbs me or bothers me, the 'tone' of the voice I hear explaining itself, if often quite exasperated, or pitiful, or despairing. Anyway I just thought I would explain it as I want you to get a picture of what these 'inner conversations' are like.
When I have these conversations, I'm not sure who it is they are directed to. A understanding fair minded person perhaps? Nobody in particular. The motive is to make sense of the feelings I am experiencing.

My 'trick' is that I have the conversation described above, but that I switch the 'identity' of the person speaking my thoughts.

I imagine someone I love and admire / hold dear saying the things I AM CURRENTLY THINKING. My beliefs about myself and my life. Its like I'm observing a conversation except THEY are uttering the words I hear in my head. articulating MY thoughts.

I LOVE this 'trick'. I've been using it quite a lot lately. I find it very moving.

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