The trick is to not believe the anger even when it seems REALLY compelling. Sometimes the best I can do is stay away from conversation with the person I'm mad at till the 'dust settles' and I realize what an idiot I've been.
Restraint of tongue and pen is a VERY powerful practice. highly revered amongst Buddhist monastics. except they call it a 'precept'. their words for it are 'no harmful speech'. it is recognized amongst senior practitioners as being one of THE MOST DIFFICULT aspects of the practice to follow. this is why I have SO much respect for this AA 'instruction'.
If I 'failed' and regretted what I had said..
I would admit it was a foolish and inconsiderate thing to say, regardless of what prompted it, and that I would resolve not to speak in that fashion again.
Justifying 'harmful speech' AFTER the event in an attempt to save face:
Justifying behavior that others find unpleasant (even if you're right) makes others think that you will do it again in future, with a new justification. So I always try to avoid that if possible.
We ALL make STUPID mistakes!
About Me
- An Irish Friend of Bill
- I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.
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