About Me

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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

One off or Specialist/Sexual queries? Email a therapist!

Relate £22.50
Philip Hodson £47
Anna Raeburn. Free

Personally I have GREAT faith in spiritual principles as a solution to ALL my life problems. My AA programme has stood me in GREAT stead over the years and served as the FINEST introduction one could possibly ask for to life's very steep and unremitting learning curve!! Basically the spiritual 'apprenticeship' of the steps is a template you will use, again and again, in an informal way after step 9, to grow as a human being.
For instance, I am currently in the process of learning things about my life (at 18 years sober) which almost exactly mirror the learning curve I experienced with my sponsor in the early years of my recovery. Except this time its LIFE, not 'the steps' that I am 'doing'. I have the same issues of learning to trust, doubt in my ability to learn, and lack of faith as I had when I first joined AA. AA has taught me to show up, and do the next right thing, and go to any lengths, every day in order to get better in another area of my life. I am SO grateful for having had the experience of the steps 'in the bank' because otherwise I would find the messy business of growth confusing and overwhelming. I feel like I 'earned my stripes' in AA and now can understand 'the lay of the land' because of the journey I took from steps 1 to 9.
What I'm saying is that the highest, most sophisticated teachings I have stumbled across AFTER doing the first nine steps are ALWAYS a reflection in part in the process I went through with my sponsor on the journey from steps 1 to 9. What I mean is that the dynamic I experienced in the throes of the steps are repeated afterwards in the process of growing up. My first experience of these 'battles' was with the steps, but now they are familiar road signs on my journey of growth.
So it is in this spirit that I suggest the OPTION of having another source of referral or feedback.
So do not think that I consider 'professional feedback to be some sort of 'graduation' after step 9. Better than the steps or something. I don't. It is my opinion that spiritual principle are MUCH more powerful than ANY therapy. I'm just saying this can be used as a back up resource, or something to get specialist information.
For example. If I wanted to know what type of therapist to seek out for a sexually abused niece in Wales, who is 15, lets say. I would ask Philip Hodson. Because that is specialist information that I do not know.
Also sometimes these professionals are better at explaining how to practice (what I call spiritual principles) in relation to some other matter. So they are something you can avail yourself of, should you want additional feedback.
Personally, I find that just having the option of that feedback is a comfort in itself. More than the need to actually use it. Meaning its a comfort just knowing that it's there, even if you never actually use it. Its a psychological trick to make you feel safe, when you are experiencing doubt, more than anything.

By the way doubt is not a sign that something is wrong. It is a natural part of any spiritual path. Part of the business of becoming a 'spiritual warrior' for want of a better term is learning how to 'show up for life' and keep on keeping on despite being pulled this way and that by the energy of doubt. Doubt is a lesson in faith and going to any lengths in my opinion. I like to think that I can 'do' doubt, after 18yrs of practice!! It still feels really uncomfortable though!!
But if your sponsor insists that the only way to get well is to give them all your money and let them sleep with your (very cute) husband, then doubt in that instance is a very healthy sign that something is terribly wrong!!
As in ALL things, there is an exception to EVERY 'rule'.
Hahaaa. Good old doubt. One could write a whole chapter on it but I can't be bothered so I won't.

Relate web site says...
Relate webpage
Email a Counsellor lets you consult a Relate Counsellor online
All replies are written personally for you, and we aim to send a reply within 4 working days.
It costs just £22.50 to Email a Counsellor and get a personal reply. Each follow-on email and reply also costs £22.50.

Phillip Hodson website says...
Philip Hodson Webpage
Cheques should be sent in advance to PO BOX 29742 LONDON NW3 1FF. replies are usually sent within 48 hours.
Subjects are not limited but may include anything to do with love, sex, marriage, relationships, emotions, bereavement, divorce, dating, gender identity, sexual orientation, transvestism, difficulties with attachment/detachment, childhood/teenage, managing adolescents, parenting in general, time management issues, phobias, eating disorders, panic attacks, depression, borderline personality difficulties, erectile disorder, female orgasmic dysfunction, ejaculation problems and loss of libido.

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