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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Being a Control freak is NOT Spiritual

Self Centerdness and the 'actor trying to run the show'

Chapter 5. HOW IT WORKS page 60
Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show;
is forever trying to arrange the lights,
the ballet,
the scenery
and the rest of the players
If his arrangements would only stay put,
if only people would do as he wished,
the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased.
Life would be wonderful.

In trying to make these arrangements
our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous.
He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing.
On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest.
But, as with most humans,
he is more likely to have varied traits.

What usually happens?
The show doesn't come off very well.
He begins to think life doesn't treat him right.
He decides to exert himself more.
He becomes, on the next occasion,
still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be.

Admitting he may be somewhat at fault,
he is SURE that other people are more to blame.
He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying.

What is his basic trouble?
Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind?

Is he not a victim of the DELUSION
that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world
if he only manages well?

Is it not evident to all the rest of the players
that these are the things he wants?

And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate,
snatching all they can get out of the show?

Is he not, even in his best moments,
a producer of confusion rather than harmony?

As a very cool old timer used to say...
'It was very simple. when i didn't get MY WAY, I copped a resentment'

Self Centredness (the desire to have things OUR WAY)
is a MASSIVE character defect
and plays a VERY significant part in forming our Resentments.

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