About Me

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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Sunday, November 24, 2019

Just checking in.. apologies for neglecting to post..

My goodness how time flies.
I wonder how many of the old bloggers are still around. How many are still going..
It’s good to see that Syd is still posting at http://fine-anon.blogspot.com/  he is very diligent at posting on a regular basis.
I have not got much to say about recovery except I should explain I suppose that I am still not drinking and not taking any mind bending drugs.  .as has been the case as I first came to AA all those years ago.
 I only recently discovered that lot of AA members medicate / relapse using drugs from their Narcotics Anonymous end of the spectrum  and keep going to AA meetings saying that they are still sober. It would never cross my mind to say I was sober if I had been smoking pot all weekend or had relapsed on some kind of drug. But this seems to be what a lot of people do for some reason. Very strange. I don’t see any distinction between getting drunk or getting high. They’re both medicating ones emotional state by using mind altering substances. There was never any distinction between getting high or drunk when I was new. But for some reason some AAs keep coming to meetings saying that they are sober when they’ve been relapsing every other week on some drug. Go figure.
As usual there’s always tons of people in the first five years and a massive shortfall at the 10 year mark. It would be great if they all stayed sober indefinitely but sadly they don’t. Still there’s nothing I can do about that I just make myself available to people who are willing to go to any lengths and take suggestion. Even though there seems to be a very small number willing to do that. And the relapse rates reflect that tendency.
Recovery was never terribly popular. Most want to do half measures and there is absolutely nothing I can do to change that.
I find increasingly as I become a tinier and tinier minority in groups dominated by people full of confidence.. five years sober who very rarely make it to 10 years..  that the Al-Anon principles are terribly important in my recovery. Meaning coming to terms with the wreckage in meetings  and all the people who are not willing to go to any lengths.  Most of my time is spent letting other people crash and burn who think they can do half measures or the easier softer way.  I have to resist the urge to intervene when I can see the writing on the wall. It’s something I always did but I will only help people who ask me for help.  AA works on attraction not promotion and if they don’t want it then I must let nature take its course. I would actually be interfering with their recovery if I tried to save them from the inevitable relapse. They say carry the message not the mess. But it’s knowing really when to sit on one’s hands and say nothing when you know the person you’re watching crash and burn has not got the gift of desperation, and does not want to go to any lengths, and thinks they still can beat it on their own terms. So I can see the value of Al-Anon now. And I don’t think I am nearly as proficient at practising its principles than the Al-Anon’s but I am working at getting there.

But yes as the years progress ageing is hard work. Working against the inertia of the body and keeping energy levels reasonable isn’t easy.. Replacing old activities with new ones.. all the adjustments. Everybody I know tinkers with their diet endlessly. Various shades of ketogenic diets  and reduced carbohydrates seems to be what most people end up doing. It’s all a work in progress basically.  Thank God recovery is very forgiving as far as ageing is concerned. Everybody I know in recovery looks a lot younger than their real age.

But I hope that the Christmas and New Year period is going to be all right for you and your close ones. And if it isn’t, I hope that the meetings work their magic as they tend to do. 
..My writing feels very rusty because it’s such a long time since I posted here. 
Thank God for the meetings in the programme. Everything else changes.. people disappear. The meetings change dramatically. And all you’ve got left hold onto is your own programme.. The meetings and the Fellowship. And of course the newcomers. I always bump into the occasional old-timer that I haven’t seen for a long time. But  I am keenly aware that it is me who is the old timer now. And although I really like bumping into people who are longer sober than me I just very rarely meet them. They are out there and I enjoy speaking to them.. It’s just I have to make a bigger effort to get hold of them.

 It doesn’t matter what I learn it always ends up that I reach the conclusion that AA said it first. So I love AA. It’s still delivers. And I have not found any bogus bits yet.  I’m still just as busy now as I was back in the day. I love learning new stuff so I’m always expanding my understanding. At the moment I’m an Al-Anon in training..  Among other things.  I always have a shopping list as long as my arm about all the things I want to learn..  Whether it’s to do with learning how to live a spiritual life or whatever.
 So it never ends. lol

I know it’s coming up to Christmas and a lot of people find that period very difficult. When I was very new I just went to lots and lots of meetings. That’s how I stayed reasonably sane. I love to avoid lots of the Christmas fuss. That’s just me. I’m not saying that’s right it’s just what I do. I just treat it as just another day.  I do go out and do things but it’s in the most low-key way possible.

All I can say is for all the people who are new that the only way I got sober was by giving up the idea that I knew best and taking on board another person’s suggestions who I checked out very carefully before I asked them to help me. Where I live a lot of people just ask the first friendly face they see to sponsor them and often that person has a very weak grasp of recovery, and they end up with a very watered-down programme which doesn’t keep them sober. I think a lot of people might be treating AA like some sort of social club or something.  it’s a lot trendier than it was when I was new. So  A lot of people go there and talk to people and treat it like a social club and then wonder why they relapse.. yup..  times have changed.

Well I hope December is all right for you. It makes a lot of people stressed and depressed where I live. Hence my avoidance of a lot of the events around that time. I do like all the meetings that they hold on Christmas day.
 As usual I’ve written far too much so sorry for waffling.

The email that I set up with this blog doesn’t work anymore.. They discontinued the service.. so I apologise if you sent an email and then wondered why you haven’t heard from me. I can respond to the messages on the blog but the email stopped working years ago. I tried to recover the email address but they weren’t having any of it lol.. 

In the meantime the very best to you..  keep on trudging that road. I will make an effort to visit the blogs and be a more neighbourly blogger :)