What (free) stuff I'm listening to. Amongst other things.. Adyashanti

I love this !!!!! sooo much at the moment. Can't !! stop listening to it on my ipod. :)
The free basic teaching talks are ! excellent. But yes, I have bought some mp3's as well. Can't get enough of this at the moment. Love it to bits. I wonder what thing will be next?
Anyway I thought I would just include a reference to the free basic talks, as they pretty much cover 98% of the teaching anyway. Thats it.
I'm not going to go on about it as this one involves having to part with cash. Which I don't want to encourage people to do really. i prefer to mention free stuff only. I spend money on technology and esoteric stuff, so thats my weakness. My curiosity gets the better of me. Normally I lend people my CD's so that they can listen to the mp3's, but thats harder to do when we are not meeting each other in the AA meeting down the road, (!) but if you email me I'll see what I can do.
Hope you had a nice weekend :)
Full moon tonight!! Awesome :) I LOVE the full moon..

Here are links to the free talks on the basic teachings..? if you are interested. if not. Thats fine too :)
The Basic Teachings ~ Part 1....Principles of the Teaching
http://www.adyashanti.org/cafedharma/index.php?file=video
The Basic Teachings ~ Part 2 ...Application of the Teaching
http://www.adyashanti.org/cafedharma/index.php?file=video

Wonderful old timers and dodgy old timers

Good morning. I woke up far too early, so I thought about posting something before I go out. I can't think of anything particularly useful to say at the moment. Perhaps I haven't had enough tea and coffee.

Someone else posted this video which is a clip from the film Amongst White Clouds and I liked it so much I thought I would post the you tube link and mention it here. It's right up my street! I love that kind of stuff. Also I found the whole film is viewable online on http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5902279151658995270#

It's been a bit strange catching up a very tiny bit with some people in AA. Like returning to some dysfunctional family. I confess I am a little disappointed with a few members, but what do you expect? They are alcoholics after all, so one shouldn't be entirely surprised if they make some strange (!) life choices. I don't mean that in a bible-belt kind of way. I mean that in a quite deeply disturbing kind of way.

Well if it tells me anything, it confirms to me that step 11 is mandatory. And that (in my interpretation anyway) all hell breaks loose when members who have been sober a long time do not do step 11. I don't think I have actually met any longtime sober person who doesn't do step 11 who has 'got what I want'. Take heed, as they say. The next time I have free time to sponsor somebody, if I really want to achieve as much as I can in the shortest possible time, I will be looking to sponsor people who have what I call a predisposition towards step 11. But step 11 on its own is worthless as well. Step 11 is only really useful once you have cleaned house adequately using the first nine steps.

Perhaps I am very deluded, but I can honestly say that I'm extraordinarily grateful for the path I have been shown in recovery. There are not nearly enough AA members in my locality who have 'got what I want'. Of course I like them. I can't help liking alcoholics. But my favourite old-timer is still one of the only people that really makes sense to me. He is not around any more. But I am extraordinarily grateful for his example. You have no !!!! idea how lucky ! I was to be able to attend his home group for so many years. I have been !!! extraordinarily lucky in my recovery. I could not have asked for more spectacular AA members to learn from. And when I went on to practice step 11 in earnest by visiting very highly regarded Buddhist practitioners, I also stumbled across some spectacularly inspiring examples. The one I never met in person was Ajahn Chah. But I have been in the presence of his statue which contains some of his relics and it felt like I was in the same room as him. But then people like him are a kind of one-off. Very very unusual human beings in every respect. I tend to believe they are born that way, but who Knows. I'm in no position to tell because of my inability to understand these things.

I'd better get going otherwise I'll be late. But basically I owe my life to the kindness of people who, on the face of it knew me the least, but in reality knew me better than all the other people who I'd spent most of my lifetime with. What I mean it is not be number of conversations you have with somebody that determines how well they know you. It's got nothing to do with that. It's absolutely about their capacity to understand the human condition. If they have that in spades, then it's completely irrelevant how many conversations you have with them. Their capacity to understand is not dependent upon acquiring all the details of your history. They are amazing. I love Those people. Thank God they exist.

What I suppose I mean is that for some reason today I am very conscious of the wonderful human beings I have been lucky enough to learn from in AA and in my step 11 forays. Not only did I meet some amazing people, but I was lucky enough to be willing to learn from their example at the time, which is something I can't say the same about others who were there the time, who have gone down a different road entirely since then. I am completely baffled why some longtime sober people have chosen what I consider to be thoroughly compromised, empty and unsatisfying, and ultimately damaging lives. Who knows. I couldn't stand it myself. It would be unbearable, unless I had the ability to not care, or not feel anything.

It's none of my business, and I'll just have to leave it at that. Instead of focusing on people who haven't 'got what I want', I need to focus on creating the fellowship I crave, which means focusing on finding the people I think I can help the most and investing my mental energies in them, so that in years to come there will be nicer old-timers around than there are at present. Even the dodgiest old-timer has something good to offer if they go through the basics with a newcomer, but I'd like AA to be a better place than that. I have no idea whether or not it will make any difference but there's no harm in trying. That's all I can do.

Anyway, have a ! lovely Sunday. It's gorgeous over here :) Warm and lovely..

FadeText: Put your favorite slogans into a screensaver on your desktop (Macs only)

This is for Macs only I'm afraid, but its freeware and I'm sure there is a PC software that does the same thing.
I found this. I love slogans but forget them easily so like to be reminded. This screensaver (if you have a Mac) is freeware, so no cost which is nice :)

Its called fadetext and you can download it from here..

Anyway hope you all are well and dealing elegantly with all the very un-elegant (!!) things that life has a habit of throwing at you :)
I'm up to my EARS in a new year of study. Different from last year. HARD!! I am in the process of figuring out how to ?? keep up with the relentless !! pile of new stuff. :)
So yeah, that's what I'm up to. Hence the silence online. When I have !!!! tons of stuff to do I don't want to go to many meetings because I feel I never have enough time to study, but I just end up getting stressed and not actually being very productive because I can't settle on any one thing. So its swings and roundabouts. The hardest thing about study is not getting freaked out by it. The subject itself isnt so bad, but the mind games are pretty relentless. It feels very overwhelming starting a pile of new material in a more demanding format.

Us AA's wear our hearts on our sleeve. We verbalize our anxieties and broadcast how difficult it seems, while most others keep all this to themselves so you get a lopsided view of how you are doing compared to everyone else. Its hard to get a handle on how you are doing in relation to everyone else and if I am doing enough.

I know enough to know that I always fear utter defeat and that this has proved to be baseless in the past, but each time it feels the same no matter how many times I get it right. My brain is hardwired to anticipate failure. I'm not sure there is a cure for this as no amount of reassurance from others or previous success seems to make any difference. Other old-timers with TONS of success have told me they feel the same..
I just have to keep on keepin on and not listen to what my head tells me, or mistake my fears and anxieties for any kind of reality, present or future.

Ie FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS

Whatever. Another ! roller-coaster of a year begins. !!!! Thank god I know enough to not listen to my head!
I seem to swing between fear that makes me very restless and concentration difficult, and complacency!! I would like to inhabit the middle ground, but until that happens, I will have to just not listen to what my head tells me :)

I have been watching videos of Ajahn Chah on Utube
to help chill me out a bit :) What a cool guy :) He looks GREAT in Videos. So free. So unfettered. There is no 'burden'. He is full of joy. Thank god for these living examples as otherwise I would have no clue ! what I was trying to achieve.. Step 11 always points me in the right direction. It gives me an example of the things I learned about in AA. Here Ajahn Chah shows me what 'happy joyous and free' looks like. This is useful as there are not nearly enough examples in the world to learn this from. BTW the video called The Buddha Comes to Sussex - Part 1 and 2 is very cool. I love monks and nuns :)

Here's a quote
Venerable Ajahn Chah "The mind of one who practises doesn't run away anywhere, it stays right there. Good, evil, happiness and unhappiness, right and wrong arise, and he knows them all. The meditator simply knows them, they don't enter his mind. That is, he has no clinging. He is simply the experiencer." - Ajahn Chah

Anyway thanks for listening and hope you have a great Tuesday :)

Indescribably wonderful (p17, AA Big Book)

Nottingham University Campus: Thich Nhat Hanh UK Retreat 2008, originally uploaded by Irish friend of Bill.

"there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful." (p17, AA Big Book)

"We have entered the world of the Spirit." (p83, AA Big Book)

I have no idea how to describe the Thich Nhat Hanh retreat so I'm not even going to try.
Thank GOD, once again it provided me with more answers, more guidance, more insight. I rely completely on stuff like this.
I have no idea how people manage without it. It was magical and special, as usual.

The reason I'm not posting much these days is because I have been using the summer break to try to really get to grips with the talks by Munindo and Amaro. I am really trying to understand the suggested path they are proposing.
What I am finding out, is that it is a very subtle and carefully constructed plan, spanning from heart wisdom and indefinable places. Basically I cannot explain it.
And thankfully I don't have to because Munindo and Amaro do such a fantastic job. My explanation is not required. But yes, I am struggling to grasp what they are saying. I love it, but am very much a beginner in this subject so I find it very hard to remember. I keep forgetting bits and so I keep having to go back over it. Not sure if I am stupid or it is just a very subtle teaching.
Whatever. It is my FAVORITE path at the moment. It makes more sense than all the others. For the time being anyway. Its a weird one.
Very similar and yet very different to AA. More paradoxes than you can shake a stick at. But seriously great. So that's where my brain is at, and has been at most of the summer.
Its hard! Seems much harder than my term time study! But I think I'm addicted.
2 other AA's came along and really loved it. Whatever. Its pointless trying to explain this in words. Its one of those things that doesn't really make sense unless you actually GO. Same as meetings basically. You could never explain a meeting to somebody who had never been. Well retreats with this type of rare individual are very similar. Doesn't really reveal itself to you, till you SHOW UP. Shame, but there you go..

Anyway. There is a very senior Lama (Khensur Lobsang Tenzin Rinpoche) teaching over a three week period in the Jamyang Centre quite soon. I suggest you book very quickly as they sell out faster than hot cakes.

Also I am strongly tempted to attend a retreat with Sogyal Rinpoche as I have never seen 'Crazy Wisdom' in action ,and I think I might like it. It is a less formally restrained type of teaching. I like to think I have adopted a less restrained approach with sponsees so I might find his style of teaching very interesting.
Whatever. I have enough to be getting on with. A heavy duty academic year kicking off in three weeks. Head down till May basically.
Oh well.

But yeah I am a very blissed out bunny at the moment. Very happy with my 'education' into meditation practice over the summer.
Basically I don't watch TV. I very rarely listen to the radio. I only listen to music to keep me awake or during exercise, and the rest of the time I am listening to Amaro and Munindo. So im kindof getting in the groove, and want to hang on to it by maintaining what I have learned for as long as I can. Its SO easy to let this stuff slip.
I've started sitting for a mere 30mins in the morning and I have to say it is a blessed relief. Wonderful. But there you go.
I'm blissed out. I just want to listen to dharma talks and get 'in (and stay in) the zone. We shall see.

Oh yeah. And just as many mountains to climb as ever. I am still (aren't we all?) trying to figure out ways around my negative mental habits. Nothing changes! But I ! love the way it feels at the moment.
I am SO grateful for those recorded talks. That's all I can say. I've ordered DVDs of Thich Nhat Hanh retreat so that will remind me if I've forgotten anything..

Have a great Thursday!

Had a great time thanks

Dalai Lama's chair at the end of a 5 day teaching in Nottingham 08, originally uploaded by Irish friend of Bill.

Hope you guys are well and dandy. Thanks for popping by and offering encouragement and support. Its appreciated!
I had a great ! time in Nottingham though I'm not sure I did the initiation the justice it deserved, but thankfully my lousy best is good enough. I saw some AA's there and that made it all the more enjoyable as we were able to compare stories on how blissed out we were feeling by the whole thing. It makes all the difference when you get to share an event like that with other AAs. They hadn't been to see him before and they were blown away. It was really cool. Its something that only really makes sense when you see him in person. Gawd knows what it is, but it is really cool. You kindof want to adopt him or something at the end of the teaching!

I'm resting my brain for a bit, but I worry my brain will lose its edge if I don't keep learning new stuff. I think the exams were ok, but not in the ? High end of the scale. Alright but nothing dramatic in terms of impressive grades. We shall see when the results come out I guess.

I learned a lot about how to eat well to stay awake for long periods of time. That was interesting. I have a 'routine' of exam food now.
So yeah. Just relaxing at the moment. Watching POINTLESS films such as sex in the city, Indiana Jones, forgetting Sarah Marshall, and am now a bit bored of films..
Anyway I've got catching up of general stuff to do and usual life stuff to be getting on with, so I'm trying (!) to get all that back on track. Neglected gym, grooming etc, so I've no shortage of stuff to do and I want to prepare for term in otcober during the summer if I can summon up the discipline.
In the meantime its trips to the hairdressers, and getting back to a neglected home and work routine. So I'm not realy in a blogging mood at the moment. I've got to make decisions about October, make applications for further training and find out what grades are needed for different types of applications. Ie what the top end of the scale requires, and what the more mainstream applications expect. I dare say it changes year to year. Probably gets higher!
Programme stuff is just plodding along in the background so to speak. I have nothing new to say, or else I am too focused on sorting out study queries to think about AA stuff at the moment.
Plus is too ! sunny to think about anything meaningful at the moment! Weather is ! gorgeous and for once in a long time I am well rested, and have a little free time to indulge myself with, which can only be a good thing. So hope you all have are having a great time and if I can think of anything useful to add here I will, but my head is still swimming with study issues that need to be resolved this summer. Until I have figured that stuff out, I will be fairly preoccupied I think..
Hope your Wednesday is as good as the one over here is looking!

GREAT 7 min summary by Ken Wilber of Step 11 goals

Ken Wilber REALLY knows his subject, and he is a useful model for the likes of us (un-ordained 'normies') in that he has chosen NOT to live a monastic life, thereby showing us 'normal folks' that it IS possible to develop a spiritually committed practice AND go to work, have relationships, and pay the bills etc. Yeah I know he's a bit unusual, but it still serves as a useful example that you don't HAVE to live in a monastery to have a SERIOUS practice.

Yeah I know what he's saying sounds a bit pretentious if you're not used to hearing this kind of stuff, but this is what you would be 'taught' on any good step 11 retreat. But there are not many teachers as competent or available as Mr Wilber.
What can I say? I like him. But that's just me.
Mind you, don't envy having to deal with all that ego cr*p that goes with being such a well known teacher. You need to work pretty had on not letting the ego get out of hand. Yuk! I find the ego really Unattractive.
Whatever.

But yeah. I posted this because he as managed to summarize the core teaching of any mindfulness training in less than 5 minutes.
(Well 7 mins and 48 seconds actually)
!!
Amazing.
And I think he is able to do it in such a way that doesn't make it sound like airy fairy sh*te, or long winded mumbo jumbo.
But hey, that's why he's one of the best teachers around.
I've hardly read any of his books. They seem a bit too technical for me. But I read 'Grace and Grit' about how his first love (wife) died of breast cancer really young. Amazing story. Great if you are struggling with being a a carer of some sort or are dealing with illness.

But yeah. This is the meat and potatoes of any mindfulness training. He describes it better than I can. Think of it as a 'postcard' from the shores of step 11, for those of you that have yet not paid a visit to a decent retreat centre.

Step 11 is SO cool. It is like the finishing touch to the jigsaw. You can do it anytime, but is MUCH more revealing once you 'clear the decks' with the help of the first 9 steps.

By the way if what he says seems FAR too complicated, Eckhart Tolle says the SAME thing in the power of now but makes it sound simpler. Just takes longer to explain, thats all!
Right off to the gym!!!!
Have a great Thursday!

TONS of Eckhart Tolle on Utube. If you are interested..

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle Audiobook
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle Audiobook
(Oh yeah and you can get all these things straight from the iTunes store as well in case you don't already know.)

I have just discovered that there are LOADS of talks on Utube by Eckhart Tolle, so it's a FREE way of finding out what he teaches. Here is a little talk on being ordinary, as opposed to being 'special and different'. (as us AA's like to call it..)
I LOVE !!!!! 'Ordinariness'. For want of a better word. Its SO refreshing! And uncommon.
Watching him speak and his use of gestures and expressions is very interesting as I often resort to posture and expression as a way of communicating a mind state that it is VERY difficult to explain WELL by words alone.

In this clip he also pretends to be someone who is 'stuck in their head' as I like to call it. Which he calls somebody who has a lot of 'mental noise' going on.

He then goes on to 'show' how acceptance to things, such as mental noise or unhappiness COMPLETELY CHANGES the way that 'thing' is being experienced. That's what acceptance is. But he makes it quite understandable. He relates acceptance to surrender. All words we AA's are familiar with.
I must say I do like this guy. I LOVE it when people aren't too serious. I think people who are not monks and nuns can afford to be a little bit 'looser' in the way they communicate. Meaning they do not need to be on their 'best behavior' all the time.
Right gotta go! LOVELY sun over this way today!

VERY Highly Recommended. Eckhart Tolle Audio books. 'Power of Now' and 'New Earth'

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle Audiobook
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle Audiobook
(Oh yeah and you can get all these things straight from the iTunes store as well in case you don't already know.)

An alcoholic with a more advanced appreciation than myself, of the function of Step 11, gave me a copy of the above titles the other day, and I must say it's good stuff! Thanks J!
Here is a list of the audio books by Eckhart Tolle on Amazon for your reference. In case you are interested..

I have this on ongoing repeat play on itunes in the kitchen, (makes a nice change from lectures..) and on shuffle on my ipod player in the bedroom. (all night when I sleep) When I'm roaming about I'm plugged into my ipod, so basically I'm listening to this LOADS.
I leave stuff on all the time in the background. Don't know why. I just do. (Hmm.. Avoiding study perhaps? ..Heheh)
TV is for wimps! Heheh. Well see I don't really watch TV and I only put low speech radio on to provide low background noise. Music is for running, gym and cleaning up, and staying awake when I VERY tired.
Books are COOL. I am not very !!! Good at reading, but I am better at listening. Books tend to get neglected. But I cant ignore stuff that is playing.
I really like it. Its filled in gaps and put together bits I did not see were connected.
I can see that it might seem confusing for someone that is still very caught up in their ? illness before step 9. As really a much more pragmatic approach is needed until the psyche stabilizes after step 9.

Having said that, if it doesn't freak you out or confuse you, I think it is FINE to listen to this type of stuff whenever really. Only YOU will know if this is 'doing your head in' or not. If it is, then shelve it till after step 9. If not, just give it a listen but PUT NO PRESSURE ON YOURSELF TO GRASP THE WHOLE NINE YARDS for the time being. Just listen to it 'lightly'. Don't get anxious about the bits that don't make sense, just take the bits that make sense and don't worry about the rest. Oh yeah and don't do something DRASTIC based on something you heard without checking with another human being first!! You know. Basic common sense stuff really.

When I listen to stuff like this, I have no conflict whatsoever between this and AA ? doctrine. Its all one thing. This is a exposition of step 11 and a guide to 'practicing these principles in all or affairs'. That's all. How to be more honest. How to do GOOD step 10's and see though your own BS. Through to what is REALLY important. The bit behind all the pointless ego battles.
He talks a lot about the BS of the ego. I see this is a more detailed description of what AA describes as self centeredness (self obsession/ ego) and the drama we constantly act out as 'the actor running the show'. The thing that creates suffering.
Only yeah, he frames that argument within a ? Existential view of the world in a non dual way. Meaning its all one thing. Whatever. I think its good. There's no point in me trying to explain it really. I just tried so that you might get a rough idea what its about and why I like it.
But its good s**t! Trust me!

Also it is FULL of GREAT advice on relationships, how to get stuff done, and ! all sorts! Cool!
Don't think that this kind of stuff means AA is c*ap or a 'second class' version of spirituality. It is not. AA is very VERY cool, WHEN USED TO GOOD EFFECT. I don't see it as 'second class',in the SLIGHTEST. I just like this more detailed explanation as a way to add a depth of understanding to the largely EXPERIENTIAL lessons AA has taught me. So there you go. (Just in case you thought I was dismissing the AA spirituality...)

Right well I'm off. Have a great Tuesday!
I have to do some study now! Yipes!

Deep Deep Joy!

Dalai Lama Ticket May 2008, originally uploaded by Irish friend of Bill.

Deep Joy.
Block FBC is the second !! block from the front. The front block is full of die hard ninja types and monks. Religious types and what have you. So I will be near all them. VERY VERY cool. I cannot WAIT.
Early bird gets a seat near the front!!
Hehee
!! Excited now!!

I just LOVE this stuff. Even though most of it goes RIGHT over my head. !!! I can't WAIT. I LOVE this stuff. Don't know why. I just DO.
Anyway. Have a GREAT Friday y'all!

Karma 'Speeds up': Things coming to a head. Things coming to FRUITION.

Ancient Statue of a Bodhisattva in Room 33 of the British Museum, originally uploaded by Irish friend of Bill.

Things coming to FRUITION.
Ripening to their inevitable outcome FASTER.

One of the things I tell people who start doing (what I consider to be GOOD) Step 11 practice. With powerful energetic Teachers. (As not all have very strong energy.)

(By the way you can empower yourself by practicing 'constant thought of others, maximum helpfulness' but that's another story.)

Here is a passage from Step 12 section of a guy from my homegroup about how we were 'taught' Step 12.
"AA Service
RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING in AA, we should start trying to adopt AN ATTITUDE OF SERVICE and a what-can-I-contribute approach IN ALL AREAS OF OUR LIVES However, for the alcoholic, it is VITAL that this should include PARTICULARLY (!!) passing on the message of AA’s programme of recovery on to suffering alcoholics.
This can take a variety of forms, direct or indirect, and can be aimed at both alcoholics who are already in AA in the AA group; and those who are outside AA and yet to stop through the Intergroup and General Service structures and even just as we go about our daily lives. The chapter Working With Others in the Big Book is the primary source for guidance here. The Twelve Traditions are invaluable to us in our consideration of how best to carry the message."
This is from the website called miseryisoptional.info

Anyway I digress. As !!! Usual.
Ok .
If you have been 'zapped' by a GOOD step 11
OR
If you have been 'zapped' by EFFECTIVELY helping newcomers.

THEN
You effectively have generated a TON of extra 'energy'.
This has the effect of 'cooking' you FASTER.

So,
The water reaches the boil FASTER than it would ordinarily.
Mind states change more frequently.
Insight occurs more often.
The penny drops more often.
The veil is lifted more often.
Our emotions evolve more often.
The 'furniture in our head' is rearranged more often.

Basically EVERYTHING SPEEDS UP.
NOTHING stays the same!
Its a bit of a rollercoaster ride to be honest. Hold onto your hats!

The furniture thing. Let me explain.
Ok.
Its like you went to bed with all the furniture in the usual place.
Then you got up in the middle of the night to have a pee.
And none of he furniture is in the same place it was yesterday. And you keep bumping into things.
Some stuff is new and you're not sure where you got it.
Other stuff you can't find.
Other stuff you don't even notice was missing till years later.

Well that's what its like IN YOUR HEAD AND YOUR EMOTIONS when you are on a FUNCTIONING Spiritual path.
Well that's what I think anyway. No offence if you know what I mean.

Right I'll get to the point if it kills me!
Reality is in a constant state of flux and IMPERMANENCE is the Hallmark of reality.,
Everything is whirling around at the speed of light. Changing in a nano second.
Reality is very PLASTIC. Hinges on a thought, Hangs on one tiny action.
Its very fragile. Like a butterflies wing. And can change at a moments notice.

"And I'm a million different people from one day to the next"
The Verve. Bittersweet Symphony

Very true. Richard Ashcroft was more accurate than he realized.
Anyway.
Scary huh?
Most of us don't see this very much, because we are too busy hiding in our comfort zones and HABITUAL thinking.
Auto pilot basically. To give us the ILLUSION of stability. Heheh. No such thing!
Reality is MUCH more scary than that. MUCH more delicate and precarious. MUCH more random. Being honest with oneself of the true nature of things is not a 'comfort'. The comfort comes from ACCEPTING that this is how it is. Just making peace with it.Getting used to the sand shifting under your feet constantly.

Anyway! Before I go on for !!!!! Ever!
My POINT IS
Increasing your ? energetic condition, by either (properly) helping others, or doing (a good) step 11 moves you CLOSER to this reality.
Its like you moved closer to the 'fire' and you can feel the 'heat' more.
Things start moving around quicker.
Synchronicity kicks in.
Things just happen at the right time.
The right people show up.
You hear what you need to hear.
You get what you need. Even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.

But IN ADDITION to that.
Things that 'aren't quite right'.
Guess what happens to them?
Yep!
Like I said before.
First you get a pebble.
Then you get a Brick.
Then you get a BOULDER!

Well when you are 'tuned in' and the spiritual path is 'working'
The Boulder comes FASTER
Sometimes MUCH FASTER

Its the law of consequences. Or Karma.
Karma is just another word for the 'fruition' of ones actions.

If I eat a cake every day. Eventually I will get fat. That's a KARMIC CONSEQUENCE of that action.
So don't think I'm being vague here. I'm not. I just like using the word karma to describe this thing. Its the same as consequence.

Why does the boulder come faster?
Well its like God decided to put you in th 'A' Stream instead of the usual 'D' stream.
See. You are no longer a Spiritual 'Nancy', so God figures he can 'up the stakes' with you a bit.
So its cool really. Means you have 'upped' a grade. Well that's how I see it.

By the way, this is NOT to be confused with people who experience CRISIS after CRISIS because their lives are hopelessly unmanageable. This has an ENTIRELY different quality to it.
This will ONLY happen to people who are SINCERELY trying to help others OR doing a GOOD step 11.
Meaning, if you are just some sort of a git, and make crummy choices, then yeah, the s*it WILL hit the fan. But that's not the same thing.
This has MUCH more of a flavor of SYNCHRONICITY about it.
So no. If you are not sincere, or your motives are ego feeding rather than to be of service, then its a different ball of wax.

I don't have time to give examples.
Heres one.
Sometimes the karmic consequence occurs SECONDS after the thought occurs.
I used to ALWAYS ALWAYS pay my travel fares.
One day for some ? Reason I forgot to buy more bus tickets.
THE MOMENT I realized I didn't have a travel pass that included the current day. (It had expired)
THE THOUGHT OCCURRED TO ME that I could just stay in the bus and not buy a new ticket before I got off.
The bus journey was 5 minutes tops.
I was tempted to not pay.
THE MOMENT I thought. Yeah why not. I'm only going to be on the bus for a few more minutes. Its too much hassle to get off the bus and get a new one. Ill be late for work anyway if I do. What the hell, I'll get a new pass when I get off later in the day.
DISHONEST.

GUESS WHAT HAPPENED
About 1 minute AFTER HAVING THAT THOUGHT
A ticket inspector got on. And started checking tickets.
As the bus was waiting to go off. I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO GET OFF THE BUS and buy a new one or else stay on and get a 10 pound fine. Or whatever it is that these guys do. Gawd knows.
Ok. To put this in context.
I went to that job for nearly ? 5 years.
Every day I got the bus 2-3 stops on the way there. 5 days a week.
Guess how often I saw a ticket inspector on the Bus during those 5 years?
ONCE.
Guess how often I THOUGHT about not paying my fare over those 5 years?
ONCE.
How much Step 11 was I doing then?
LOADS. With really cool people.

So there you go. Too long as usual! No change there!
I will have to do some more examples on another post.

DO YOU SEE WHY I BELIEVE WHAT WE THINK IS SO !! IMPORTANT?
There are plenty other examples. But I quite like that one. It was REALLY fast.
The boomerang came back WITHIN SECONDS.
So yeah. You have to stay on your toes if you plan on 'growing along spiritual lines'
Well that's what I think anyway.

Basically its all about MOTIVE.
So make yours 'For the benefit of all sentient beings' which is just another way of saying 'Maximum helpfulness'. Or "The greatest good for the greatest number'.
Its the BEST motive money can buy. If you ask me.

Anyway. Have a GREAT Thursday.
Sorry if that sounds a bit freaky or odd. Its just the mood I am in today. Whatever.
Please IGNORE it if it does your head in. Or ? it doesn't agree with you for some other reason.
See y'all!

15th Century Statue of the Bodhisattva Vajrasattva in Room 33 of the British Museum

15th Century Statue of the Bodhisattva Vajrasattva in Rm 33 British Museum, originally uploaded by Irish friend of Bill.

This is something for those that are planning on taking the The Vajrasattva Initiation in Nottingham, May 2008 with the Dalia Lama
I find it helpful to 'get to know' the ? Deities in question before I take an initiation. I was drawn to this statue the other day before I heard that the Dalai Lama was doing an initiation next year in May 2008. I nipped in toady in passing to see if there were any Vajrasattva statues in the museum and sure enough. There he/she/it was!!
Cool. Anyway Pictures work for me, so here is a pic of the 15th Century Statue from Nepal. The words underneath are the short form Mantra, which invokes the Deity. But you may be required to have an initiation before you actually use it. (!) Not sure. Haven't done my research yet. Some you do, some you don't. It is always wise to repeat these things respectfully, and that your motive for using them always be 'For the good of all sentient beings'. As opposed to some other motive.
Whatever. Hope you find the picture helpful, if you plan on attending next year. I just did it to help me get to know ? It better.

Its a really lovely statue. So many beautiful artifacts in Room 33..I LOVE that this stuff is so OLD. Real 'Tomb Raider' stuff..Worth a visit.

Death: "Birth and Death are Just a Game of Hide and Seek" by Thich Nhat Hanh

Tibetan Buddha in Room 33 of the British Museum, originally uploaded by Irish friend of Bill.

This refers to a video called Birth and Death are Just a Game of Hide and Seek in my sidebar of a talk by hich Nhat Hanh in Sept 2005. I do not know how to post videos from google video so I'm including a link instead.

For those of you that feel ? Like something has been 'taken away' so to speak when a person dies, this video may help. I am of the belief that Thich Nhat Hanh has a better grasp of the nature of reality than most, so yes I know what he says might sound a bit odd, but he is very good at explaining these things in almost childlike terms. There is no real need to understand it in its infinite complexity. You just need a rough idea of how the dang thing works. That's all. HOW it works isn't necessary to know.

What he describes isn't as simple as reincarnation, if that's what you're thinking. For a start that would rely on the concept of a separate self. To a degree. He describes it much better than I ever could but basically he describes the inter connectedness of ALL things. Which is just another way of describing Non Duality. Which is the concept of only one 'person', as opposed to lots of separate selves. He describes the web of connections that connect us all. To everything and everybody. All the time. Whether we like it or not. The connections don't just exist in the present, they go back in time. Forward too probably. Gawd knows. So basically we are knitted into this fine web of connections to EVERYTHING.

In relation to people who have 'passed' this is relevant in that the connection is no less 'valid' due to the fact the person has passed. So basically we need never be alone again. And our loved ones are only a thought away. Well that's how I see it.

We cannot separate ourselves from them any more than we can separate ourselves from ourselves. Why? Because they ARE ourselves. Another leaf on the same tree, so to speak. We have no choice other than to be knitted together for all eternity. Whether we feel it or not. Whether we believe it or not.

Whatever. Now I'm just talking out of my a*se. So I'd better ! shut up. See I sounds like s*ite when I say it, but Thich Nhat Hanh, on the other hand, makes it sound terribly ordinary. Which is why he teaches all over the world, and I don't. Easy really!

But yes, I saw him do a very similar lecture in Scotland a couple of years ago. It blew me away. I have profound issues with death as I've been dealing with it since I was ? 4 or something. Basically I am programmed to expect death. Mine, or anyone else's I hold dear, or rely upon. Anything I love and value. I expect them to die, or for circumstances to 'take them away'. So this was a very powerful talk for me. It showed me I could never be separated from the most special people I have grown to love and value in this lifetime. Which was a wonderful gift from Thich Nhat Hanh. Like I say, Its not quite as simple as ? 'simple' reincarnation. More a continuum of connections that never 'disappears' as such, but manifests in an ever changing forms, and exists in states that have no intrinsic 'form' or 'shape'. Its just 'there', wherever 'there' is. But like I say. He sees it a DANG site better than I do, so listen to HIS version, not mine.

There is a pretty dull intro (in my opinion) by a woman host. I always skip the intro and go straight to the lecture. I have no patience!

Look I know this stuff seems WEIRD, but try to take it on trust that, that's really how it is, out there in the ether. (If you want to that is). I accept this stuff as reality. That's my choice, but I have come to believe that it is true.

Right I'm off then. Hope that's not too morose for you!

Dalai Lama: Vajrasattva Initiation and Bodhisattva Vow. Nottingham Sat 24th-Wed 28th May 2008

Amazing. His Holiness will be teaching in Nottingham in May 2008.. Thanks Johno for emailing me about it.

Regarding tickets. Floor seats are better (usually) as they can be closer to the stage.
Regarding hotels. I think the Nottingham Central Travelodge looks sufficient. 55 quid for a family room that can sleep three if you want ! it to. Starts early on Saturday morning. So book Sat, Sun, Mon and Tues night for the whole event.

There are two main events so to speak.
The Bodhisattva Vow.
The ceremony for engendering the Heart of Awakening - or bodhicitta. To generate the aspiration to attain enlightenment for the benefit of all beings and to enrol on the spiritual career of a Bodhisattva. Cool!

The Vajrasattva Initiation. Wednesday morning 28th May 08.
Vajrasattva is the buddha of purification. The meditation and recitation of Vajrasattva is considered supreme among all practices for the purification of all the accumulated negativities, illness and obscurations that are not inherently part of our true nature. A Sharp Weapon for the Total Elimination of Inner Darkness Caused by the Delusions and Distorted Emotions. Even better!

And some pretty !!! dense teachings, I would imagine. Not easy to grasp with the limits of the human mind. Unless you have many lifetimes of accumulated wisdom to draw from, and an above !!! Average mind. (Neither of which I have..)

General information on the Vajrasattva deity.

Nice old pic of the deity.

Downloadable Recording of the 100 syllable Vajrasattva Mantra sung by Khenchen Rinpoche

Recording of the 100 syllable Vajrasattva Mantra sung by Ven. Geshe Dakpa Topgyal.

Downloadable video of the 100 syllable Vajrasattva Mantra sung by Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche

Vajrasattva Invocation Mantra

OM VAJRA SATTVA HUNG

OM VAJRASATTVA HUM
OM VAJRA SATTO HUNG PHED

The 100 syllable Vajrasattva Mantra
-as described in Geshe Topgyal's: A Guide to Daily Vajrasattva Purification Practice and The Practice of the 35 Purification Buddhas - A Sharp Weapon for the Total Elimination of Inner Darkness Caused by the Delusions and Distorted Emotions)

OM
OM Banza Sato Samaya
Manu Palaya
Banza Sato Teno Per
Thi Kya Dri Dro Mey Bhawa
Suto Kyo Yo Mey Bhawa
Supo Kyo Yo Mey Bhawa:
Anu Rakto Mey Bhawa
Sawa Siti Mey Tra ya Tsa
Sawa Kama Sutsa Mey
Tsi Tam Shri Yam Kuru Hung
Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha Hoe Bha Gha Wana
Sava Tathagata
Banza Ma Mey Mun Zha
Bhan Zhi Bhawa
Maha Samaya Sato
Ah
Hung

See you there!

I don't really 'pray' for other people as such

I believe all thought forms and feelings have the same power as prayer. More like, all thoughts and feelings ARE prayers.
The film The Secret explains this idea pretty well.
For reasons I have not really given a great deal of thought to, I tend not to focus on one particular person in prayer. Perhaps I am mean spirited? I dunno. I think 'god' knows what every persons destiny is, and it is none of my business. I feel like if I pray for something specific, its like as if I went up to my boss with a letter from a client and said, I really think you should look at this first. Just seems wrong. But what the hell do I know. I have a TON of 'wrong perceptions' and this could be one of them. But the other reason, is that I feel my authentic concern and ? Feelings, thoughts about that person are a healing influence in themselves. I also think that ? Naturally occurring thought forms are pretty powerful, because they arise spontaneously and are utterly authentic. I think the more authentic a mind state is, the more powerful it is. I feel that if I have to sit down and think about a certain person, that there must be not much real feeling there to begin with. It sort of endorses the fact that I am a thoughtless b*****d. To be honest I have no idea if this is utter s***e or not, That's the thing with delusion. You can never really tell if you are right or not. Which is a shame. But I have a strong feeling that my thoughts and feelings heal others whether I pray formally or not. Actually I think is is BECAUSE I know how powerful prayer is that I have reservations about wielding its power. Formal practices scare me a bit because I think I am interfering with the course of events. I ALWAYS use the 'disclaimer' IF IT BE YOUR WILL at the end of ANY request, because I am TERRIFIED I will mess something up if I don't.

I think I tend to think I am contributing to the overall 'pool' of healing energy available to the ?? gods, devas, beings etc if I try to have as much wellbeing as I possibly can. Its like I am contributing to the 'energy bank'. I feel the ? gods, devas, beings and what have you are in a better position to allocate healing energy to the right places. My job in this lifetime is much more mundane. I am a spiritual pawn if you like. I am very limited in the work I can do to help people, so that's what I'd rather stick to. Its like I am the spiritual equivalent of an auxiliary nurse, and the real 'energy experts' ie the ? gods, devas, beings and what have you, they are the top surgeons. So I kind of just get on with my job of chatting to newcomers and what have you, and leave all the hardcore energetic work to them.
Besides I have such a limited view of the chain of events and future possibilities, that how can I POSSIBLY know what is best??
I also think that if I just get on with the messy business of trying to be useful in a more 'earthly' ways that the ? gods, devas, beings etc, will take care of me while I do that.

Like I say this is a very personal viewpoint. So don't think I'm saying you SHOULD do this. This is just where my feelings guide me, but like I say I have NO way of knowing if it is the right thing or not. (Like most things in life!) It just feels right. But I don't for one minute think that that means I AM right. My feelings have been wrong before. So gawd knows.

Generally, it goes like. 'Hands off'. "Leave it to the Pro's to figure out'. "Get on with helping people get sober'. "Back to work'.
Its like "Here's the mop, Back to work" "Look you missed a corner".

Some of you might think that sounds a bit harsh, but I have a VERY !!!! Clear picture of HOW LITTLE I KNOW, and I also have a VERY!!!! Clear picture that others know a GREAT !!!!! Deal more than me.
Which is just a way of saying that humility feels very real to me a LOT of the time. Which I actually like. It sounds crap, but I LOVE having faith in a 'power greater than myself'. Feels cool. Like having a 'proper' parent.

A (better than I expected) Wikipedia page that attempts to explain the Shadow

This wikipedia page on the shadow is pretty good. Not great, but its a start.

Here's a bit of what it says:
"It may be (in part) one's link to animal life, which is superseded during early childhood by the conscious mind; afterwards it comes to contain thoughts that are repressed by the conscious mind. According to Jung, the shadow is instinctive and irrational, but is not necessarily evil even when it might appear to be so. It can be both ruthless in conflict and empathetic in friendship. It is important as a source of hunches, for understanding of one's own more inexplicable actions and attitudes (and of others' reactions), and for learning how to accept and integrate the more problematic or troubling aspects of one's personality. (For example, see The Emperor's New Clothes."

The shadow also includes a bit of Psychological projection, but I'll do that in another post.

Get with the Shadow or you'll end up a bit too 'tightly wrapped' or ? Oblivious/Careless

In my opinion anyway.
Here's my ! Attempt to explain a thing I REALLY like. I gave up after a while, because it's VERY difficult to explain, but its better than nothing. Its a start.

Here's a bit by Robert Bly about how ?'processing' ones shadow affects ones 'authority'. Or perceived authority. I like this description as it communicates what I 'see' in others. Its a 'thing' I REALLY like to be around in other people.My favorite people have this quality. Anyway I just thought I would TRY !! To explain a bit about it. Not easy!

p54 A little book on the shadow', by Robert Bly.
"If a teacher has worked with his own shadow, she says that students, no matter how young they are, sense it, and discipline in that room will not be difficult, because the students know that the teacher has his crow with him. Other teachers, she says, who have not worked with their shadow, can talk about discipline all day and never get it. I like the idea that the work a person does on his or her shadow results in a condensation, a thickening or a denseing, of the psyche which is immediately apparent, and which results in a feeling of natural authority without the authority being demanded."

I must admit Sydney Poitier springs to mind in the film Dear Sir! But is not the best example. But it give you a clue as to what I think this passage refers to. Monks are 'dense' if that helps. Well the ones I like are anyway.

As far as the shadow goes, 'nice' is no good. There is no ? 'honesty' in 'nice'. A fuller appreciation of the 'depth and weight' of the human psyche, means 'nice' just does not 'fit'. Something a little more dense is requiired. Not wild and abandoned, just ? 'dense'. Dense is more honest. In my opinion. And I like being around dense people. The term I use for when people are NOT like this, is 'Sunny side up'. I actually find it pretty difficult to tolerate the company of people like that for very long. Its almost painful or something. Yeah, so there are some terms I use to describe it:

'Nice'
'Sunny side up'
'Tightly wrapped'
'Chipper'
? 'Optimistic' - a more obviously STRAINED form of positive thinking.
There is always something a bit STRAINED about this ? manner. Whatever. I hope you understand what I mean, because I find this pretty hard to describe.
They do not look 'stable'. Not to me anyway.
It always looks like quite a lot of energy is required to maintain that ? Demeanor.
There is an energy of 'enforcement' about them.

This type of person I find DRAINING. Which is a shame, because there are a LOT of people that are like this.

The people I like are:
? 'Dense' (Meaning the way Robert Bly uses the word dense in the passage I mentioned earlier)
No evidence of 'strain'. More like 'loose garment' types.
No evidence of 'sunny side up'
No fear of the dark side of humanity.
Acceptance of the dark side. Peace.
Ability to have fun and enjoy the good things life has to offer.
It look as if there Is more of a 'steady cruise' of energy
There is an energy of 'containment' about them. No 'strained' energy.
They look 'safe'. 'stable'.

Some people are kindof relaxed, but a bit oblivious. People who have integrated their shadow, look ? Powerful and 'knowing'. They have a very ? Silent authority. An unspoken authority. It is felt, more than anything. It doesn't come from being impressed by words.
It is not ? TOO relaxed. Its is NOT casual. It is precise and considered, but not precious. Its like ballet really.
Also it is not ? 'grubby'. I see a lot of acceptance of very negative behavior in meetings. That is NOT an example of shadow work. Instead it is reckless acceptance of damaging and negative thought forms.

Jeez. I KNEW this would be hard to explain. Whatever. Theres an attempt. I see this as pretty important developmental work in ANY spiritual path, so that's why I mention it.
Hey did I tell you I don't do therapy? Just thought I'd chuck that one in, just to mess with your heads! Hahaa. Right I'm off. Have a great Thursday!

Non duality: Group Soup: the ''fellowship of the spirit"

The ''fellowship of the spirit" is a very real thing. It's not a fairy story. You can just 'feel' it after a while. Its quite distinct really. We sort of get 'embedded' in the collective psyche of the group and other like minded people. Or something. Who knows. But we are all very connected. But for some reason we have a very tangible connection with other members of the fellowship.

I STILL find it weird that I have such a strong sense of 'family' with AA's. in some Buddhist circles they call it 'group soup'. I have distinctly different feelings of connection with different groups of people. I feel connected to monks different than AA's. AA feels the most like 'family', but monks and nuns feel different. More refined and soft. Weird really. Actually mow that I think of it, everyone is different, but there is a strong degree of similarity in the way I can feel about fellowship people. I love the increased sensitivity that being drug and drink free gives us. We can just 'tune into' things more. Which is pretty cool.

Abusive Background?: Your TOUGHEST lesson in sobriety is VULNERABILITY

Its tricky learning how to endure the overwhelming scariness of being vulnerable if you come from an abusive background. There is a tendency to either over indulge or repress, as well which doesn't help. All these thing require a very skillful, mindful, balancing act interiorly. Its quite subtle. Plus nigh on impossible if you cannot tolerate overwhelming emotional states without needing to drink to deal with it. so I suppose the heavier stuff, works best after step 9. Well that's what I've found anyway.

If you come from a physically abusive, sexually abusive, indifferent or cruel emotionally abused background, my guess would be that the TOUGHEST thing you will EVER learn in sobriety will be letting your guard down and allowing yourself to be utterly vulnerable. Trust basically.

No front. No defence. No second guessing.
Not everyone is the same, but I think that will be your greatest and toughest lesson. My experience is that the miraculous power in trying to live along spiritual lines by doing the steps can create enough healing to make that possible.

By the way, some people have a ‘front’ but do not make it obvious in their outward manner. These are the types with GOOD social skills, who nonetheless, never REALLY drop their reserve. These are just the ‘controlled’ types. Again this need to ‘be a certain way’ is a little inflexible and fear based and can be reduced with a good step 11 practice after step 9.
For these people the lesson is ‘not being in control’. Not having all the answers. But don’t worry. Basically if you bash away at the programme long enough, you Do get to be more like the ‘wearing life like a loose garment’ type. You DO get there in the end!

For those in search of a surrogate parent, or ‘someone to take care of them’ I recommend step 11. It ! Should leave you feeling connected to an ever present feeling of love, no matter what is happening. I refer to this in a previous post called a ‘‘dual mind space’.

Basically ‘god’ is the new ‘mother’, or parent you never had. The new benchmark for trust, security and wellbeing. Perhaps the first TRUE constant you have ever experienced. Its very cool. And step 11 brings you right into the bosom of your higher power. Steps one to nine, ‘set the stage’ for the step 11 magic to happen.

Personally I prefer ‘spiritual’ ? Esoteric ? Remedies for these things rather that (what I see as) the very limited scope of man made intellectual awareness that is available in 20th century mental health. Too limited! I want something MUCH more advanced than that. Ancient wisdom from the great masters. So that’s why I do not promote therapy with my Sponsees regardless of their histories. I understand that is not a currently popular view, but when I say this stuff, I say it to explain what I do. Not to try to control others or ‘make’ you do what I do. I have MUCH better things to do with my very limited reserves of energy than try to herd cats! No Siree! MY life is centre stage. I have NO power over others so that is not my concern. So what I mean is ‘do as you please’. I do not ‘need’ people to agree with me in order to feel ? Validated.
By the way, if these things didn’t work I would never subscribe to them. My experience and observations is that these things DO work. (Just in case you think I am a deranged idiot!)

Anyway! Regarding the abuse personality type, it’s worth noting that alongside this ‘invincibility’ (which is just another way of saying they NEVER let their guard down, or ‘show their face’ that this heavily defended approach is often coupled with a ‘god shaped hole’ of YEARNING to be take care of. This is because people with these backgrounds seem to spend the rest of their lives looking for surrogate parents. In the form of a partner often. Women with this tendency can often have a terrible emotional desperateness about ‘wanting ? Something’ from a relationship that it can never really provide.
They are looking in all the wrong places so to speak. Looking to fill the god shaped hole in relationships. Looking to satisfy the "Hungry Ghost". Relationships were never designed to meet the needs of a desire for a surrogate parent.

In addition. These types can be the ‘We don’t make friends we take hostages’ type. Meaning there is a clinging also. A sort of ‘hanging on to the apron strings’.
I find that people with these types of background have the most difficulty with abandonment issues and ‘letting go’ when I complete the first nine steps with them. They kind of want ‘more’.

‘More’ is just another word for the "Hungry Ghost"., and I direct people to a GOOD step 11 practice who are suffering from this condition. Step 11 is a VERY effective tool for addressing this spiritual condition. The hunger is finally satisfied! Wow. That’s how powerful a GOOD step 11 practice is. It reaches places in the soul that neither you or I will ever know exists. Its very powerful. Make sure you have a good teacher!

By the way, vulnerability does NOT mean being a 24 hr pool of weeping ? ..whatever. It means not being afraid of being exposed, of being (temporarily) a blobby mess. Not being afraid of being 'seen'. It is not a blank check for catharsis, or anything else. It means TRUE honesty. TRUE intimacy. No holding back. No trying to be 'clever'. Its an unflattering exposure of self. There is no ego. But more importantly, its a decision to NOT BE SUSPICIOUS or defended.
It can mean many things. Bu that's more what I mean in this case. So basically, I am not advocating limitless weeping as a hallmark of vulnerability. It is MUCH more than that.

I am LOVING Ajahn Munindo's online talks right now

(And people like Ken Wilber.) It feels like what I need to hear right now.
Just thought I would share that with you!
I was listening to the talk called Am I Practicing Rightly? Today and LOVED it.

Gawd knows, but its just the ticket. Mostly stuff about what I call 'emotional processing' because I have NO CLUE what else to call it!
He refers a lot to Self centeredness, but the words he uses to describe it is 'trying to get my own way', and control freak. I always use those two terms to describe what's happening when we are 'trying to run the show'.

He also describes what he calls a 'capacity to feel', being increased by this process. Which is what I was trying to describe in an earlier post called
'Steady containment' is what I call enlightenment
Becoming a 'Strong Vessel': Increasing your capacity for holding very powerful (good and bad) mind states in consciousness, without going mad!
Peace of mind is NOT dependent on having PLEASANT thought forms or emotions

What he describes is the ability to hold powerful emotional states in consciousness without making them a problem. Normally they are overwhelming, But that the more you do this thing, the greater your capacity is to feel these things. This is a step 11 mindfulness technique if you don't already know. This is a post step 9 thing really.

Anyway, he explains it better! have a nice Sunday!

Give till it hurts and INTENSIVE work with alcoholics: A Female Mystic enlightenment path

This is a U tube talk by Ken Wilber where he explains the path of 'Give till it hurts'.

"Give till it hurts" Mother Theresa
"Practical experience shows that NOTHING will so much insure immunity from drinking as INTENSIVE work with other alcoholics." p89

My favorite old timer used to say this, but (although it is a standard I use) I tend not to advertise this ? method for fear of being labeled horribly co dependent. Anyway. The missing piece of the jigsaw fell into place when I saw ken Wilber's utube item called 'give till it hurts'

Its actually very difficult to describe unless you've done it, so if you haven't really pushed yourself to your ! limits of patience and tolerance and gone to ANY LENGTHS to try very hard to help others, this may not mean very much to you at all. Who knows. But when I heard Ken Wilber describing the 'radical acceptance' that an INTENSE relationship to 'damaged goods' can bring about, I recognized it straight away. But then I have a bit of experience with meditation as well so perhaps that's why I can notice it.

I always say to Sponsees that newcomers are literally 'mind altering', in that they bring about a very clear and even mind space, but only if we are 'going the extra mile', or going to any lengths. Anyway, all I know is that at some point in the process, (usually after feeling very !! exasperated with the awareness that any judgment I am experiencing is completely road blocking my attempt to help) I sort of 'push myself up a gear', to 'get through to the person'. And reach a point internally where I GENUINELY feel no sense of 'good' or 'bad'. Its sort of like I can see the divine in them. They are not 'bad' people getting good. They are sick people getting well.
Anyway, it all goes a bit ? Neutral. Ken Wilber calls it an 'immoveable awareness'. Which sounds about right. It feels like I am 'holding' a 'space' for the craziness of the newcomer to exist in, where I do not flinch, internally or externally (in the form of speech or action) , while they relate their craziness to me. Its like I'm 'holding steady'. Yet it feels very intense at the same time. Anyway, it feels very cool. Kind of tough, but very cool. Its a very nice place to be in my head.

Anyway, Ken describes this as a way of achieving pure Equanimity, or 'one taste', which is just another word for releasing all judgment. All notions of things being either 'good' or 'bad'.
Anyway he pointed out that this was a way that women mystics tried to achieve the mental states normally created in more patriarchal institutions such as monasteries by sitting meditating for eight hours not blinking. It was very interesting and puts the mother Theresa doctrine into context. I always like mother Theresa, but I did not understand why. (Like most things to do with higher powers and what have you) Now I know! Well a BIT better!

Anyway anything that helps me put the jigsaw pieces together is good! I'm STILL 'looking though a glass darkly' but it all helps!

By the way, Mystics are very interesting if you can be bothered reading about them. I have heard the Christian mystics are worth getting to know, but I haven't done research in to book names or authors.