Finally! A use for Vodka in Recovery. (But ONLY if being around alcohol DOESN'T bother you!!)

Disclaimer: OBVIOUSLY please do NOT do this, if being around alcohol does not feel comfortable or you are a slightly ! over ambitious newcomer, (meaning COMPLETELY in denial,) and keep relapsing despite telling yourself you are 'ok' around alcohol. I only say this as I am not bothered by alcohol and I find a lot of Sponsees are the same, but its a personal thing, so do as you please. To be honest I do find it a bit weird (and funny) that I have a half empty Vodka bottle sitting next to all my cleaning stuff in a kitchen cupboard. Funny really. What would a visiting Sponsee think if they saw it!! Might look a bit suss! Hahaha.

In theory de ionized water or some distilled water might be ok to use instead, but I have tried it before once, admittedly in a much larger spray bottle, and it went a bit ! rank after a while. Don't really know why. But I love the two cleaning ladies on that programme, and have used their suggestions more than once already, so I just assume they know what they are talking about. All I'm saying is that the vodka element is not ESSENTIAL. If you like the idea, but don't fancy using the vodka.

Ok you will need:
Some GOOD Ylang Ylang from somewhere likeFragrant earth. (I would choose the Ylang Ylang extra superior - 10ml (Reference #EO669), but then I am a bit of an essential oil snob!)
Also. You could get some Geranium, Rose - 5ml (Reference #EO27O-5ml) because it is pretty cheap. Not as nice on its own, but can be added to a Ylang Ylang base.
Orange, sweet - 10ml(Reference #EO48O-10ml) is good on its own too but I find it a bit weak.
Sandalwood might be really nice actually, but I haven't tried that one. Lime might work, but I haven't tried it. And orange and clove would probably work well together but I haven't tried that one either. Still doing the flowery ones! There are LOTS of very nice flowery ones but the can be VERY expensive, so better to stick to the cheaper ones.

Then go to Waitrose and pick up the 'low rent' own brand vodka designed for cocktails (because it has less ? Taste apparently) Or so it says on the label!

Then off to superdrug to get yourself one of those empty spray bottles for a pound.
And voila! You have a !!! GORGEOUS room fragrancing kit.

The way this works is: you put ? 6-10 drops of Ylang Ylang in the empty spray bottle. Then you fill the rest up with the vodka. Shake it up a bit. Then use it as a room spray.
I LOVE it. It make the place smell EXACTLY the same as being in a flower shop full of flowers. Each to their own, but I LOVE it.

I saw it on that programme 'How clean is your house' AGES ago, and kept meaning to get round to doing it. Finally did quite recently.

Obviously, if you start thinking of ! DRINKING the vodka, then this is probably not for you! Stick to some lovely ! aerosol instead!

But I just thought that I would share that with you as I was deeply impressed by how good it smelled, and have been handing out little bottles of the stuff to people when I meet them. (Not random alcoholics I might add!) They seem to like it too. The vodka element always elicits a slightly puzzled look as well, which is always a bit of a laugh.

But basically, it IS lovely. Its like the room is filled with flowers. Not at ALL like normal ? Room fragrancers.

Its FAR too nice weather to blog and I'm enjoying my rest from study, so excuse my lack of enthusiasm for posting, but I just thought I would share that recent discovery. I should be in the gym!! I've managed to reinstate the gym routine, but I'm still eating luxuries. Ie crap. Boo hoo! Its back to the raw vegtables I reckon. Its not easy giving up bread! Ah well. Rice and beans might be an adequate substitute for the crack-cocaine-like addiction to bread! Worth a try anyway. See yal! Have a nice Sunday!

What does 'No Mental Defense' mean? Selective amnesia at uncontrolled intervals

What's the CRITICAL weakness that makes people relapse?

Selective amnesia concerning "the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago", which occurs at TOTALLY random, uncontrolled time periods.
This is what it means to have NO MENTAL DEFENSE against the first drink.

A momentary (amnesia induced) lapse in recall, leads us to believe we can put our hand on the (metaphorical) hot stove.

"We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness WITH SUFFICIENT FORCE the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are WITHOUT DEFENSE against the first drink.
The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are HAZY and READILY SUPPLANTED with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a COMPLETE FAILURE of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove."
p24 Big Book

Why stay away from wet places when you are new?

When in doubt, don't.
"If you hang around a barbershop long enough, eventually you'll get a haircut."

It's just not worth it while those 'strange mental blank spots' are in danger of appearing when you LEAST expect them. While you are STILL at risk of selective amnesia at unpredictable intervals, best to stay AWAY from wet places.
Once your 'mental defense' is restored, (due to a 'spiritual experience as a result of doing the steps'), you can go wherever you dam well please! But for the time being its too much of a risk.

I just never worry about relapse, or find myself thinking about drinking. (Obedient!) Sponsees are the same..

I have gone for long periods without meetings (after step 9) but I have never found myself worrying about drinking, or finding drinking attractive. I'm not an advocate of dependency on anything, including meetings, but I am aware that for a lot of people in AA, meetings are the places where they 'work their programme' in the form of fellowship. self revealing honesty, asking for help and helping others. If meetings are the ONLY places you practice those things, (!!) then you really ARE stuck without meetings! All I know is if I am practicing CONSTANT THOUGHT OF OTHERS, life is very easy. So many people still have what is called in the big book an 'alcoholic mind' despite attending meetings, and are effectively accidents waiting to happen.

I have found I can often spot the ones that will relapse ahead of time. So much so, that (if they ask me about their recovery) I tell them that I expect them to relapse at some point. Even down to the year! or month, depending. I told someone that quite recently actually. What I'm saying is that I do not find it mysterious when people relapse.

I'm VERY lucky because I stumbled across a method of doing the steps which seems to eliminate any risk of relapse. I know 100's of people who have done it the same way as I did it, and they just NEVER relapse. But that's why I chose to do it the way I did. It might sound trite and arrogant, but until I see just ONE person drink who has done it the way I was shown, I think it would be wrong to imply that there is a risk of drinking by doing it that way.

In fact that's one of the main reasons I've left bits of it online, as I think I was SO lucky to have learnt recovery the way I did. I'm sure there are MANY other GREAT ways of working the programme, but I simply haven't NEEDED to research the success of OTHER step methods as the one I've used up to now seems to work very well. I'm not alone in this, as my old home group contemporaries often express a very similar gratitude when we run into one another, as the longer we are sober, the more we realize how lucky we are.

Old post refs:
An old post called
The 'Alcoholic Mind' Do you still have one?
Listed under the label Untreated Alcoholism which explains a bit about it.
Also the
"Being around alcohol in Recovery" Topic has some stuff about how the big book describes our relationship to alcohol OUGHT to be after step 9.
There are 2 old posts called
After Step 9, How should we be feeling toward alcohol?
And..
Does the BB say that we should avoid alcohol after Step 9?
Which explains it.

Alcoholic foods to avoid!

For those of you that don't already know which foods tend to have alcohol in...
Unheated foods (mostly desserts) are the ones that contain alcohol in its unaltered state. Because at christmas we tend to eat stuff that we wouldn't eat the rest of the year, its easier to get caught out.

Brandy butter: Obvious I know. Besides it just sounds quite disgusting. I've never had it so I don't know. But I think it sounds VERY easy to avoid.
Mince pies: Sometimes they put brandy or liqueurs in them.
Chocolates: Watch out for the ones with liqueurs in. the barrel shaped ones are always a bad idea! ALWAYS read the accompanying pictorial guide BEFORE you eat the chocolate!
Sherry trifle: Obvious I know, but I thought I should include it.
Christmas pudding: Nearly always has some sort of alcohol in it. You can get alcohol free ones in tesco and most places.
Tiramasu.
Black forest gateau.
'Normal' cakes from places like Patisserie Valerie. They are always doused in alcohol after cooking.
Cakes and Gateaux. Often have Kirsch in.
Any kind of pudding that is on fire!
Ice creams in restaurants. Often have liqueurs added.
Not sure but I think the Hagen daaz chocolate ice cream has a liqueur in it. But even if it didn't, you shouldn't be eating it anyway! Hahaaaha..
Any cooked main meal where the alcohol has been added at the later stage.
A cooked main meal including alcohol which has been cooked minimally.

Each to their own. I have an unusual eating regime in that I don't eat a lot of cooked food at all, bar whole wheat rice,pasta and bread. Basically, I don't cook! But when I used to eat 'normal food' or when I was eating out I would pretty much choose things which had not been cooked in wine, beer etc, because I just felt more comfortable doing that.

That reminds me. I don't really eat out at all, but when I used to eat out and went to places that were not familiar or regular haunts, I was VERY disappointed by how unhelpful and disinterested the staff were in checking if certain recipes had alcohol in them or not. They very clearly could not give a toss. But what do you expect from people on a minimum wage?
What I mean is, do NOT expect staff unbeknownst to you to care, or even show the slightest interest in whether there is alcohol in your food or not. It's very 'whatever' out there.
In the end I used to just not bother with puddings as I got SO fed up with nagging staff for non alcoholic desserts, only to be given ones with alcohol in. These would not have been standard 'family style' restaurants, more 'grown up' ones. Not a harvester for instance! I don't think harvester DO alcoholic puddings!! Perhaps you have a better service culture in your area, but I dismay with the stuff I've had to deal with. Especially when the staff barely speak English. I think minimum wage culture just lends itself to total apathy and indifference to diners.

I do eat the weirdest crap, but I love it! I felt really tired this morning so adopted my 'tired' food regime. Which is a pint of freshly juiced carrot juice with ginger, and 750g of finely shredded organic carrot topped with 3 apples blended into a smoothie. Sound disgusting, but I LOVE it! And it ALWAYS raises my energy level and makes me feel bright as a button. Even when I felt BLEH beforehand. Food is really cool, if you can find ways of making it work for you. I always resort to raw fruit and veg when I need extra reserves of energy and general bounciness. I just can't imagine going back to the old way I used to eat. Processed food is all chemicals and additives. Yuk! Mind you I do have quorn and soya from time to time, which is probably got got lots of weird stuff in it. Note to self: ditch the ready-made veggie Quorn crap.

Anyway, I have study to do! Have a fabulous Wednesday!

After Step 9, How should we be feeling toward alcohol?

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 85
We will seldom be interested in liquor.
If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame.
We react sanely and normally,
and we will find that this has happened automatically.
We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us
without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes!
That is the miracle of it.
We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation.
We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected.
We have not even sworn off.
Instead, the problem has been removed.
It does not exist for us.
We are neither cocky nor are we afraid.
That is our experience.
That is how we react so long as we keep in FIT SPIRITUAL CONDITION.

Does the BB say that we should avoid alcohol after Step 9?

Chapter 7. WORKING WITH OTHERS page 100
Assuming we are SPIRITUALLY FIT, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do.

Chapter 7. WORKING WITH OTHERS page 101
In our belief
ANY scheme of combating alcoholism
which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation
is doomed to FAILURE.
If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time,
but usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever.
We have tried these methods.
These attempts to do the impossible have ALWAYS FAILED.

Chapter 7. WORKING WITH OTHERS page 101
We meet these conditions EVERY DAY.
An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an ALCOHOLIC MIND;
there is something the matter with his spiritual status.
His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap,
and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything!

Chapter 10. TO EMPLOYERS page 147
If he is conscientiously following the program of recovery
he can go ANYWHERE your business may call him.

Chapter 7. WORKING WITH OTHERS page 102
If you answer these questions satisfactorily,
you need have NO apprehension.

Chapter 2. THERE IS A SOLUTION page 26
But this man still lives, and is a free man.
He does not need a bodyguard nor is he confined.
He can go anywhere on this earth where other from men may go without disaster,
provided he remains willing to maintain a certain simple attitude.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 85
We will seldom be interested in liquor.
If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame.
We react sanely and normally,
and we will find that this has happened automatically.
We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us
without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes!
That is the miracle of it.
We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation.
We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected.
We have not even sworn off.
Instead, the problem has been removed.
It does not exist for us.
We are neither cocky nor are we afraid.
That is our experience.
That is how we react so long as we keep in FIT SPIRITUAL CONDITION.

How to refuse a drink when you are out

How to decide whether to attend a boozy 'do'

our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking,
IF we have a legitimate reason for being there. (p101, AA Big Book)

That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties.
To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic,
This may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn't.

You will note that we made and important qualification. (p101, AA Big Book)

Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion,
1. "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place?
2. Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?"
If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension.
* Go or stay away, whichever seems best.
1. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start
2. and that your motive in going is thoroughly good.
3. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion.
4. Think of what you can bring to it.
5. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead! (p102, AA Big Book)

Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. (p102, AA Big Book)

If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there;
if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically.
If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along.
Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. (p102, AA Big Book)

At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you.
If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. (p102, AA Big Book)

While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little.
Now you are getting back into the social life of this world.
Don't start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor.(p102, AA Big Book)

Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others,
so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful.
You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. (p102, AA Big Book)

Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed. (p102, AA Big Book)