Am I a FREAK or C**P at my AA programme if DIFFICULT people make me angry? NO.

It's PERFECTLY NORMAL to have your patience tested to it's LIMITS, when we are thrown unwittingly into having to deal with DIFFICULT people.

You are NOT a freak for being angry! It's how you DEAL with the anger that arises that 'sets you apart' in terms of our programme.

Beating yourself up for simply BEING HUMAN serves no useful purpose. Compassion! Anger has its own rhythm. You just have to let it run its course, WITHOUT ACTING OUT destructively.

Here's some stuff which is good if anger has 'arisen'.
Go scream into a bowl of water, (Quite fun actually!, even when you don't feel REMOTELY angry!!)
Strangle a towel!
Clean up..in a slightly ferocious manner!
Go do some weights in the gym.
go to a lake and throw stones into it. ?? Heheh. Well you know what I mean.

I'm a BIG fan of the old 'Taoist Arch' trick when emotions run high, but that's just me.

By the way. This is NOT a license to be ANGRY ALL THE TIME, or TO THINK IT IS NORMAL TO WANT TO KILL PEOPLE. (Yes, I have met MANY people in AA who subscribe to this view!) Jeez. Oh well..
NO that is NOT normal. If this is how you feel you have a BIG problem with anger and you are SERIOUSLY UNDERMINING your 'fit spiritual condition'. Why? Because "Resentment is the number one offender". p64
It is NOT 'ok' to act out on your anger. Why?
Because "If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink." p70

Just remember: "Restraint of tongue and pen.", "Restraint of tongue and pen.", "Restraint of tongue and pen."
Repeat it like a mantra! Until the desire to tell them what a USELESS WASTE OF SPACE THEY ARE, subsides! Heheh.
If I'm honest, the MOST powerful leveler of ANY yukky emotion is the old chestnut 'Constant thought of others' . Meaning service of some sort.

Just thought I'd put that in just in case! This post addresses people who have completed the first nine steps and are NOT a seething cauldron of contemptuous rage! (Hahahaa) or (one of my FAVORITE big book quotes) the sort of person who "explodes over a trifle". p126
Heheh. I LOVE that one.. Always conjures up the FUNNIEST pictures in my mind..

'Top up' Remedies to 'smooth' the impact of Step 11

Step 11 when done in the company of senior monastics can be quite 'aggressive' meaning it can bring about quite powerfully felt upheavals. This is not always the case. It is an entirely unpredictable phenomenon. But generally, given the high level of denial in your average alcoholic, plus the lack of experience with fully-felt emotions, it is fairly predictable that (eventually) the average alcoholic will feel things in a way which (for them) may seem quite strong. Don't worry if you seem to have NO reaction. Like I say, it's totally unpredictable. It's not unusual for monastics (for instance) to spend a long time finder the 'right' community to join. What I mean is, its very personal.
Also, certain traditions are more accessible than others. For instance if you were drawn to the shamanic American Indian tradition, you would be hard pushed to find a good or inspiring teacher in England. But who knows as I haven't researched that in much detail. You don't really choose these things. They choose you. But it is safe to say that we have some VERY HIGH CALIBER teachers on our doorstep so we are very lucky. The Good Retreat Guide is FULL of GREAT places to try out.

This is why I emphasize seeking out competent and ideally senior meditation groups and monastics as they make this transition easier than if you were to try to do it on your own. The aim is to process some of the 'backlog', even though it doesn't feel very nice! And then just get better at feeling things without making the feelings into a problem (in respect to your thoughts about them.)

These supplementary Step 11 therapies are for when you are NOT in meditation groups. Ie all the rest of the time! These are soft, fluffy 'mild' therapies which will make for an easier time. Otherwise you can become a bit of a grouch! They're very good, don't get me wrong, its just I see them as a SECONDARY device, rather than the 'main event'.
This is sensible practice even if you feel FINE or blissed out after doing step 11, and if you start going on retreats you will find these therapies are pretty much 'standard issue' supports for any meditation practice, that 'normal' happy people use. Its' just sensible.

So..
When you're 'processing' a lot of 'stuff' (usually due to doing a lot of step 11), I think you should 'up' the usage of 'energetic medicine' for want of a better word.
This stuff is what I call 'fluffy', meaning it takes the 'edge' off strong 'stuff'. Its therapeutic and feels nice. Its sort of like a portable monastery! It should change the energy of your self and (in terms of the oil burners), your home too.
This only really applies to people who are doing 'proper' retreats. Unless of course you find yourself experiencing strong re emergence of 'stuff' without the aid of retreats. In which case go ahead!
By and large this is for post step 9 only, as you don't really want to be mucking around with this stuff before then, just in case it sets the step 11 ball rolling prematurely. Which would NOT be a good idea!

That would include
Regular healing. Ie NFSH. Hey its FREE!
Physical therapies. Such as
Chi Kung, ('standing like a tree' as they call it. Can be done at home easily in front of the telly) All you need is the book 'The way of Energy'. Its really easy to do. It is a form of healing, but self generated. Also just ten minutes a day can be good.
Shiatsu Treatments (See Zen school at Old Street). They are very cheap, one Saturday morning a month. Also fri eve class is cheap.
Also, this book showing Polarity Therapy Exercises is excellent. It shows you, among other things, how to do the Taoist Arch. Very short and sweet exercises.
Look up physical therapies in the Topics listing for reference.

I would also use energetic remedies such as Australian Bush Flower Creams:/Sprays:. Or Bach flower creams if you prefer those. I prefer the Australian Bush flower range as I'm more familiar with them and I think their uses are very 'contemporary'. Meaning they address 'modern' issues.
But basically I just never really got to know the Bach flower range. I've seen the rescue remedy cream but never tried it.
You can either get them from GOOD health food shops, or the London Homeopathic Hospital Pharmacy on Great Ormond Street. Open 9 till 5pm.

Aromatherapy at home. In the form of oil burners. Buy essential oils from fragrant earth ONLY and DEEP oil burner basins from culpepper in Covent garden. Read Subtle Aromatherapy book so you know how to use them. BE CAREFUL WITH THEIR USE AS THEY CAN BE TOXIC WHEN EXPOSED TO THE SKIN DIRECTLY.
And be careful with candles!!!
Equal quantities of Lavender and Vetiver is a good home combo. It does a bit of everything.

Protective use of the Green Tara Mantra whilst 'out and about', if you are becoming sensitive to other people and it doesn't feel very pleasant!
Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha
You can buy a mala from Watkins if you like using the mantra in conjunction with that. But its not necessary. It helps if you get a nice picture of a green Tara from Watkins though.

Also if you go to the mind body spirit show they sell a greater range of sprays than you would find in the average health food shop, some which work very well. Same theory as other flower essences.

I've tried these: ones and I thought they were lovely. I think most brands work in the main. Al the ones i've bought seem to work pretty well anyway. Just try out some and see if they have any effect.

And last but not least, I strongly recommend increased use of active imagination 'conversations' with 'wise beings' as a useful tool to supplement what you are doing with your meditation practice. You are going to need additional support, and this kind of work is very personal so its not always easy to do with your normal channels. Active imagination is very portable, accessible. and free! Its basically a modified version of having a chat with your higher power. So WELL within your capability!

And it goes without saying that basic books on meditation like 'a path with heart' are 'standard issue'. Otherwise you wont have a clue what's happening!

There are a MILLION different ways, (some VERY expensive) of doing this stuff as you will find out when you attend something like the mind body spirit festival. Also some expensive charlatans! These are just some easy and effective ones you can try yourself.

Obviously it's up to you how much extra support using these things you plan on using, but the more you do things which make you feel good, the more step 11 'work' you can 'take on board'. Use a bit of common sense though! If all the step 11 is getting a bit much you can offset the effects by absorbing your attention in distracting things such as cinema, food, tv, ANY distraction will have this effect somewhat. I'm just saying you don't have to go at step 11 'full tilt' all the time. You can ease up on it, from time to time, if you find it makes you feel better. Its entirely up to you, and is already covered pretty well in the book 'spiritual emergency', so I don't need to repeat it here.
Spiritual Emergency: When Personal Transformation Becomes a Crisis Stanislav Grof

Also homeopathy is EXPENSIVE and requires word of mouth recommendation to avoid getting a 'duff' one, but they can prescribe remedies specifically designed to address energetic weaknesses in the body. But im inclined to see how you get on on your own steam as I know some very respectable practitioners who use these things. So don't think of them as the 'cheap seats'. They are as good as anything else you would pay for if you apply yourself to them.

Don't be slavish about this stuff. Just try it and see what works for you.

Oh yeah. And BOG STANDARD EXERCISE is HIGHLY recommended as a VERY EFFECTIVE REGULATORY TOOL too. The more 'heavy' the work you are doing, the more you need to be in the gym on the step machine!!
Exercise is fabulous for everything really. Its a great ally. In every sense.

Physical Therapies

All these things are powerful ways of changing your energy, and altering your mind state. They are very healing, and improve your 'energy'. Very protective. And of course make you feel good. Will also reveal things to you as any step 11 thing would.

Polarity Therapy
Energy Exercises: Easy Exercises for Health and Vitality, Based on Dr.Randolph Stone's Polarity Therapy
This is where I got the Taoist Arch from! VERY POWERFUL. VERY HEALING.
Very simple do-able exercises that change your energy. Can be done easily by buying the book.

Chi Kung.
Chi Kung: The Way of Energy by Lam Kam Chuen
Standing meditation. 'Stand like a tree'
Can be done for just 5minutes a day. VERY POWERFUL. VERY HEALING.
Can be followed easily from the book. Its very healing.

The Zen School of Shiatsu EC2A 4NP
VERY HEALING. Fully clothed massage. Not intrusive. Fridays are a taster session. 6.30pm - 9pm no need to book, £9.
People are always on the pull at these types of things so be warned! Also Kris is always getting intimate with students but is NEVER sexually inappropriate. He does loads of tantric stuff, so that's why. I'm just warning you!!

There are many schools but this one is good. And Kris is a good teacher. There is quite a lot of sexual energy floating about, but that's to be expected on account of the other types of therapy they do apart from Shiatsu. They do other more sexually orientated stuff. I'm not recommending that stuff. But the shiatsu is taught well here and they are sexually responsible, so it's 'safe'.

Weepy? Overwhelmed? Try the Taoist arch!

Stand with feet shoulder width apart
Or an comfortable pose
Bend the torso back, looking upward
Without excessive strain
Reach the arms out fully to the front, the sides, and behind the lower back
Breathe fully
Exhaling with a deep sigh of satisfaction or a warm expression of greeting and enthusiasm.

Excellent for emotional processing. This can be dramatic and forceful when the pose is held for a minute or more