60 hour work weeks and waaay too much to do :)

This so called restful summer has turned into quite an eventful and full-up one! Trouble !! at work, unscheduled revision to remind myself of what I have learned and forgotten!, applications that would always involve a very high rate of rejection are even more so! Thankfully I have met enough people who are a lot more experienced than me in these matters to help me figure these things out. (BTW they are 'A power greater than me' in that regard.) I still find I meet MANY 'Powers greater than me' every day. Thank God.

I have been putting in a lot of hours for the last ? 6 weeks or so, and there isn't much let up. And I have been going to more meetings to reduce stress. Plus I discovered two !!!!! great pieces of diet software which means I am losing the weight I gained while spending too much time sitting reading books instead of charging about as usual. I LOVE watching the graph nosedive over the weeks :)
And I've got a whole ! pile of new stuff to do in Sept. It never ends!
so basically my life contains all the stuff that many other people are going through at the moment. Staff reductions at work, job insecurity, trying to steer into more secure jobs, and dealing with the additional demands that creates, such as learning new skills and the extra curricular study, applications, rejections and everything else :)
I am very grateful for AA at times like these, and the newcomers. It really is the pub with no beer :) It makes this demanding period much more manageable.
I better go off and make some lists! That and a good strong mug of tea!

I have a busy day in front of me :)
Have a lovely Monday!

How to get a LOVING concept of a Higher Power. If you do not already have one.

It HAS to be a LOVING concept of a HP. (see Trad 2.) If it is even a LITTLE bit judgmental, it’s no good. Generally, when talking to your higher power, ask for help with whatever ROADBLOCKS you are experiencing at present.
If the roadblock is that you have a PUNISHING or JUDGEMENTAL higher power, then this is not really in keeping with the 'instructions' in Tradition 2.
You can get very unstuck down the line, if you 'drift' into a punishing concept.
With AA It's ALL in the detail!! (Well that's what I think anyway.) I am AMAZED at how STUCK people can get at a later stage if they do not 'dot the I's and stroke the t's' if you know what I mean..

I ALWAYS say to new people..
Ask your higher power for the MOST loving concept of a POWER greater than you.
Ask your higher power for the MOST powerful concept of a POWER greater than you.
Self will isn't going to get you there! (See Big Book quote below) That's how I got my concept...

Why not try 'the power of AA as a whole' to begin with?
Or the power that makes the earth turn?

"If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered LONG ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did NOT save us, NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE TRIED.
We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with ALL our might, BUT THE NEEDED POWER WASN'T THERE.
Our human resources, as marshaled by the will, WERE NOT SUFFICIENT: they FAILED UTTERLY." p45

Have a nice Sunday! Weather is GLORIOUS here!

Prayer: A Grovel-free Zone!

For those of you that have a tendency to get all 'inferior' when you talk to to your higher power...
Groveling obsequious 'prayer' is NOT good. Did you do any Dickens in school? Remember Uriah Heep? Bleh! You don't want to be like that do you? Well then! No more groveling pleas for 'redemption' from your 'terrible' iniquities!

All this being 'down' on yourself. It's all very 'drama queen', Chill! Wear life like a loose garment. not a hair shirt!

Being INFERIOR in ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM is PRIDE IN REVERSE.

Pride is essentially BS. So when you think you are s**t, you are JUST as full of BS, as when you think you are better than everybody else!They are BOTH VERY arrogant positions.

When will you know when you have hit the balance JUST right?
When you are COMFORTABLE!
Be guided by the wisdom of your feelings (meaning what feels 'happy joyous and free') and you will ALWAYS be guided to gods will. Well that's what I think anyhow,..

Just Pedal

At first I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there sort of like a president. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I really didn't know Him.

But later on, when I met God, it seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that God was in the back, helping me pedal. I don't know when it was that He suggested that we change places, but life has not been the same since. When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable... It was the shortest distance between two points.

But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said, "Pedal." I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are you taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to learn to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure. And when I'd say, "I'm scared," He'd lean back and touch my hand. He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance and joy. They gave me gifts to take on my journey...and we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away; they're extra baggage, too much weight."

So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light. I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it; but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, knows how to jump to clear high rocks, knows how to fly to shorten scary passages. And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with God as my delightful constant companion. And when I'm sure I just can't do anymore, He just smiles and says, "Pedal."


Shamelessly borrowed from Daaves blog.
Daave finds some FABULOUS stuff, I'll give you that.
I REALLY like this passage. I'm making it one of my 'favorites'. Its very VERY good.
I don't know about you but this is the closest description I have found of my relationship with my higher power. I would not describe it as 'cozy', because it asks me to step out of my comfort zone and old ideas. Spiritual growth really does feel like this. And the presence of love feels absolutely like this.
For those of you who have yet to experience a SANE, SUPPORTIVE relationship with another human being, this is a good example of what love feels like. It CHALLENGES us but at the same time, IS A COMFORT. But not necessarily in the way we expect it to be! The other may not agree with us, they may not sit back while we make excuses for not trying. They very often disagree, BUT IN A LOVING LIGHTHEARTED WAY.
Bad news for all the self-centered people out there who thought being loved meant they 'got their own way' all the time. Far from it! Real love is VERY CHALLENGING. There are no days off! And bullshitting doesn't work either!
This passage is a total blessing. It explains so much.

Answers to your Prayers

God has only three answers to your prayers:
Yes
Yes, but not now
No, because I have something better for you

(This is an old one, but I was just reminded of it today). I have found it to be true in my recovery anyway. I trust when things drift apart, that it's time for one chapter to end so that another one can begin. Basically I have faith in 'failure' as a necessary closing of one door, to make way for the new.
So often we cling to 'the old ideas'. Anything familiar basically. Whether its good for us or bad for us, because we think there will be nothing better. What a load of !!! Very limited thinking! Our higher power has MUCH better plans for us! (Well that's what it's been like for me anyhow)

P100
When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than ANYTHING we could have planned. Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you WILL, (not might) presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances!
p63
Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, IF we kept close to Him and performed His work well.

By the way, when asking your higher power for help with ANYTHING, always finish it it off with 'IF it's your will', JUST IN CASE you ask for something that you can't handle!!!. Like they say... 'If you pray for an elephant, make sure you've got a big back garden!'

God REALLY does speak to you through 'random' people in (and out of) meetings

Actually I DO go to meetings to hear what God has to say to me through random people. Or to see who God has decided to put in my path that day. I AM taught by the synchronicity of both what people say and do in meetings. Also by who shows up. It IS true. You DO hear what you need to hear, if you are TRYING to stay in fit spiritual condition. I might add that part of staying in fit spiritual condition, means (for me) that I aim to be neither AA dependent, meeting dependent, or person/sponsor dependent. So I pretty much know that I can feel pretty good even if I go to very few or no meetings. I have been going to about one a week since November 05 because I've been co secretary, and if you know me, I'm sure you can see that I'm fine! (Actually I needed to go to more to find speakers, and I have enjoyed going to more.) Having said that, I am sure that if I really needed to go without meetings I would be fine. I have in the past gone to one every 6 weeks. Reluctantly! But I can be 'of service' ANYWHERE. I don't need to be in a meeting to do that. So if you are my sponsee, in theory that option is available to you, IF you decide to approach recovery in a similar fashion to myself. AA badly needs good sponsors though, so I hope you continue to look for people that really WANT what you've got and are willing to do exactly what you suggest. Because if they get well, they will be a great blessing to AA. In my opinion.
I'm only saying that because I don't want you to bugger off to have a life after step 9 without putting anything back into AA. Trust me you will NEED the 'good karma points' generated by 'constant thought of others' in order to invite blessings into your life! It may seem like you are constantly having to get busy making 'lemons into lemonade', but HAVE FAITH!! Sponsoring alcoholics is on of the MOST powerful ways I have found of generating 'good karma points'. So use it! Its a VERY powerful spiritual 'workout'. It produces MASSIVE amounts of blessings in every sense. Mental, emotional, physical, coincidental. Everything really. For me it has proved to be a very powerful vehicle for getting where I want to get in my mind and my emotions. I have experienced what I think are miracles of healing. I really _should_ be a train wreck. It really not normal for me to be happy, or even have enough basic skills to make my life better. If I have these skills, they are a gift from God and nothing else. They certainly did NOT originate in me. They are blessings.
So, DO THE RIGHT THINGS AND THE RIGHT THINGS WILL HAPPEN!!
That's REALLY how it works. I have come to rely on it!!
The Universe knows EXACTLY what you are doing and will reflect back to you what you 'put out'. Trust me, the world is SO weird it would make your head spin if you even had a HINT of how weird it is. NOTHING is quite as it seems! And the 'world of the Spirit' is VERY real. And sees everything! And reacts accordingly! And knows a LOT more than you will EVER know. Thank God for a higher power to look out for us in this weird business of trying to make sense of life!

PS Please ignore this if this 'does your head in'. Its a post step 9 conversation really. Step 11 stuff I suppose..

Want some advice or feedback from a 'Wise Being'? Try Active Imagination!

WARNING. You motive for having this conversation should NOT be selfish.
If you want to 'better' your life, in ANY way shape or form,
It should be for THE BENEFIT OF ALL SENTIENT BEINGS
And NO other reason.
You have been warned!!!
Selfishness does NOT work well for you in the realm of the Spirit!!!
What goes around comes around and all that...
Also please be respectful when you do this.

Hmm. How do I explain this.... (without sounding like a lunatic!!)
As far as I am concerned, this is a step 11 'trick'.
This can be done by anyone, but I normally explain how to this AFTER step 9.

Basically you can talk to ANYONE.
Here's how

Personally I like to have a nice space to do this in. Its no different than when you have guests round for dinner. You want to have the place nice. Its not REALLY important, but it IS a nice thing to do.
Its not a ranting opportunity. More of a 'consultation'.
I instinctively feel like I ought to be very respectful when I have these consultations. I don't do them willy nilly. Even though I feel as though I could. I only do this if I feel I have something important I need to consult with them about. I do not want to be more of a drain on 'them' than I absolutely need to. I encourage you to be respectful of this process whilst at the same time, being as honest as you can.

Make a cup of tea, sit down and have a chat with a 'Wise Being'.
Out loud. Or in your head if you are more adept.
Just 'imagine' that there is a wise being there, and you are chatting to 'he/she/it'

Just see what happens..
Try it for, say 30mins or so to start with
But once you get the 'hang' of it, you can do it more instantaneously and for shorter periods.

Ask advice..
Questions..
What do you think of this? Type of thing..
Or what do you make of that?..
Or do you think I'm full of shit?..
Or Am I kidding myself about this?..
Or I just don't know what I'm doing here!..
Or what do YOU think I should do about this?..
Or will I EVER get better at 'x'......

Just about anything you like really..

The rule is BE HONEST.
NOT 'nice'

Tell the truth!
Be yourself!
Stop pretending!
Tell it like it is!
And listen!

Write down the 'feedback' that comes into your head AFTER you have spoken your 'truth', (for no other reason than) you will probably forget it if you don't.
Don't write it down at the time. Wait untill after the 'conversation' has taken place before you start jotting down the perceptions that come into your head.

Tell me how you get on with this because I always like hearing how this goes..

Disclaimer. This should BENEFIT you.
If for some reason you feel WORSE instead of BETTER after you have done this
Then as far as I am concerned. You are doing it WRONG. So please do NOT do it until I have had a chance to give you some corrective feedback.
So please consult me if this is not 'working' for you.

PS Active Imagination has its origins in the Jungian Tradition, but is mirrored in many other faiths and traditions. Basically its a universal truth as far as Im concerned, but I cant be bothered explaining it to be honest. Have fun!

Beginnings of a spiritual experience

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 75
We may have had certain spiritual beliefs,
but now we begin to have a spiritual experience.

Chapter 11. A VISION FOR YOU page 158
He had begun to have a spiritual experience.

God-consciousness

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 84
We have entered the world of the Spirit.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 76
We feel we are on the Broad Highway,
walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 75
We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator.

Chapter 4. WE AGNOSTICS
page 55
the consciousness of your belief
is SURE to come to you.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 85
To some extent we have become God-conscious.

Chapter 9. THE FAMILY AFTERWARD page 130
This dream world has been replaced by a great sense of purpose,
accompanied by a growing consciousness
of the power of God in our lives.

Chapter 4. WE AGNOSTICS
page 56
For the first time,
he lived in conscious companionship
with his Creator.

Chapter 4. WE AGNOSTICS
page 47
At the start, this was all we needed to commence spiritual growth,
to effect our first conscious relation with God
as we understood Him.

Chapter 5. HOW IT WORKS page 63
As we felt new power flow in,
as we enjoyed peace of mind,
as we discovered we could face life successfully,
as we became conscious of His presence,
we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter.

Chapter 5. HOW IT WORKS
page 59
Sought through prayer and meditation
to improve our conscious contact with God
as we understood Him ,
praying only for knowledge of His will for us
and the power to carry that out.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 87
Being still inexperienced
and having just made conscious contact with God,
it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times.

Chapter 4. WE AGNOSTICS page 51
When many hundreds of people are able to say
that the consciousness of the Presence of God
is today the most important fact of their lives,
they present a powerful reason why one should have faith.

A vital 'Sixth Sense'

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 85
We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense.

Chapter 1. BILL'S STORY page 13
Common sense would thus become uncommon sense.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 83
We will intuitively know how to handle situations
which used to baffle us.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 84
We have entered the world of the Spirit.

Chapter 1. BILL'S STORY page 13
I was to test my thinking
by the new God-consciousness within.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 87
Being still inexperienced
and having just made conscious contact with God,
it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times.

Higher Powered

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 85
If we have carefully followed directions,
we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us.

Chapter 4. WE AGNOSTICS page 46
As soon as we admitted the possible existence
of a Creative Intelligence,
a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things,
we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction,

Chapter 2. THERE IS A SOLUTION page 25
The central fact of our lives today
is the absolute CERTAINTY
that our Creator has entered into our hearts
and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 85
Much has already been said
about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction
from Him who has all knowledge and power.

Chapter 4. WE AGNOSTICS
page 50
This Power
has in each case accomplished the miraculous,
the humanly impossible.

Chapter 5. HOW IT WORKS page 63
This was only a beginning,
though if honestly and humbly made,
an effect,
sometimes a VERY great one,
was felt AT ONCE.

Chapter 5. HOW IT WORKS page 63
As we felt new power flow in,
as we enjoyed peace of mind,
as we discovered we could face life successfully,
as we became conscious of His presence,
we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 83
We will suddenly realize
that God is doing for us
what we could not do for ourselves.

Chapter 1. BILL'S STORY page 13
My friend promised when these things were done
I WOULD enter upon a new relationship with my Creator;

Chapter 4. WE AGNOSTICS
page 55
For faith in a Power greater than ourselves,
and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives,
are facts as old as man himself.

Step Two. - the Minimum Requirement

We needed to ask ourselves but ONE short question.
"Do I now believe,
or am I even willing to believe,
that there is a Power greater than myself?"

Chapter 1. BILL'S STORY page 12
Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning.

Tradition 2. It HAS to be a LOVING Power. Not JUGMENTAL or PUNISHING.
A Constructive not a Destructive force.

Look up the word POWER in the dictionary.
The word is POWER not God. Don't get them confused.
Mull over the word 'Power' and see what images come to mind..
Personally I like the visualization of 'Power' in the cinema. Like in the X men, star wars or star trek type things. They often try to dramatize 'Power' at some point in the storyline. This is a useful tool to help us meditate on what the word 'Power' means to us.

As soon as a man can say
that he does believe,
or is willing to believe,
we emphatically assure him that he is on his way.

It has been repeatedly proven among us
that upon this simple cornerstone
a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built.

Chapter 4. WE AGNOSTICS page 47
At the start, this was all we needed to commence spiritual growth,
to effect our first conscious relation
with God as we understood Him.

Chapter 4. WE AGNOSTICS
page 55
the consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you.

Here are some ideas for a concept of a Power Greater than Yourself

The Power of AA as a whole
The collective power of the group.
The Power that makes the Earth turn
Good Orderly Direction
Group Of Drunks
The sense of magnitude you get when you look at the stars at night.
The Universe..
Gravity

The more you think about it, the more you realize that everybody has a concept of a power greater than themselves.
Think what life would be like if the world was full of people that thought they were the most powerful entity in the universe. (!) weird huh?

Identifiying the God 'Instructions' in the Big Book

Chapter 1. BILL'S STORY page 14
I MUST turn in ALL things
to the Father of Light
who presides over us all.

Chapter 4. WE AGNOSTICS page 47
At the start, this was all we needed to commence spiritual growth,
to effect our first conscious relation
with God as we understood Him.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 85
Every day is a day when
we MUST carry the vision of God's will
into ALL of our activities

Chapter 11. A VISION FOR YOU page 164
God will determine that,
so you MUST remember
that your REAL reliance is always upon Him

Why does Religion not keep people sober?

Chapter 2. THERE IS A SOLUTION page 27
This hope, however, was destroyed by
the doctor's telling him
that while his religious convictions were very good,
in his case they did NOT spell
the necessary VITAL SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE.

So you see, according to the first 100 members
The thing that keeps them sober, is NOT religion,
It IS the Spiritual awakening 'as a result of doing the steps'.

So staying sober, and recovering are dependent upon getting a 'spiritual awakening 'as a result of doing the steps'.
NOT upon being 'religious'.

Chapter 7. WORKING WITH OTHERS page 93
To be vital,
faith MUST be accompanied by
self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action.

Here we see the first 100 members telling us another reason why religion (of itself) DOES NOT WORK.

In other words, even if you are Jesus's own little sunbeam, that unless you start ACTING like you are Jesus's little sunbeam, you are probably going to drink yourself to death.

This isn't confined to religious types. Have you heard the phrase 'Talk the talk versus walking the walk?'
AA is full of people who wax lyrical about the merits and wonders of AA, but whose primary purpose would not appear to be 'to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety'.
Actions speak much louder than words, and you can tell what people REALLY think by watching what they do.

And I think we can safely say that the first 100 members must have thought this point was pretty important!!! Because they then see fit to REPEAT it 4 TIMES!!
So trust me, IT'S IMPORTANT. (!)

Chapter 1. BILL'S STORY page 14
Faith without works was dead, he said.

Chapter 1. BILL'S STORY page 15
Then faith would be dead indeed.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 76
Faith without works is dead.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 88
Faith without works is dead.

Yeah right! Do I REALLY have to be 'Spiritual'?

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 83
The spiritual life is NOT a theory. We HAVE to LIVE it.

Chapter 4. WE AGNOSTICS page 44
We MUST find a spiritual basis of life -- or else.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 85
How can I best serve Thee?,
Thy will (not mine) be done."
These are thoughts which MUST go with us CONSTANTLY.

Chapter 3. MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM page 43
His defense MUST come from a Higher Power.

Chapter 1. BILL'S STORY page 14
I MUST turn in ALL things
to the Father of Light
who presides over us all.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 85
Every day is a day when
we MUST carry the vision of God's will
into ALL of our activities

THE DOCTOR'S OPINION page xxvi
their ideals MUST be grounded
in a power greater than themselves,
if they are to re-create their lives.

Chapter 11. A VISION FOR YOU page 164
God will determine that,
so you MUST remember
that your REAL reliance is always upon Him

Identifiying the 'Prayers' in the Big Book

Step Three Prayer
Chapter 5. HOW IT WORKS page 63
God, I offer myself to Thee --
to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them
may bear witness to those I would help
of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!

Step Seven Prayer
Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 76
My Creator,
I am now willing that you should have all of me,
good and bad.
I pray that you now remove from me
every single defect of character
which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.
Grant me strength, as I go out from here,
to do your bidding.
Amen.

Chapter 5. HOW IT WORKS page 70
To sum up about sex:
We earnestly pray for the right ideal,
for guidance in each questionable situation,
for sanity,
and for the strength to do the right thing.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 85
How can I best serve Thee?,
Thy will (not mine) be done."
These are thoughts which MUST go with us CONSTANTLY.

Chapter 1. BILL'S STORY page 13
I was to sit quietly when in doubt,
asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems
as He would have me.
Never was I to pray for myself,
except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others.
Then only might I expect to receive.
But that would be in great measure.

Chapter 5. HOW IT WORKS
page 59
Sought through prayer and meditation
to improve our conscious contact with God
as we understood Him ,
praying only for knowledge of His will for us
and the power to carry that out.

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION
page 86
Before we begin,
we ask God to direct our thinking,
especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity,
dishonest or self-seeking motives.

Will a better code of morals keep you sober?

p44
If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism,
many of us would have recovered LONG ago.
But we found that such codes and philosophies did NOT save us,
no matter how much we tried.
We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted,
in fact, we could will these things with ALL our might,
but the needed power wasn't there.
Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient;
they failed UTTERLY.
Lack of power, THAT was our dilemma

p42
Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore,
but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to.
Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power.
We HAD to have God's help.

Chapter 4. We Agnostics