Ken Wilber REALLY knows his subject, and he is a useful model for the likes of us (un-ordained 'normies') in that he has chosen NOT to live a monastic life, thereby showing us 'normal folks' that it IS possible to develop a spiritually committed practice AND go to work, have relationships, and pay the bills etc. Yeah I know he's a bit unusual, but it still serves as a useful example that you don't HAVE to live in a monastery to have a SERIOUS practice.
Yeah I know what he's saying sounds a bit pretentious if you're not used to hearing this kind of stuff, but this is what you would be 'taught' on any good step 11 retreat. But there are not many teachers as competent or available as Mr Wilber.
What can I say? I like him. But that's just me.
Mind you, don't envy having to deal with all that ego cr*p that goes with being such a well known teacher. You need to work pretty had on not letting the ego get out of hand. Yuk! I find the ego really Unattractive.
Whatever.
But yeah. I posted this because he as managed to summarize the core teaching of any mindfulness training in less than 5 minutes.
(Well 7 mins and 48 seconds actually)
!!
Amazing.
And I think he is able to do it in such a way that doesn't make it sound like airy fairy sh*te, or long winded mumbo jumbo.
But hey, that's why he's one of the best teachers around.
I've hardly read any of his books. They seem a bit too technical for me. But I read 'Grace and Grit' about how his first love (wife) died of breast cancer really young. Amazing story. Great if you are struggling with being a a carer of some sort or are dealing with illness.
But yeah. This is the meat and potatoes of any mindfulness training. He describes it better than I can. Think of it as a 'postcard' from the shores of step 11, for those of you that have yet not paid a visit to a decent retreat centre.
Step 11 is SO cool. It is like the finishing touch to the jigsaw. You can do it anytime, but is MUCH more revealing once you 'clear the decks' with the help of the first 9 steps.
By the way if what he says seems FAR too complicated, Eckhart Tolle says the SAME thing in the power of now but makes it sound simpler. Just takes longer to explain, thats all!
Right off to the gym!!!!
Have a great Thursday!
About Me
- An Irish Friend of Bill
- I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.
Showing posts with label Aims and objectives. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aims and objectives. Show all posts
Thursday, January 03, 2008
GREAT 7 min summary by Ken Wilber of Step 11 goals
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Don’t just do stuff out of habit or duty
Don't just speak to people out of habit or duty. Make a REAL effort to speak ONLY to people who 'nourish' you. Same goes for activities. Make a REAL effort to only do stuff which 'nourishes' you. Or like an old timer used to say 'Just do what makes you feel COMFORTABLE'
It sounds easy and obvious, but it's actually VERY difficult to practice consistently! It means you have to constantly re evaluate things. And one loses the sense of 'permanence' (which is illusory anyway). So it's quite challenging. To say the least! Refusing to do things out of habit means you question pretty much everything. Its the opposite of a comfortable rut.
It sounds easy and obvious, but it's actually VERY difficult to practice consistently! It means you have to constantly re evaluate things. And one loses the sense of 'permanence' (which is illusory anyway). So it's quite challenging. To say the least! Refusing to do things out of habit means you question pretty much everything. Its the opposite of a comfortable rut.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Harmful Speech: Communicating problems (in order to seek help) WITHOUT Ranting or Dumping
The desire to rant stems from some sort of problem that has arisen.
Pretending the problem does not exist is NOT correct.
That would be REPRESSION. PRETENCE. PRETENDING.
NONE of these are HONEST, so this choice does not comply with AA doctrine.
Addressing the problem.
Looking for a solution to the problem.
Asking for advice or feedback from others in relation to the problem.
Trying out different approaches that have been suggested,
and SEEING FOR YOURSELF what WORKS.
..Are ALL PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS which are ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY to address whatever problem we encounter.
So when I say 'don't rant' I DO NOT mean
'Say NOTHING about this problem you have encountered'.
'Just pray. But don't talk to me about it'.
'keep this problem to yourself'.
Its NOT about THE CHOICE TO SPEAK about the problem or not.
Its about HOW you speak about the problem.
Ie. It is about LEARNING TO COMMUNICATE YOUR PROBLEMS TO OTHERS IN A SKILLFUL WAY.
If something is 'skilful' it just means that your actions DO NOT HARM OTHERS.
Frequently. Newer AA's HAVE NO REAL UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT HARM IS.
This is usually because they HAVE NOT COMPLETED STEP 8.
Which is the first REAL education as to the EXACT nature of 'harm'.
Until then, AA;s rarely understand this concept.
They feel guilty for EVERYTHING
They feel guilty for not submitting to unacceptable demands
They are easily bullied into thinking they 'ought' to be doing something.
They can 'explode over a trifle'
They can INTERPRET MANY NEUTRAL OR HARMLESS comments or actions as an ATTACK
They are very inconsiderate in that they have VERY high expectations of others. They 'get the hump' when other people just DO NOT UNDERSTAND them.
So what I'm saying,
Is that they SEE harm where NONE EXISTS.
And they SEE NO HARM where harm REALLY DOES exist.
So. This is why it can be hard to explain to them how to,
COMMUNICATE THE PROBLEM WITHOUT RANTING, BLAMING, OR DUMPING.
The problem with ranting is the ATTITUDE of the speech.
Or the INCONSIDERATE NATURE of the speech.
I say to people who rant or dump.
"Do YOU like it, when people talk to you about a problem AS IF THE PROBLEM IS SOMEHOW YOUR FAULT. Or that there is an IMPLIED ATTITUDE that you are SUPPOSED to 'fix' them?"
Or
"Do YOU like it, when people just go ON and ON about 'how crummy their life is', for HOUR upon HOUR, just ranting and bleating?"
They ALWAYS say no.
I say "Well then, why do you KEEP DOING THAT to other people?"
"Don't you care about the way you are making them feel?"
"Why don't you TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED?"
Its surprising what a revolutionary concept this can be for some alcoholics.
They act in a terribly selfish and inconsiderate way, and then they wonder why they are driving people away.
Its very simple
Life is pretty much about CONSTANT THOUGHT OF OTHERS.
Failure to behave in considerate and thoughtful ways, means you will feel VERY ALONE.
Obviously not all alcoholics are like this, but we ALL have this to some extent. To this day, I can STILL see 'blind spots' where I am not engaging with the needs of others IN CERTAIN AREAS.
Its an ongoing 'battle' against the 'self'. The 'ego'.
Learning to be unselfish and kind to our fellow men is a lesson we will NEVER stop learning.
Pretending the problem does not exist is NOT correct.
That would be REPRESSION. PRETENCE. PRETENDING.
NONE of these are HONEST, so this choice does not comply with AA doctrine.
Addressing the problem.
Looking for a solution to the problem.
Asking for advice or feedback from others in relation to the problem.
Trying out different approaches that have been suggested,
and SEEING FOR YOURSELF what WORKS.
..Are ALL PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS which are ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY to address whatever problem we encounter.
So when I say 'don't rant' I DO NOT mean
'Say NOTHING about this problem you have encountered'.
'Just pray. But don't talk to me about it'.
'keep this problem to yourself'.
Its NOT about THE CHOICE TO SPEAK about the problem or not.
Its about HOW you speak about the problem.
Ie. It is about LEARNING TO COMMUNICATE YOUR PROBLEMS TO OTHERS IN A SKILLFUL WAY.
If something is 'skilful' it just means that your actions DO NOT HARM OTHERS.
Frequently. Newer AA's HAVE NO REAL UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT HARM IS.
This is usually because they HAVE NOT COMPLETED STEP 8.
Which is the first REAL education as to the EXACT nature of 'harm'.
Until then, AA;s rarely understand this concept.
They feel guilty for EVERYTHING
They feel guilty for not submitting to unacceptable demands
They are easily bullied into thinking they 'ought' to be doing something.
They can 'explode over a trifle'
They can INTERPRET MANY NEUTRAL OR HARMLESS comments or actions as an ATTACK
They are very inconsiderate in that they have VERY high expectations of others. They 'get the hump' when other people just DO NOT UNDERSTAND them.
So what I'm saying,
Is that they SEE harm where NONE EXISTS.
And they SEE NO HARM where harm REALLY DOES exist.
So. This is why it can be hard to explain to them how to,
COMMUNICATE THE PROBLEM WITHOUT RANTING, BLAMING, OR DUMPING.
The problem with ranting is the ATTITUDE of the speech.
Or the INCONSIDERATE NATURE of the speech.
I say to people who rant or dump.
"Do YOU like it, when people talk to you about a problem AS IF THE PROBLEM IS SOMEHOW YOUR FAULT. Or that there is an IMPLIED ATTITUDE that you are SUPPOSED to 'fix' them?"
Or
"Do YOU like it, when people just go ON and ON about 'how crummy their life is', for HOUR upon HOUR, just ranting and bleating?"
They ALWAYS say no.
I say "Well then, why do you KEEP DOING THAT to other people?"
"Don't you care about the way you are making them feel?"
"Why don't you TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED?"
Its surprising what a revolutionary concept this can be for some alcoholics.
They act in a terribly selfish and inconsiderate way, and then they wonder why they are driving people away.
Its very simple
Life is pretty much about CONSTANT THOUGHT OF OTHERS.
Failure to behave in considerate and thoughtful ways, means you will feel VERY ALONE.
Obviously not all alcoholics are like this, but we ALL have this to some extent. To this day, I can STILL see 'blind spots' where I am not engaging with the needs of others IN CERTAIN AREAS.
Its an ongoing 'battle' against the 'self'. The 'ego'.
Learning to be unselfish and kind to our fellow men is a lesson we will NEVER stop learning.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Becoming a 'Strong Vessel': Increasing your capacity for holding very powerful (good and bad) mind states in consciousness, without going mad!
Becoming a 'Strong Vessel' is like weightlifting, in that you steadily increase your capacity for ALL shades of emotional 'pressure'
Another guiding principle I use is contained in the poem by Thich Nhat Hanh called 'Call Me By My True Names', where he says,
'My joy is like Spring, so warm it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth. My pain is like a river of tears, so vast it fills the four oceans.'
What he is describing is not so much a 'swinging' mood, rather than a coexisting one. That's my interpretation anyway. Having seen him in person on various retreats he certainly does not appear on the surface to show any 'mood' as such other than benevolence. I think all senior monks and some lay practitioners develop a very strong 'constitution' for holding very powerful (good and bad) mind states in consciousness, which would drive the likes of you and me a bit (!!!) mad. it takes many years, sometimes many lifetimes to build up that kind of resilience and steadiness of the mind. The more they develop their practice, the more they can withstand HUGE emotional pressure. Its a bit like weightlifting, but with powerful or compelling emotions instead of weights. in that the more you practice, the bigger the weights you can lift with ease. From what I've been told anyway..!! They are VERY peculiar animals indeed, those monks.
Another guiding principle I use is contained in the poem by Thich Nhat Hanh called 'Call Me By My True Names', where he says,
'My joy is like Spring, so warm it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth. My pain is like a river of tears, so vast it fills the four oceans.'
What he is describing is not so much a 'swinging' mood, rather than a coexisting one. That's my interpretation anyway. Having seen him in person on various retreats he certainly does not appear on the surface to show any 'mood' as such other than benevolence. I think all senior monks and some lay practitioners develop a very strong 'constitution' for holding very powerful (good and bad) mind states in consciousness, which would drive the likes of you and me a bit (!!!) mad. it takes many years, sometimes many lifetimes to build up that kind of resilience and steadiness of the mind. The more they develop their practice, the more they can withstand HUGE emotional pressure. Its a bit like weightlifting, but with powerful or compelling emotions instead of weights. in that the more you practice, the bigger the weights you can lift with ease. From what I've been told anyway..!! They are VERY peculiar animals indeed, those monks.
'Steady containment' is what I call enlightenment
STEADY CONTAINMENT is (what I call) the 'ninja' way of holding (what can be VERY !!!!) unpleasant emotions in consciousness WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.
Steady containment is what I call enlightenment.
(The other way I have heard this described is as 'Becoming a strong vessel'. Its sort of similar and I might explain that more in another post.)
It is a place in the mind where there is PEACE OF MIND in the presence of ALL SHADES OF EMOTION OR BEING. It is ALL ALRIGHT. There are NO BIG DEALS. That DOESN'T mean there is no emotion. That just means that ALL emotions are OK. They are DO-able. There is NO judgment or anxiety about them. It is essentially TOTAL ACCEPTANCE of the HUMAN CONDITION. The 'normal' aspects and the 'weird' indescribable, and unfathomable aspects. There is acceptance of the UNKNOWN, and the anxiety that accompanies new growth when we embark on uncharted territory.
There is something INCREDIBLY tough about this type of mindset, but to describe it as 'tough' alone would be misleading, because it is also characterized as a terrible beauty or gentleness. It can be incredibly joyous. (See the Dalai Lama). Like when you see a great chef prepare a fabulous meal and make it look so natural and easy, monk-type-people make this joyous, balanced, non judgmental state look like a 'normal day'. No big deal. Par for the course.
That doesn't mean it is EASY for them. They are working INCREDIBLY hard, often in extremely difficult and uncharted territory. They are not pansies! They are going to ANY LENGTHS. Not a moment is wasted. They just don't make a 'big show' of all the effort they are making. That would be FAR to ego feeding. Like it says on the just for today card..
JUST FOR TODAY—I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and NOT GET FOUND OUT; if ANYBODY knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I DON'T WANT TO DO—just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it
But to cultivate such a mind can be the result of many lifetimes work. Some are just born that way. But we all have the capacity to try to reach for a more balanced way of relating to our (seemingly IMbalancing) inner experiences.
This is a teaching that can only really be FELT as opposed to UNDERSTOOD. Often you need to be in the presence of a teacher. But it IS possible to 'connect' with a teacher through words and books. I find myself 'connecting' with Thich Nhat Hanh through his written word. But we do not really 'choose' our teachers. The choice is made for us, by the way we respond to each one. I have listed book recommendations and retreat centers that are reliable.
The Dalia lama teaches all over the world. So does Thich Nhat Hanh, and the Lazy Lama. They are all 'top dollar' I have their teaching schedule permanently featured in my links menu.
Also there is a fabulous monastery in redwood valley, California. Free to stay! As far as I know. Also thy may be able to recommend other good retreat centers in America. If you live over there.
http://www.abhayagiri.org/
This site shows you where the worldwide chain of monasteries of the Theravada tradition are (Which I am lucky enough to have on my doorstep). They (meaning the senior monks and nuns) know ALL the cool meditation places to go. If I need any 'leads' this is where I go to get info. Why? Because they are WESTERN. A person who grew up in Thailand (for instance) has a completely different set of emotional programming than myself as a result of their cultural conditioning. Just look at the difference between the way the local populace responded to the Tsunami as compared to the way the locals responded to the Katrina in New Orleans. I rest my case..
http://www.forestsangha.org/
Its no different than doing AA. You could never 'learn' AA without going to meetings could you? You need to SEE the people face to face to believe it. Well the same is true about this. You learn it much more powerfully if you can find a person that you can be in the same room as who has this quality. That's why I tell Sponsees to go on retreat after step 9, so they can see a whole new 'WAY OF BEING' demonstrated by these types of people. The skills they have go FAR above what can be seem in an AA room. But perhaps if enough AA's supplement their programme with a highly developed step 11 practice, then these skills might filter into AA rooms. I DO know that my (former) Sponsees appear to be learning this lesson pretty well. The ones that have gone on retreats anyway. Some retreats are utter rubbish by the way. Organized by charlatans! Not ALL retreats are good! Some are just not very good, and will only really do a half baked job, or will just be too tough, or imbalanced in the areas of development. You need all round skills really. 'Heart' practice and 'collecting/ quieting the mind' practice
Right I'm off! Too long. Gym, Library, the usual!!!
Hope you are all well and all that... Thanks for everything. You are a pretty cool bunch!
Steady containment is what I call enlightenment.
(The other way I have heard this described is as 'Becoming a strong vessel'. Its sort of similar and I might explain that more in another post.)
It is a place in the mind where there is PEACE OF MIND in the presence of ALL SHADES OF EMOTION OR BEING. It is ALL ALRIGHT. There are NO BIG DEALS. That DOESN'T mean there is no emotion. That just means that ALL emotions are OK. They are DO-able. There is NO judgment or anxiety about them. It is essentially TOTAL ACCEPTANCE of the HUMAN CONDITION. The 'normal' aspects and the 'weird' indescribable, and unfathomable aspects. There is acceptance of the UNKNOWN, and the anxiety that accompanies new growth when we embark on uncharted territory.
There is something INCREDIBLY tough about this type of mindset, but to describe it as 'tough' alone would be misleading, because it is also characterized as a terrible beauty or gentleness. It can be incredibly joyous. (See the Dalai Lama). Like when you see a great chef prepare a fabulous meal and make it look so natural and easy, monk-type-people make this joyous, balanced, non judgmental state look like a 'normal day'. No big deal. Par for the course.
That doesn't mean it is EASY for them. They are working INCREDIBLY hard, often in extremely difficult and uncharted territory. They are not pansies! They are going to ANY LENGTHS. Not a moment is wasted. They just don't make a 'big show' of all the effort they are making. That would be FAR to ego feeding. Like it says on the just for today card..
JUST FOR TODAY—I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and NOT GET FOUND OUT; if ANYBODY knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I DON'T WANT TO DO—just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it
But to cultivate such a mind can be the result of many lifetimes work. Some are just born that way. But we all have the capacity to try to reach for a more balanced way of relating to our (seemingly IMbalancing) inner experiences.
This is a teaching that can only really be FELT as opposed to UNDERSTOOD. Often you need to be in the presence of a teacher. But it IS possible to 'connect' with a teacher through words and books. I find myself 'connecting' with Thich Nhat Hanh through his written word. But we do not really 'choose' our teachers. The choice is made for us, by the way we respond to each one. I have listed book recommendations and retreat centers that are reliable.
The Dalia lama teaches all over the world. So does Thich Nhat Hanh, and the Lazy Lama. They are all 'top dollar' I have their teaching schedule permanently featured in my links menu.
Also there is a fabulous monastery in redwood valley, California. Free to stay! As far as I know. Also thy may be able to recommend other good retreat centers in America. If you live over there.
http://www.abhayagiri.org/
This site shows you where the worldwide chain of monasteries of the Theravada tradition are (Which I am lucky enough to have on my doorstep). They (meaning the senior monks and nuns) know ALL the cool meditation places to go. If I need any 'leads' this is where I go to get info. Why? Because they are WESTERN. A person who grew up in Thailand (for instance) has a completely different set of emotional programming than myself as a result of their cultural conditioning. Just look at the difference between the way the local populace responded to the Tsunami as compared to the way the locals responded to the Katrina in New Orleans. I rest my case..
http://www.forestsangha.org/
Its no different than doing AA. You could never 'learn' AA without going to meetings could you? You need to SEE the people face to face to believe it. Well the same is true about this. You learn it much more powerfully if you can find a person that you can be in the same room as who has this quality. That's why I tell Sponsees to go on retreat after step 9, so they can see a whole new 'WAY OF BEING' demonstrated by these types of people. The skills they have go FAR above what can be seem in an AA room. But perhaps if enough AA's supplement their programme with a highly developed step 11 practice, then these skills might filter into AA rooms. I DO know that my (former) Sponsees appear to be learning this lesson pretty well. The ones that have gone on retreats anyway. Some retreats are utter rubbish by the way. Organized by charlatans! Not ALL retreats are good! Some are just not very good, and will only really do a half baked job, or will just be too tough, or imbalanced in the areas of development. You need all round skills really. 'Heart' practice and 'collecting/ quieting the mind' practice
Right I'm off! Too long. Gym, Library, the usual!!!
Hope you are all well and all that... Thanks for everything. You are a pretty cool bunch!
Sunday, January 21, 2007
The 'North Face' NEVER goes away, so learn to enjoy the journey ANYWAY
We ALL have our mountains to climb. It is all just part of life. You get used to accepting the reality of that after a while. There will ALWAYS be some sort of (what I call) 'north face' to deal with. It's just the aspect of the north face changes from year to year. sometimes its work, sometimes its relationship, sometimes its spiritual growth, sometimes its about where we live, sometimes it's the way we relate to AA, or the programme of AA. It's always something!
Once you get used to the idea that there will ALWAYS be challenging and confronting work to do, it makes it easier to try to enjoy the journey by doing stuff to make it fun. What I mean is once you get used to the idea that we are never 'cured' of the difficulties of life, you stop resenting it, and learn to try to enjoy the bittersweet journey.
It is always possible to access joyful mind states if we have wholesome things in our lives. good people, good spiritual practice, and ANYTHING that makes us feel good to be alive. Just looking at a flower will bring up feelings of joy. The trick is incorporating these aspects into our lives, to work against the necessary challenges we have to make in order to move forwards in our lives. We cant just do 'serious' growth work all the time. We'd drive ourselves mad if we did! We have to have SOME fun. There's a lot of mucky work to do, so if we don't experience real joy in some form or other, the task will become overwhelming. So eating well, exercise, and rest, and fun stuff are vital in order to keep yourself going.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata
The reason I mention this is because some people think that when things are going 'wrong' that this means that they are 'off course'. They aren't. (Well sometimes they are, but that's another story!) But usually it is just your 'next lesson' in life. No you are NOT mad, 'wrong', about to drink, etc etc. you are just human and these are LIFE LESSONS. And no amount of attendance in AA meetings will make them disappear!!!
This is what being a human being is all about! Its a LEARNING PROCESS! And the lessons can often feel very personal. That's probably because they are! There is NOTHING wrong with this.
When you are REALLY new, the lessons can sometimes be very obvious and easy to fix, but that's what sponsors are for. After step 9, they can be a little bit more perplexing to solve! But that's life! Its just the deal with being a human being. Nothing to be concerned about. What I mean is that the 'North face' is NO BIG DEAL. It is NOT necessary to have an ANXIOUS relationship towards it. You can be accepting and peaceful about the 'north face'.
(I might add, if you feel like crap but you have not done the first 9 steps, or have a sponsor, or go to meetings, then the reason you feel lousy is because you are not working the programme!!!! This post addresses those who ARE following AA suggestions, but think they are getting it wrong because they experience difficulty sometimes.)
Right I'm off to the gym then library!! I am skiving by going online!! I shouldn't really be posting! Nice to see you all and thank you for your kind and supportive comments!
Once you get used to the idea that there will ALWAYS be challenging and confronting work to do, it makes it easier to try to enjoy the journey by doing stuff to make it fun. What I mean is once you get used to the idea that we are never 'cured' of the difficulties of life, you stop resenting it, and learn to try to enjoy the bittersweet journey.
It is always possible to access joyful mind states if we have wholesome things in our lives. good people, good spiritual practice, and ANYTHING that makes us feel good to be alive. Just looking at a flower will bring up feelings of joy. The trick is incorporating these aspects into our lives, to work against the necessary challenges we have to make in order to move forwards in our lives. We cant just do 'serious' growth work all the time. We'd drive ourselves mad if we did! We have to have SOME fun. There's a lot of mucky work to do, so if we don't experience real joy in some form or other, the task will become overwhelming. So eating well, exercise, and rest, and fun stuff are vital in order to keep yourself going.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata
The reason I mention this is because some people think that when things are going 'wrong' that this means that they are 'off course'. They aren't. (Well sometimes they are, but that's another story!) But usually it is just your 'next lesson' in life. No you are NOT mad, 'wrong', about to drink, etc etc. you are just human and these are LIFE LESSONS. And no amount of attendance in AA meetings will make them disappear!!!
This is what being a human being is all about! Its a LEARNING PROCESS! And the lessons can often feel very personal. That's probably because they are! There is NOTHING wrong with this.
When you are REALLY new, the lessons can sometimes be very obvious and easy to fix, but that's what sponsors are for. After step 9, they can be a little bit more perplexing to solve! But that's life! Its just the deal with being a human being. Nothing to be concerned about. What I mean is that the 'North face' is NO BIG DEAL. It is NOT necessary to have an ANXIOUS relationship towards it. You can be accepting and peaceful about the 'north face'.
(I might add, if you feel like crap but you have not done the first 9 steps, or have a sponsor, or go to meetings, then the reason you feel lousy is because you are not working the programme!!!! This post addresses those who ARE following AA suggestions, but think they are getting it wrong because they experience difficulty sometimes.)
Right I'm off to the gym then library!! I am skiving by going online!! I shouldn't really be posting! Nice to see you all and thank you for your kind and supportive comments!
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Imagine
A very important person is watching your every action, listening to your every word, and knows your every thought. That person is you.
Imagine yourself a year from now, looking back on today. Imagine your future self being exceedingly thankful for the way you lived this day. Then step forward and live today with that in mind. Think, speak and act in such a way that the person you will become inherits many positive benefits from the person you are right now. Confidence, integrity, strength and effectiveness do not simply appear out of nowhere. They are built by the way you live your life. And now is your opportunity to live in a powerful, positive way that will benefit your life for a long time to come. Now is your chance to make your future self thankful for the empowering paths you choose to take.
-- Ralph Marston
This was shamelessly copied from a post on DAAves Blog I think it's really cool so I've copied it here.
Imagine yourself a year from now, looking back on today. Imagine your future self being exceedingly thankful for the way you lived this day. Then step forward and live today with that in mind. Think, speak and act in such a way that the person you will become inherits many positive benefits from the person you are right now. Confidence, integrity, strength and effectiveness do not simply appear out of nowhere. They are built by the way you live your life. And now is your opportunity to live in a powerful, positive way that will benefit your life for a long time to come. Now is your chance to make your future self thankful for the empowering paths you choose to take.
-- Ralph Marston
This was shamelessly copied from a post on DAAves Blog I think it's really cool so I've copied it here.
'Too good to be true'. Dealing with Success, and love from other people.
I saw this comment on tkdjunkie's blog. and LOVED it so I'm quoting it here.
tkdjunkie. said
'Blessings are often first greeted with resentment and suspicion. In my mind, anything that seems too good to be true is too good to be true. Anything that seems to exceed my expectations must be a ticking time bomb waiting to go off the moment I trust it.'
This is a NEAR PERFECT description of the (typically negative) 'alcoholic' reaction to success in life, and love from others.
Basically we HAVE A LOT TO LEARN about having a positive attitude to SUCCESS and RECEIVING LOVE from others.
RECEIVING ANYTHING really.
I have found that the more 'success' I experience in recovery, the MORE I experience this type of thinking.
Success is tough!
It brings up NEUROSIS, INSECURITY, INFERIORITY, and FEAR OF TRUSTING AND LETTING GO
Stuff like:.
I don't deserve this.
'When a person said they liked me, I knew one of two things. They were either LYING or they were STUPID.'
Fear of death
Fear of 'losing everything'
'a ticking time bomb waiting to go off the moment I trust it.' (tkdjunkie)
Paralysis because you think ANYTHING might trigger a 'collapse'
This is because we are habitually:
Negative. Cynical, fear the worst, expect 'the sky to fall in', distrust other peoples motives, think very little of ourselves and other people. Remind ourselves of our failures.
We need to learn to:
Think better of others and ourselves. Assume other peoples motives are GOOD, not bad. Assume we ARE loveable, even if we cannot see it at all. Say ENCOURAGING things to ourselves. Focus on the positive. Remind ourselves of our little victories.
Trust!!
Trust ourselves
Trust other people. (Well the nice ones anyway!) People are much nicer than we think they are!
tkdjunkie. said
'Blessings are often first greeted with resentment and suspicion. In my mind, anything that seems too good to be true is too good to be true. Anything that seems to exceed my expectations must be a ticking time bomb waiting to go off the moment I trust it.'
This is a NEAR PERFECT description of the (typically negative) 'alcoholic' reaction to success in life, and love from others.
Basically we HAVE A LOT TO LEARN about having a positive attitude to SUCCESS and RECEIVING LOVE from others.
RECEIVING ANYTHING really.
I have found that the more 'success' I experience in recovery, the MORE I experience this type of thinking.
Success is tough!
It brings up NEUROSIS, INSECURITY, INFERIORITY, and FEAR OF TRUSTING AND LETTING GO
Stuff like:.
I don't deserve this.
'When a person said they liked me, I knew one of two things. They were either LYING or they were STUPID.'
Fear of death
Fear of 'losing everything'
'a ticking time bomb waiting to go off the moment I trust it.' (tkdjunkie)
Paralysis because you think ANYTHING might trigger a 'collapse'
This is because we are habitually:
Negative. Cynical, fear the worst, expect 'the sky to fall in', distrust other peoples motives, think very little of ourselves and other people. Remind ourselves of our failures.
We need to learn to:
Think better of others and ourselves. Assume other peoples motives are GOOD, not bad. Assume we ARE loveable, even if we cannot see it at all. Say ENCOURAGING things to ourselves. Focus on the positive. Remind ourselves of our little victories.
Trust!!
Trust ourselves
Trust other people. (Well the nice ones anyway!) People are much nicer than we think they are!
Sticking with the Winners
there are LOADS of nutcases in AA.
Horse thieves, adulterers, 13th steppers, deeply nasty business people, out and out liars, dangerously violent, wife beaters, you name it!!
I chose a home group that was very 'by the book', very 'obedient' to the programme. Some might have called it a bit repressed. But I think when you're dealing with a lot of SERIOUSLY crazy people. And a lot of them were, (including my mad new self!), that a little repression is actually quite a good thing!!
Men stuck with the men, women stuck with the women. People just talked about the programme. They were very ETHICAL. We had it drummed into us the importance of being HONEST IN ALL OUR AFFAIRS. Etc.
Basically what I am saying is STICK WITH THE WINNERS. Choose meetings based on PRINCIPLES NOT PERSONALITIES. Ie NOT because they are your 'mates', but because they HAVE THE MAXIMUM BENEFIT OF THE PROGRAMME OF RECOVERY that you have found in your locale. I had many hundreds of meetings to choose from, but only 2 meetings seemed to be really 'well'. That's 2 meetings out of 600! Its different now! Thank god. But good recovery isn't very common or widespread. In my opinion!!! (meaning I'm not speaking as though what I'm saying is a statement of fact)
Now I don't care what other AA's do because I feel good even if I never go to meetings. But when I was new and my wellbeing was dependent on attendance at AA meetings, I always went TO THE VERY BEST meetings I could find. 'best' was measured by the CORRELEATION between what they were doing and saying, and what was in the aa programme. Meaning how 'HAPPY JOYOUS and FREE' they were. How RECOVERED they were. How much they KNEW THEIR SUBJECT. How COMMITTED they were to the AA MESSAGE, as opposed to the MANY other 'messages' out there. 'Hazeltwig' and such like...
So you have two choices. Either stick with the horse thieves and bite your lip, or find a meeting WITH A MUCH MORE SUCCESFUL PRACTICE OF THE LIFE SKILL OF HONESTY. Who essentially are 'practicing the principles in all their affairs'. I find most AA's very disappointing to be honest. But if you look around, you'll find some cool people and they are worth the effort of finding.
People who do a lot of service are always a good place to start looking. Look in the local telephone office. The volunteers there might be nice.
This is what's called 'sticking with the winners'. Its VERY important in my opinion. There's NO WAY I would have the recovery I have, if I had not been RUTHLESS about practicing this throughout my recovery.
It's not easy to do! It can feel 'boring' going to 'well' meetings as they all seem so meek and mild compared to the drama queens and stories of sufferance you hear elsewhere. But there is always one total loony in even the most 'well' meeting, so you never really escape the life dramas!
Horse thieves, adulterers, 13th steppers, deeply nasty business people, out and out liars, dangerously violent, wife beaters, you name it!!
I chose a home group that was very 'by the book', very 'obedient' to the programme. Some might have called it a bit repressed. But I think when you're dealing with a lot of SERIOUSLY crazy people. And a lot of them were, (including my mad new self!), that a little repression is actually quite a good thing!!
Men stuck with the men, women stuck with the women. People just talked about the programme. They were very ETHICAL. We had it drummed into us the importance of being HONEST IN ALL OUR AFFAIRS. Etc.
Basically what I am saying is STICK WITH THE WINNERS. Choose meetings based on PRINCIPLES NOT PERSONALITIES. Ie NOT because they are your 'mates', but because they HAVE THE MAXIMUM BENEFIT OF THE PROGRAMME OF RECOVERY that you have found in your locale. I had many hundreds of meetings to choose from, but only 2 meetings seemed to be really 'well'. That's 2 meetings out of 600! Its different now! Thank god. But good recovery isn't very common or widespread. In my opinion!!! (meaning I'm not speaking as though what I'm saying is a statement of fact)
Now I don't care what other AA's do because I feel good even if I never go to meetings. But when I was new and my wellbeing was dependent on attendance at AA meetings, I always went TO THE VERY BEST meetings I could find. 'best' was measured by the CORRELEATION between what they were doing and saying, and what was in the aa programme. Meaning how 'HAPPY JOYOUS and FREE' they were. How RECOVERED they were. How much they KNEW THEIR SUBJECT. How COMMITTED they were to the AA MESSAGE, as opposed to the MANY other 'messages' out there. 'Hazeltwig' and such like...
So you have two choices. Either stick with the horse thieves and bite your lip, or find a meeting WITH A MUCH MORE SUCCESFUL PRACTICE OF THE LIFE SKILL OF HONESTY. Who essentially are 'practicing the principles in all their affairs'. I find most AA's very disappointing to be honest. But if you look around, you'll find some cool people and they are worth the effort of finding.
People who do a lot of service are always a good place to start looking. Look in the local telephone office. The volunteers there might be nice.
This is what's called 'sticking with the winners'. Its VERY important in my opinion. There's NO WAY I would have the recovery I have, if I had not been RUTHLESS about practicing this throughout my recovery.
It's not easy to do! It can feel 'boring' going to 'well' meetings as they all seem so meek and mild compared to the drama queens and stories of sufferance you hear elsewhere. But there is always one total loony in even the most 'well' meeting, so you never really escape the life dramas!
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Happy Big Book Quotes
We are SURE God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. p133
We aren't a glum lot. p132
We ABSOLUTELY INSIST on enjoying life. p132
There is, however, a VAST amount of FUN about it all. p16
The joy of living we REALLY have, even under pressure and difficulty. p15
We think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness. p132
If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. p132
When ALL other measure failed, work with another alcoholic WOULD save the day. p15
On talking to a man there, I would be AMAZINGLY lifted up and set on my feet. p15
We, (who have RECOVERED from serious drinking,) are MIRACLES of MENTAL HEALTH. p133
There are those, too, who suffer from GRAVE emotional and mental disorders, but MANY of them DO recover IF they have the capacity to be HONEST. p58
It is a design for living that WORKS in ROUGH going. p15
There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us. p15
Our troubles, we think, are basically of our OWN making. p62
It is CLEAR that WE made our own misery. p133
Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery. p133
We CANNOT subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears,
though it once was just that for many of us. p133
We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations,
nor do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders. p132
Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we burst into merriment
over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past. But why shouldn't we laugh? We have recovered. p132
The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. p152
When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than ANYTHING we could have planned. p100
I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before. My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. I would not go back to it even if I could. p43
Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances! p100
There exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is INDESCRIBABLY WONDERFUL. p17
We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed. p25
If you persist, REMARKABLE things will happen. p100
You WILL find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination WILL be fired. p151
Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now. p16
Our joy in escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways. p17
Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. p129
Everybody know that those in bad health, and those who seldom play, do not laugh much. p132
Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he ISN'T HAPPY about his sobriety. p152
We aren't a glum lot. p132
We ABSOLUTELY INSIST on enjoying life. p132
There is, however, a VAST amount of FUN about it all. p16
The joy of living we REALLY have, even under pressure and difficulty. p15
We think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness. p132
If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. p132
When ALL other measure failed, work with another alcoholic WOULD save the day. p15
On talking to a man there, I would be AMAZINGLY lifted up and set on my feet. p15
We, (who have RECOVERED from serious drinking,) are MIRACLES of MENTAL HEALTH. p133
There are those, too, who suffer from GRAVE emotional and mental disorders, but MANY of them DO recover IF they have the capacity to be HONEST. p58
It is a design for living that WORKS in ROUGH going. p15
There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us. p15
Our troubles, we think, are basically of our OWN making. p62
It is CLEAR that WE made our own misery. p133
Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery. p133
We CANNOT subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears,
though it once was just that for many of us. p133
We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations,
nor do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders. p132
Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we burst into merriment
over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past. But why shouldn't we laugh? We have recovered. p132
The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. p152
When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than ANYTHING we could have planned. p100
I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before. My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. I would not go back to it even if I could. p43
Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances! p100
There exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is INDESCRIBABLY WONDERFUL. p17
We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed. p25
If you persist, REMARKABLE things will happen. p100
You WILL find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination WILL be fired. p151
Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now. p16
Our joy in escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways. p17
Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. p129
Everybody know that those in bad health, and those who seldom play, do not laugh much. p132
Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he ISN'T HAPPY about his sobriety. p152
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Dance like no one is Looking
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire.
The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. At times it seems to me that life is about to begin - real life. There always seems to be an obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time to be served, a debt to be paid, then life would begin.
The reality is these obstacles are our life and accepting this reality allows us to see, there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way. So treasure every moment, for time waits for no one. Stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you are married, until you get divorced, until Friday, until your car or home is paid off, until winter, spring, summer or fall, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination
So work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's looking.
The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. At times it seems to me that life is about to begin - real life. There always seems to be an obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time to be served, a debt to be paid, then life would begin.
The reality is these obstacles are our life and accepting this reality allows us to see, there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way. So treasure every moment, for time waits for no one. Stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you are married, until you get divorced, until Friday, until your car or home is paid off, until winter, spring, summer or fall, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination
So work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's looking.
It's Never Too Late To Have A Happy Childhood
I like the motto ChildLIKE not ChildISH.
Heres something I found ages ago which explains it well.
Certificate of the Right to Play
By this Certificate, know ye that:
___________________________________ is a lifetime member and in good standing in the Society of Childlike Persons and forever entitled to:
Walk in the rain, jump in mud puddles, collect rainbows, smell flowers, blow bubbles, stop along the way, build sandcastles, watch the sun and the moon and the stars come out, say hello to everyone, go barefoot, go on adventures, sing in the shower, have a merry heart, read children's books, act silly, take bubble baths, get new sneakers, hold hands and hug and kiss, dance, fly kites, laugh and cry for the health of it.
Wander around, feel scared, feel sad, feel mad, feel happy, give up worry and guilt and shame. Say yes, say no, say the magic words, ask lots of questions, ride bicycles, draw and paint, see things differently, fall down and get up again, talk with animals, look up at the sky.
Trust the universe, stay up late, climb trees, take naps, do nothing, daydream, play with toys, have pillow fights, learn new stuff, get excited about everything, be a clown, enjoy having a body, listen to music, find out how things work, make up new rules, tell stories.
Save the world, make friends with other kids on the block and do anything else that brings more happiness, celebration, relaxation, communication, health, joy, love, creativity, pleasure, abundance, great self-esteem, courage, balance, spontaneity, passion, beauty, peace and life energy to the above named member, and to the other human beings on this planet.
Further, the above named member is hereby officially authorized to frequent amusement parks, beaches, meadows, mountain tops, swimming pools, forests, playgrounds, picnic areas, summer camps, birthday parties, circuses, cookie shops, ice cream parlors, theatres, aquariums, museums, planetariums, toy stores, festivals, and other places where children of all ages come to play.
And - is encouraged to always remember the motto of the Society of Childlike Persons:
It's Never Too Late
To Have A Happy Childhood
Heres something I found ages ago which explains it well.
Certificate of the Right to Play
By this Certificate, know ye that:
___________________________________ is a lifetime member and in good standing in the Society of Childlike Persons and forever entitled to:
Walk in the rain, jump in mud puddles, collect rainbows, smell flowers, blow bubbles, stop along the way, build sandcastles, watch the sun and the moon and the stars come out, say hello to everyone, go barefoot, go on adventures, sing in the shower, have a merry heart, read children's books, act silly, take bubble baths, get new sneakers, hold hands and hug and kiss, dance, fly kites, laugh and cry for the health of it.
Wander around, feel scared, feel sad, feel mad, feel happy, give up worry and guilt and shame. Say yes, say no, say the magic words, ask lots of questions, ride bicycles, draw and paint, see things differently, fall down and get up again, talk with animals, look up at the sky.
Trust the universe, stay up late, climb trees, take naps, do nothing, daydream, play with toys, have pillow fights, learn new stuff, get excited about everything, be a clown, enjoy having a body, listen to music, find out how things work, make up new rules, tell stories.
Save the world, make friends with other kids on the block and do anything else that brings more happiness, celebration, relaxation, communication, health, joy, love, creativity, pleasure, abundance, great self-esteem, courage, balance, spontaneity, passion, beauty, peace and life energy to the above named member, and to the other human beings on this planet.
Further, the above named member is hereby officially authorized to frequent amusement parks, beaches, meadows, mountain tops, swimming pools, forests, playgrounds, picnic areas, summer camps, birthday parties, circuses, cookie shops, ice cream parlors, theatres, aquariums, museums, planetariums, toy stores, festivals, and other places where children of all ages come to play.
And - is encouraged to always remember the motto of the Society of Childlike Persons:
It's Never Too Late
To Have A Happy Childhood
Live Each Day to the Fullest
Live each day to the fullest. Get the most from each hour, each day, and each age of your life. Then you can look forward with confidence, and back without regrets.
Be yourself... but be your best self. Dare to be different and follow your own star.
Don't be afraid to be happy ..enjoy what is beautiful. Love with all your heart and soul. Believe that those you love, love you.
When you are faced with decision, make that decision as wisely as possible, then forget it. The moment of absolute certainty never arrives.
And above all, remember that God helps those who help themselves. Act as if everything depended on you And pray as if everything depended on God.
Author Unknown
Be yourself... but be your best self. Dare to be different and follow your own star.
Don't be afraid to be happy ..enjoy what is beautiful. Love with all your heart and soul. Believe that those you love, love you.
When you are faced with decision, make that decision as wisely as possible, then forget it. The moment of absolute certainty never arrives.
And above all, remember that God helps those who help themselves. Act as if everything depended on you And pray as if everything depended on God.
Author Unknown
Monday, October 02, 2006
My Favorite Old Timer's Sayings
THE NEWCOMER IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE ROOM
Take it on TRUST
Just do what makes you feel COMFORTABLE
It’s a cinch an inch, but it’s hard by the yard
We are SURE God wants us to be happy, joyous and free.
(in reference to statements from the Big Book) -Doesn't say, 'except for Mary, or John, or David'.
The more you put in, the more you get out
The people that matter don’t mind, and the people that mind, don’t matter
Those who do NOT RECOVER are people who cannot or will not COMPLETELY give themselves to THIS simple program. (not the Hazeltwig Programme)
EVERY time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with US
Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our CONSTANT thought of others and how we may help meet their needs
Wear life like a loose garment, not like a hair shirt!
Just do your lousy best
Wise people learn from their own mistakes. Smart people learn from other people’s
What would be the LOVING thing to do?
Stick with the winners
(On choosing Sponsors) Have they got what you want?
Do they look as though they are enjoying their sobriety?
What are they like in the traffic?
Are they comfortable in their own skin?
The good is the enemy of the best
Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of MAXIMUM helpfulness to others
Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God WILL, (not might) keep you unharmed
Its better to be in AA pretending to be an alcoholic, than to be 'out there', pretending you're not
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice
(on advice about talking in meetings) Its says we ought to share in a 'GENERAL' way. Not a blow by blow account!
Feeling without action is Sentimentality. Action without feeling is an empty gesture
Not entirely sure about these ones..
If life was fair, you would be dead'
You can’t transmit something you haven’t got
Love people and use things, not love things and use people
Sick and tired of being sick and tired
Look but don't stare
Take it on TRUST
Just do what makes you feel COMFORTABLE
It’s a cinch an inch, but it’s hard by the yard
We are SURE God wants us to be happy, joyous and free.
(in reference to statements from the Big Book) -Doesn't say, 'except for Mary, or John, or David'.
The more you put in, the more you get out
The people that matter don’t mind, and the people that mind, don’t matter
Those who do NOT RECOVER are people who cannot or will not COMPLETELY give themselves to THIS simple program. (not the Hazeltwig Programme)
EVERY time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with US
Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our CONSTANT thought of others and how we may help meet their needs
Wear life like a loose garment, not like a hair shirt!
Just do your lousy best
Wise people learn from their own mistakes. Smart people learn from other people’s
What would be the LOVING thing to do?
Stick with the winners
(On choosing Sponsors) Have they got what you want?
Do they look as though they are enjoying their sobriety?
What are they like in the traffic?
Are they comfortable in their own skin?
The good is the enemy of the best
Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of MAXIMUM helpfulness to others
Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God WILL, (not might) keep you unharmed
Its better to be in AA pretending to be an alcoholic, than to be 'out there', pretending you're not
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice
(on advice about talking in meetings) Its says we ought to share in a 'GENERAL' way. Not a blow by blow account!
Feeling without action is Sentimentality. Action without feeling is an empty gesture
Not entirely sure about these ones..
If life was fair, you would be dead'
You can’t transmit something you haven’t got
Love people and use things, not love things and use people
Sick and tired of being sick and tired
Look but don't stare
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Monday, June 05, 2006
Balanced Between Repression & Indulgence
We walk a VERY fine line between the two excesses of both Repression and Indulgence.
Both of which are WRONG
And lead to emotional imbalances
It is a balancing act you perfect, every day
For the rest of your life
There are no days off!
Both of which are WRONG
And lead to emotional imbalances
It is a balancing act you perfect, every day
For the rest of your life
There are no days off!
Be Guided by RESULTS not Reasoning
Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?
I call it Results-Led as opposed to Ideas-Led
An idea may be compelling, but unless it patently WORKS, don't 'buy' it.
Reasoing, Rhetoric, Ideas, Arguments, they're all the same.
Follow what WORKS, and not much else.
Do more of what works
Do less of what doesn't
Make decisions and steer your life based on results.
Be guided by what makes you happy and makes your life better. No matter what it is.
Don't get caught up in the 'idea' of the thing.
Concentrate on how the action is affecting your life.
If your life is getting better, easier, happier, then it MUST be a GOOD thing.
If your life is getting worse, harder, more miserable, then it MUST be a BAD thing.
This does NOT count for things like going to the gym.
Going to the gym is an effort, but feels great after we do it.
Delayed gratification etc.
I call it Results-Led as opposed to Ideas-Led
An idea may be compelling, but unless it patently WORKS, don't 'buy' it.
Reasoing, Rhetoric, Ideas, Arguments, they're all the same.
Follow what WORKS, and not much else.
Do more of what works
Do less of what doesn't
Make decisions and steer your life based on results.
Be guided by what makes you happy and makes your life better. No matter what it is.
Don't get caught up in the 'idea' of the thing.
Concentrate on how the action is affecting your life.
If your life is getting better, easier, happier, then it MUST be a GOOD thing.
If your life is getting worse, harder, more miserable, then it MUST be a BAD thing.
This does NOT count for things like going to the gym.
Going to the gym is an effort, but feels great after we do it.
Delayed gratification etc.
As Gentle as Doves, but as Wise as Serpents
This was Jesus's advice to his Disciples when they went out to carry 'their message'.
It's VERY smart advice in my opinion!
YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE
Please do NOT leave your brains at the door when it comes to being Spiritual!!
This is NOT about some fluffy, spaced-out, cloud cuckoo land where we all hold hands and 'share' (Pass the bucket!)
Being GULLIBLE is NOT Spiritual
TRUSTING BLINDLY AND UNTHINKINGLY is NOT Spiritual
NOT USING YOUR BRAIN is NOT Spiritual
Please use your Brain!!
NOT in the service of your various neuroses!
But in the service or understanding, awareness, and wisdom.
Chapter 9. THE FAMILY AFTERWARD
page 130
We have come to believe
He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him,
but that our feet ought to be FIRMLY PLANTED ON EARTH.
Chapter 9. THE FAMILY AFTERWARD
page 130
We have found nothing incompatible
between a powerful spiritual experience
and a life of SANE AND HAPPY USEFULNESS.
It's VERY smart advice in my opinion!
YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE
Please do NOT leave your brains at the door when it comes to being Spiritual!!
This is NOT about some fluffy, spaced-out, cloud cuckoo land where we all hold hands and 'share' (Pass the bucket!)
Being GULLIBLE is NOT Spiritual
TRUSTING BLINDLY AND UNTHINKINGLY is NOT Spiritual
NOT USING YOUR BRAIN is NOT Spiritual
Please use your Brain!!
NOT in the service of your various neuroses!
But in the service or understanding, awareness, and wisdom.
Chapter 9. THE FAMILY AFTERWARD
page 130
We have come to believe
He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him,
but that our feet ought to be FIRMLY PLANTED ON EARTH.
Chapter 9. THE FAMILY AFTERWARD
page 130
We have found nothing incompatible
between a powerful spiritual experience
and a life of SANE AND HAPPY USEFULNESS.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
The Definition of Thorough
1 Exhaustively complete: a thorough search.
2 Painstakingly accurate or careful: thorough research.
3 Absolute; utter: a thorough pleasure.
So, it looks like the first 100 members are telling you
in NO uncertain terms
that in order for this programme to work
ie meaning 'you have recovered'
as opposed to being what they call 'dry' or 'like a boy whistling in the dark'
You need to be
Exhaustively complete
Painstakingly accurate
and Absolute
in your execution of the instructions they have so kindly made available to you.
And if you are not
Exhaustively complete
Painstakingly accurate
and Absolute
in your execution of the instructions
Well then, they do NOT guarantee that you will recover.
Dry yes. Recovered? Its not a sure thing as far as they are concerned.
So you pays your money and you makes your choice.
What's it to be?
Thorough, and therefore pretty much a sure thing?
Permanent sobriety and all the cool stuff in the promises?
Or not thorough, and possibly not Permanent sobriety and all the cool stuff in the promises?
The choice is yours.
Its VERY clear what the first 100 members think we should do.
Chapter 5. HOW IT WORKS
page 58
With ALL the earnestness at our command,
we BEG of you
to be fearless and THOROUGH
from the very start.
2 Painstakingly accurate or careful: thorough research.
3 Absolute; utter: a thorough pleasure.
So, it looks like the first 100 members are telling you
in NO uncertain terms
that in order for this programme to work
ie meaning 'you have recovered'
as opposed to being what they call 'dry' or 'like a boy whistling in the dark'
You need to be
Exhaustively complete
Painstakingly accurate
and Absolute
in your execution of the instructions they have so kindly made available to you.
And if you are not
Exhaustively complete
Painstakingly accurate
and Absolute
in your execution of the instructions
Well then, they do NOT guarantee that you will recover.
Dry yes. Recovered? Its not a sure thing as far as they are concerned.
So you pays your money and you makes your choice.
What's it to be?
Thorough, and therefore pretty much a sure thing?
Permanent sobriety and all the cool stuff in the promises?
Or not thorough, and possibly not Permanent sobriety and all the cool stuff in the promises?
The choice is yours.
Its VERY clear what the first 100 members think we should do.
Chapter 5. HOW IT WORKS
page 58
With ALL the earnestness at our command,
we BEG of you
to be fearless and THOROUGH
from the very start.
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