The meaning of Pride (manifesting as Judgment) as learned in Step 4 and 5

Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? by John Powell

I think this book explains what Sponsees (hopefully) come to understand as being 'Pride' - manifesting as 'Judgment' in step 5. This book really encapsulates the pointlessness of making ANYTHING 'good' or 'bad'.
It is essentially an essay on how reality is in fact NEUTRAL, yet we ascribe value to it either in the form or 'good' or 'bad'. This creates problems with the self, as we 'decide' some bits of us are 'good' and others 'bad', and EDIT our expression of yourself to EXCLUDE the parts we fear we will be JUDGED for...Not realizing that the very act of doing this *ucks us up and destroys any sense of authenticity and integrity. A loss or drop in honesty ALWAYS results in a diminishing and lowering of the personal state. Basically 'we are as sick as our secrets'. (By the way this does NOT mean that a 'free for all' approach to honesty is any good either!)
What's the solution? A COMMITMENT TO TELL THE UNFLATTERING EGO PUNCTURING TRUTH EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
Hahhaah
Yeah! Easy huh? (..erm.. no!)
Well its not as bad as it seems. Thank GOD AA prepares us for this by the 'induction' of step 4 and 5. The idea is, is that that teaches us the GOOD things that come to pass when we learn to made ego puncturing admissions a way of life.
Oh well.
Anyway I just found this book the other day, and realize that it contains a lot of the principles I learned by going to retreats and doing step 11 stuff. It espouses 'Neither repression nor indulgence' (as the monks use to say), but kind goes on a bit so you know exactly what that sentence means. Its a book about ACCEPTANCE of the MYRIAD of internal landscapes us human beings get to experience on a daily basis! So if you have not yet grasped that YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT COMES INTO YOUR HEAD BUT YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW YOU DEAL WITH IT, then this might be a good book for you to read. Its very short. I prefer thing to be expressed in more esoteric terms than therapeutic terms ,buts that's my personal preference. I find this book a little limiting, but a VERY good starting point for those who are ENSLAVED by a belief that they are 'bad, or what they think and feel are 'bad'.
No such thing my friend! Us humans ALL have weird s**t floating around in our brain space from time to time! Its no big deal! Trust me!
Right now I REALLY am off..

Step 5

I do step 5 the same way with Sponsees I did it with my sponsor. 2 hour sessions weekly (sometimes more frequently) until its done. Step 5 is very cool really. Very powerful. A cool old timer called it 'Spiritual surgery'. It is! You are literally 'cutting out' the putrefied 'stinking thinking' that has accumulated over the course of lifetime. If resentment had a physical appearance It would look like like a tumor. Black sticky tar, clinging to our internal energy centers. Whatever. I digress. But basically, step 5, if done well, is VERY cool. If done well, it is a SIGNIFICANT emotional plateau of safety (in comparison to what the person was like before) when finished.

Step 4 and 5 ( for me) are not about 'life stories' as such. I get 'briefed' on the ? overall history in Step 1, so I know most of the 'stuff' LONG before step 5. Step 5 is a place to look at resentments, not personal hstory. That's all.

Did you know step 4 and 5 messes with your head? Well it does. I always suggest that Sponsees just don't try to figure anything out till AFTER step 5. It'll feel better then.

If you are in the middle of step 5, I don't want to say something that increases any sense of uncertainty, as that tends to increase anyway during step 5, so just keep plugging away and soon it will be all over.
It's best to ignore what gremlin-ish ideas it comes up with till the step5 is well and truly DONE.
The uncertainty and discomfort will pass. don't you worry..

To Sponsors. Step 5. Chamomile and Vetiver in an oil burner

Its not necessary, but I like using these for step 1 and 5 appointments.
I think they are beneficial to both sponsee and sponsor

Roman Chamomile 3 drops
Vetiver 3 drops

Possibly
Organic Lavender Rare 3 drops
Vetiver 3 drops

You will need an oil burner with a DEEP basin
Buy one from Culpeppers in Covent Garden

Essential oils from Fragrant earth.

Some night lights

(If you want an explanation) Subtle Aromatherapy book by Patricia Davis.

Also I like burning Sai Baba Nag Champa incense before the appointment.
Buy large packs from Watkins centre in Cecil court. WC2.

Either that or Holy Cat incense, But its more expensive.

Ways to Fail at Sobriety

p58
Those who do not recover
are people who cannot or will not
COMPLETELY give themselves to THIS simple program

p70
If we are not sorry,
and our conduct continues to harm others,
WE ARE QUITE SURE TO DRINK.

p72
If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking.

p72
Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives.
Trying to avoid this humbling experience,
they have turned to easier methods.
Almost invariably THEY GOT DRUNK.
Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell.
We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning.
They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock.
They only THOUGHT they had lost their egoism and fear;
they only THOUGHT they had humbled themselves.
But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty,
in the sense we find it necessary,
until they told someone else ALL their life story.

p72
We MUST be ENTIRELY honest with somebody
if we expect to live long or happily in this world.

p73
Resentment is the "number one" offender.
It DESTROYS more alcoholics than anything else.
From it stem ALL forms of spiritual disease

p64
If we were to live, we HAD to be free of anger.
The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us.
They may be the dubious luxury of normal men,
but for alcoholics these things are poison.

p66
this business of resentment is infinitely grave.
We found that it is fatal.
For when harboring such feeling
we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit.
The insanity of alcohol returns
and we drink again.
And with us, to drink is to die.

p66
Faith without works is dead

Chapter 5. HOW IT WORKS page 64
Though our decision was vital and crucial step,
IT COULD HAVE LITTLE PERMANENT EFFECT
unless AT ONCE followed by

Step Five. Tell ALL, or Drink

P72
Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves
certain facts about their lives.
Trying to avoid this humbling experience,
they have turned to easier methods.

Almost invariably they got drunk.

Having persevered with the rest of the program,
they wondered why they fell.
We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning.
They took inventory all right,
but hung on to some of the worst items in stock.
They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear;
they only thought they had humbled themselves.
But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty,
in the sense we find it necessary,
until they told someone else ALL their life story.

p72
We must be entirely honest with somebody
if we expect to live long or happily in this world.

Step Five Promises

Chapter 6. INTO ACTION page 76
Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing,
we are delighted.
We can look the world in the eye.
We can be alone at perfect peace and ease.
Our fears fall from us.
We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator.
We may have had certain spiritual beliefs,
but now we begin to have a spiritual experience.
The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly.
We feel we are on the Broad Highway,
walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe.

After the Last 2hr Step 5 session. -Reflection

Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour,
carefully reviewing what we have done.
We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better.
Taking this book down from our shelf we turn to the page which contains the twelve steps.
Carefully reading the first five proposals
we ask if we have omitted anything,
for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last.
Is our work solid so far?
Are the stones properly in place?
Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation?
Have we tried to make mortar without sand?