The Secret is GREAT! An excuse for a mental spring clean!

I read about the Film called The Secret on Dharma's Blog , so I looked it up. Thank you Dharma!!
Anyway I will give you a DVD of this if I see you as its pretty cool. But if I don't see you you'll just have to get your own copy!
I've studied Metaphysics since I read The Sermon on the Mount by Emmet Fox years ! ago. I don't really make a huge effort to do it, but I have always thought it worked. Anyway , lets say I am doing a little revision of this subject.
I happen to think this film does a very good job of explaining the subject overall, and saves you having to read a TON of books from the Metaphysics section in Watkins.

Basically the principle is
You move towards. and become like, that which you think about. Whether it is good for you, Or bad for you.

So knowing that. Our 'job' is to
Decide what you want, and then focus on it.

The alternative is to get 'pulled' this way and that by very UNintentional thoughts!
So that's what I'm busy doing at the moment.
Revising in a VERY SPECIFIC WAY, what I want, so that I can bring it into my awareness more clearly, and also to help me notice where I am gravitating in my thoughts to what I do NOT want, with the aim of addressing those and countering them. A bit of a mental spring clean, so to speak.

Hey thanks everyone for all your kind comments and what have you. It was very sweet of you to drop by and say something nice. I hope y'all have been well and prospering!
My studies are done for a few months. Hopefully! Might be resits, I don't know, but I plan on getting other projects done while the study demands are less. Bit of catching up at the gym to do and what not. Back to the old routine. I feel like a bit of a 'spring clean' so to speak. Clear away a few cobwebs. I have actually got quite a lot of stuff to figure out at the moment! Some things have been neglected due to study, so I need to get those back on track! The task seems quite daunting! Losing weight gained, or reducing my fat percentage, resuming a pretty draconian diet! Getting back to my normal grooming regime. All that girlified stuff that us ladies need to do! Loads really. The good news is that I am feeling pretty motivated at the moment, so I plan on using that momentum to get where I want to get to.

I'm feeling very intolerant of negativity while I refocus on the positive stuff, so I want to avoid negative family members while I figure out this stuff. They are a bunch of energy vampires! I'm feeling very conscious of the fact I have some free time to put to good use, so I have good intentions to make the most of it.
Anyway I am going to get busy doing that, so I'm off! Have a great Wednesday!

Are you hoping that one day everything will be fine and you'll enjoy everything?

"You can enjoy everything, nothing is too small or large to enjoy.
You should learn to enjoy, in all aspects of your life.

Tell me one thing in the day you look forward to."

Reading Syd's post about the joy that comes from little things reminded me of something someone told me, who has an AMAZING capacity to enjoy life.
I don't know about you, but it really made me think.

The first thing that they said was the bit in the heading.
Then when they suggested actually thinking about what I look forward to in the day, I was really surprised at the answers that came into my head. I suppose they were little overlooked pleasures and moments of beauty that for some reason I just completely took for granted.
I still find it a fascinating way to direct my attention.

Another way of phhrasing it could be
Notice what you enjoy today.

For instance, when I ask myself this question am ! surprised at the answers.
For instance.
Being interested in the political evolution of the European union.
Learning new things.
Burying myself in piles of books in the British library.
Being showered with little pink blossom petals in a sunny afternoon on my way someplace.
Blossom on the trees.
Running with my ipod through crowded city streets.
My cat. Because she is so cute.
Black filter coffee from the Algerian coffee store.
The smell of the beans when I open the airtight container I put them in.
Vidal sassoon hair colour.
The earthy smell of foliage in warm summery evenings.
The great court and the reading room in the British museum.
Feeling mentally alert.
Tea and toast.
Radio 4.
Generosity of time and expertise from other aa's.
Aa's who do their best to encourage, inform and support me when I don't understand something.
Coffee after the meetings.
Being a non-verbal reassuring presence for weepy newcomers in meetings.
Helping newcomers. Feeling useful.
Seeing sponsees start sponsoring others.
Thinking of my mentors, and the people I love and admire.
Peaceful silence.
A Sponsee telling me they have been dancing till 5am.
Cobalt blue.
The moon.
Thinking about sea air.
Looking at a picture of the beach and thinking about what it feels like to be there.
Bright spring quality of light.
The pub with no beer.
Great quotes.
Getting comments on my blog from passing visitors.
Knowing aa's that live locallly to me.
That the centre of London feels like my 'front garden' or ''front porch'.

Well anyway, there are a lot of things on that list that I did not expect to see there. It surprises me what they are.
So anyway, what I'm saying is that it is fascinating journey to notice all the little pleasures that pass our way in the course of a 24 hours.
Its sort of like a gratitude list but different . The focus is not gratitude as such. Just
What do you enjoy?
Or
Name one thing in the day that you look forward to?

And then, working on the principle that " You can enjoy everything, nothing is too small or large to enjoy."
REALLY taking a second look at things and finding how that applies to all the things I do every day. When I do that, its TRUE. I CAN find joy in just about everything. Its WEIRD. Ah well. See for yourself.

Well I find it very interesting.
Right I'm off. Have a GREAT Monday!

SELF OBSESSED: Constant thought of SELF? Or constant thought of OTHERS?

I have yet to meet someone who is very preoccupied with themselves who is radiant or at peace. Or who 'has what I want', basically. I know how easy it is to confuse the (very necessary) self examination that is a VITAL component of the steps, with simply being preoccupied with oneself. Its a sophisticated and elegant balancing act to get it right. Anyway, that's why I've posted this.
The 'measuring stick' of how to get the right balance (with ALL things not just this issue) is the principle of 'Neither repression nor Indulgence"

See old post called Balanced Between Repression & Indulgence

Again, like most things in relation to alcoholism, the MOST powerful spiritual 'medicine' is helping others. As the big book quotes pretty much repeat below. If you want relief from ANY symptom, 'give it away to keep it'.
Anyway, here's the relevant big book quotes:

"OUR VERY LIVES, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our CONSTANT thought of others (as opposed to CONSTANT thought of OURSELVES!!!!) and how we may help meet their needs". **
P20

"If an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and SELF-SACRIFICE FOR OTHERS, ** he could NOT survive the CERTAIN trials and low spots ahead".
P14

"When ALL other measure failed, work with another alcoholic WOULD save the day. **
P15

"Practical experience shows that NOTHING will so much insure immunity from drinking as INTENSIVE (as opposed to half-hearted, habitual rhetoric) work with other alcoholics".**
P89

"A kindly act once in a while ISN'T ENOUGH. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be". **
P97

"Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now".**
P124

"the dark past is the greatest possession you have**-the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them."
Ps124

"The spiritual life is NOT a theory. We HAVE to LIVE it." **
P83

** means insert: (..As opposed to 'professional' feedback, attention, sympathy, 'friendly' advice, 'external validation', positive 'strokes', people telling us what we want to hear, people agreeing with us, people telling us we are right, compliments, ego massaging comments, expecting others to take care of us, simply showing up at meetings, fellowship alone, etc etc..)

If 'your way' doesn't appear to be working very well. Why not try doing what the first hundred members did instead?

You have two choices.
You can either practice 'Constant thought of YOURSELF."
OR
'Constant thought of OTHERS".
What's it to be?
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired Yet?
I'm afraid half measures REALLY do achieve ABSOLUTELY !!!! NOTHING. The first hundred members WERE NOT KIDDING when they wrote that. Funny enough.

The Just for Today Card

Just for today I will try to live through this day only & not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy. Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is & not try to adjust everything else to my desires. I will take my “luck” as it comes & fit myself into it.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study; I will learn something useful; I will not be a mental loafer; I will read something that requires effort, thought & concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn & not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count; I will do at least two things I don’t want to do–just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as good as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything & not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry & indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself & relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. I will enjoy that which is beautiful & will believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

The Just for today card is one of 'The Six Things' I was suggested to do every day, AS SOON AS I got to AA. I rate the 6 things very highly! But like most things in life, the more you put in the more you get out.
(The 6 things' are listed on the right hand side)

This is what it says about the just for today card in the '6 things' list...
5. TRY to do ONE of the things on the just for today card.
Think of it as a portable programme. Carry it with you throughout the day. If you become negative, try applying ANY one of the instructions on the card to your situation.

So basically it works on two levels. Firstly as a basic daily 'thing' to do. Can be anything! You can pick the 'easiest' thing to do off the list if you want to.

Secondly, it acts as a 'contingency plan' or 'plan B' when you feel bad during the day. Again its 'use' is that it provides a series of very simple ACTIONS that can be done. And 'action' is the key word, as it is the ACTION that 'saves' us. Not our thinking.
'Practicing these principles in all your affairs' can be as simple as doing stuff off this card when you get stuck. Its a very respectable list. Don't be fooled into thinking its 'junior aa' because it's on a little card.
If you manage to do the stuff on here throughout the course of the day, in MY opinion you are doing VERY well!

Summarize your most important current dilemma into a 20 second statement

Then the next time someone says "Hi so and so, how are you?" Tell them!!
Hahahaa
I find this really funny and a bit cheeky but I use this one ALL THE TIME. It's a FABULOUS trick. I strongly recommend you try it!!
I actually think this is a really FUN thing to do. I cant wait to hear how you get on with it...(If you want to tell me that is)

Heres an example
My most pressing current 'dilemma' for want of a better word is that I could be laid off in two weeks time, but because I am starting a degree in October, rather than looking for another similar job to the one I have now, I am going to TRY to get a job relating to my new study.

So if I meet ANYONE, and they say Hi, .... How are you? Ill tell them!!
I'll say something like
Good actually! But I expect to be laid off work in about two weeks and as I'm doing a part time degree in October, I'm TRYING to get a relevant alternative job, so if you know anyone that might need someone?, Let me know!!

See I can say that in 15 to 20seconds, and not sound like a whingeing energy vampire. But it's a REALLY COOL TRICK. Because it means that in 15 seconds they are aware of my most important 'problem to solve'. I need go into no further detail, and I can get on with the business of being of 'maximum helpfulness' in that situation.
I have found this to be an extremely valuable skill and it has opened up VAST resources of help, wisdom and expertise over the years.
Basically its a method of communicating where you need help (to as many people as possible) in a REALLY time efficient manner.
Always communicate the thing at 'the top of the pile' and work your way down. I focus on what is either the most important thing I need to solve, or when I have no pressing problems, anything that is making me feel uncomfortable that day.

I like to think that I can summarize ANYTHING in about 20 seconds. Even the most obscure existential query!!

You see, if you BROADCAST your current 'dilemma' to all and sundry you'll be amazed at what comes back. From the most unexpected places sometimes!
I am SO good at doing this quickly and informally, that I can do it in the queue in sainsburys or in shops with complete strangers. Its a VERY cool trick. In my opinion. I use it mainly in AA I suppose.

More examples...(not mine just to show you)
"Hi ..........., how are you?"
Pretty good actually! Got some self esteem issues on the horizon now that I'm dating a REALLY cool bloke. Getting in touch with my inferiority, if you know what I mean! Oh the joys of dating! Hahaaa
You?

"Hi ..........., how are you?"
Alright thanks, I'm trying to figure out how to use the gym to change my shape. Not easy I can tell you! Got a personal trainer but I've only just started using them and I'm not sure if they're any good.
You?

"Hi ..........., how are you?"
I feel like a whingeing arse today actually! Don't know why, but I've got a grumpy mood today. You know, 'nothings right' sort of thing? So if I start sounding like a grumpy old bag, you have permission to slap me!
You?

"Hi ..........., how are you?"
Alright thanks! Just having what I call 'an attack of the uglies'. I always force myself to get out when I'm feeling like this otherwise I'd be at home weeping uncontrollably under the duvet! Hahahaha Thank god for plastic surgeons eh? One of my yets....Haha
You?

"Hi ..........., how are you?"
Alright thanks! I've been doing a lot of mediation lately and its shaken my faith in what AA has to offer. I've yet to dovetail all my 'new' teachings into the old framework of AA, so for now AA seems like Kack! Apart from that, everything's fine! Hahaa
You?

"Hi ..........., how are you?"
I feel great, but I'm REALLY tired. Either I'm angry with something and I just haven't noticed, or I need to eat a pile of shredded carrot! Hahaha.That's my food trick for getting more energy you see.(as they look bewildered).
You?

Etc etc

NEVER accept what your head tells you on face value

Hahaa no pun intended!
Because it may be utter KAK!

Generally I would say don't take ANYTHING on face value, as I think that's just being gullible and foolish.

But in particular, with alcoholics, who have very often very distorted and negative views of the world, I always say
DO NOT JUST LISTEN TO WHAT IT TELLS YOU PASSIVELY!!

Be actively engaged in the process of thought
Talk back to it if needs be. Out loud if you like. (Not recommended when you are in sainsburys!)

Frinstance
Next time your head tells you what a useless, fat, lazy good for nothing you are..
Why not say something like
Thank you for sharing, its always nice to hear another point of view, but I have to admit that I really don't agree with what you're saying. Now EFF OFF!!

Hahahaa
Or whatever you like really.

Basically don't just sit there 'listening' to the 'washing machine' type rambling your head comes out with

Or. Plan B
Do something from the just for today card.
Or one of the 6 things

Basically either challenge it or roadblock it by engaging in another mental activity.
The choice is yours

For Stubborn Beliefs..

Imagine the opposite is true for five minutes.
REALLY true.
Difficult isn't it?
It's amazing how 'right' we think we are, isn't it?

If suspending your belief for five minutes is too hard
try it for one minute
or thirty seconds

This is an AMAZING insight into the STUBBORN-NESS of our beliefs!
Anything highly infexible is DEEPLY SUSPECT in my opinion.

Reassure yourself that you will return to your 'old idea; after 5mins so its 'ok'.
(It's just a trick to fool your brain)

Then try it for another five.

You (in the course if time) be AMAZED at how WRONG you have been about many things.

Often those 'opposites' turn out to be true after all!
Who'd have thought eh?

Another way of countering negative beliefs is to 'act as if'
That's the same sort of thing, and works just as well

Inferior? Try Daily 'Acknowledgements'

It consists of writing down at least 6 things a day
of stuff you have done in the last 24 hours that you have done.
Basically you are acknowleging the efforts and attempts to have made,
regardless of the outcome. Its not about 'success' its about trying.
Meaning..
“While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, another is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.”
Henry C. Link quote

So it might go like this:
Today I acknowledge that I spent an hour on the phone to my old dad helping him find a new washing machine.
Today I acknowledge that I am going to the gym
Today I acknowledge that I tried to explain how I deal with my recurring tendencies toward inferiority in sobriety using the steps and the maintenance tools after completing the first 9.
Today I acknowledge that I spoke to my sponsees this morning.
Today I acknowledge that my intention is to eat only raw fruit and veg today

Etc etc
Just thought that example might prove useful.
Obviously the programme comes first, but I have been very pleased with the affect that this method has in restoring my faith in myself and my abilities. And as a result, I recommend this method to people with this tendency, but only after they have completed step 1 to 9. But that's only because I want them to see how powerful the steps are by themselves. (the way I was shown how to do them anyway).

The Six Things

The Six Things. To do every day.
1. Check in with a sponsor (ideally,) or another long time sober person. Or a very cool ‘Spiritual Friend’.

2. Phone a newcomer. Give it away to keep it.
THIS IS YOUR MOST POWERFUL DEFENCE AGAINST DRINKING.

3. Hit your knees. Ask YOUR concept of ‘a power greater than yourself’ (It can be the power of AA as a whole, or the power that makes the earth turn) for a sober day, and say thanks at night. It HAS to be a LOVING concept of a HP. (see Trad 2.) If it is even a little bit judgmental, it’s no good. Ask for help with whatever roadblocks you are experiencing at present,

4. Gratitude list. Work against your natural tendency to take things for granted. Is the glass half empty or half full? Write down 6 things that make you laugh, smile or feel glad to be alive.

5. TRY to do one of the things on the just for today card. Think of it as a portable programme. Carry it with you throughout the day. If you become negative, try applying any one of the instructions on the card to your situation.

6. Read a page of the big book or Go to a meeting. Look out for newcomers and long time sober members. Try to be of service in some form or other while at the meeting. If you want to share, sit at the front, and share first. Start with saying I enjoyed your share and I identified with you.

Heres another description of 'The 6 things' I wrote beforehand.
1. Check in with a sponsor (ideally) or another person whos been sober a while

2. Phone a newcomer.
Baby talk.
Give it away to keep it.
Your job is to be of maximum helpfullness. p102

3. Gratitude list.
Work against your natural tendency to take things for granted.
Is the glass half empty or half full?

4. Hit knees morning and night.
(It has to be a loving concept of a HP. If it is even a little bit judgemental, it’s no good.)
Ask for a sober day & say thanks at night.
Ask for help with whatever roadblocks you are experiencing at present,
and ask to be guided to the things you will need to make a good recovery.
The best sponsor for you. The best meetings for you. The best way of doing the steps for you. The best allies.

5. Try to do one of the things on the just for today card.
Carry it with you throughout the day,
if you become negative, go straight to any one of the instructions on the card.

6. Read a page of the big book
or
Go to a meeting
Look out for newcomers and long time sober members.
Try to be of service in some form or other while at the meeting
If you want to share, sit at the front, and share first. Start with saying I enjoyed your share and I identified with you

You are either living in the problem or living in the solution. You can’t do both at the same time.
Do not be discouraged. Progress not perfection. p60

Try this 'Gratitude List' method

Every day, write down 6 things:

- that make you smile
- that make you laugh
- or that make you glad to be alive