I have (former) Sponsees who have had VERY painful interpretations of their past, and 'heavy' baggage to process. Plus some very REAL 'challenges' in recovery!! (Not abuse issues, they belong to the 'drinking years!'}
'Painful' issues as regard to the distant drinking past can include, broken hearts, violence, physical and sexual abuse. Parental cruelty and neglect.
Current challenges can include career and scary financial issues. Serious illness, dealing with former abusive partners in separation wrangles. Anything really!
You name it! But they do NOT find themselves thinking of drinking. Even the ones with previously HEAVY drinking patterns.
I see 'pain' and the desire to drink as TWO SEPERATE THINGS.
One says a lot about the things you learned in step 4 and how you take inventory on a daily basis.
The other says a lot about now much you are helping newcomers. And weather you have REALLY learned how to help them.
I have often said to Sponsees who are CONVINCED their CIRCUMSTANCES mean they have no choice but to 'suffer', and mentally deteriorate..
"Some of us have taken VERY hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job, wife or no wife, we simply do NOT stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people (places and things) ahead of dependence on God" p98
"If an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could NOT survive the CERTAIN trials and low spots ahead." p14
"Practical experience shows that NOTHING will so much insure immunity from drinking as INTENSIVE work with other alcoholics." p89
"We CANNOT subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us." p113
"It is a design for living that WORKS in ROUGH going." p15
"We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an ALCOHOLIC MIND; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything!" p101
About Me
- An Irish Friend of Bill
- I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.
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5 comments:
Missed your posts. Got a lot of reading to do. See you later.
HAHAHAHA I love your last line about the Eskimo!!
Pain doesn't give me the desire to drink, but happiness, celebrations, sunny days, storms, Holidays, not going to meetings.....all are slippery moments for me, and I am looking at 19 years, 8 months of sobriety! You are never, ever cured. Just don't drink today, one day at a time.
I like your blog, I'll come visit when I have time to read more!
I have learned that it is not my circumstances, but my attitude towards my circumstances that affects my perceived "need to use". So long as I remain willing to see things differently, no circumstance can spur me to drink or use.
Good post!
Peace,
Dharmashanti
P.S. My blog has moved to http://dharmashanti.blogspot.com
This is a good reminder to me. I've been watching one of mine go through a difficult time with a new relationship triggering old feelings. The best thing I can do is direct her toward the steps. That is my job as a sponsor.
Thanks for this post....it's just something I needed to read today.
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