Untreated Alcoholism: 'Stinking thinking". The STEPS are the answer. NOT Self Knowledge, or Will Power.

Inside All Saints Margaret Street Church London, originally uploaded by Irish friend of Bill.

"Stinking Thinking leads to Drinking"

This is for those of you who are new, and have not yet got a Sponsor, and started working through the Steps, as laid out in the Basic Text of AA. (The Big Book)
I remember I had to hear AA members repeat this SO !! MANY TIMES before I really HEARD it. That's why I'm spelling it out here. !

Lets say you have reached a point after starting coming to meetings where you are just beginning to see that instead of being a 'nice person'. Or a 'victim of circumstance', that actually, you have a little more 'stinking thinking' than you first realized. (!!!)
That actually you are a bit ! selfish.
That actually you have about as much gratitude as a gnats chuff.
That actually people annoy you quite a LOT.
That the general conversation, 'washing machine' thoughts that rumble around in your head, ARENT ACTUALLY THAT !!!! POSITIVE.

Well at this point it is tempting to think, that what AA offers is something 'educational' or 'self aware'. A bit like therapy perhaps. This is not so. Not entirely anyway. Self knowledge plays a PART, but not a very BIG part. The 'meat and potatoes' is in the STEPS. Well that's what I've found anyway.
Right. So regarding those negativities or mental 'defects' that you have started to spot..
"Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power."
p62

"We found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn´t there. Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly."
p45

"the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly any exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience."
p39

And regarding any thoughts about drinking you may be experiencing..
"Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense MUST come from a Higher Power."
p43

"No human power could have relieved our alcoholism." (Doesn't say, "except for Mary, Joan, or Bridget')
p60

So if the problem isn't ''selfishness' (or any other 'stinking thinking" ) as such. What IS the problem?
"Lack of power, that was our dilemma. we had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power?
Well, that´s exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem."
p45

So how exactly am I supposed to " find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem."?
"Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery"
p59
"Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps"
p60

So. There's your answer.
The STEPS will restore you to sanity.
Which will enable you to have a mental defence against alcohol. See page 84.

(After step 9) regarding alcohol:
"We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. WE react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid."
p84

And will provide you with the 'needed power" to do many things which until now have been beyond reach. Such as to act in keeping with the " moral and philosophical convictions galore" which you have, but are unable to live up to. Eg selfishness etc.

But to do the steps, you will need a sponsor. The more contented the better, the more peace of mind the better. Find the best available woman in your neighborhood and ask her to take you through the first nine steps. After that its just maintenance.
But most importantly,
"the (drink) problem has been removed. It does not exist for us."
p84

Which is why we all showed up in AA in the first place, lets face it!

So happy hunting! And I hope you find a good un!