I saw this posed on another blog and thought it was an interesting question. Anyway, here's what I make of it.
"Do you think honesty comes in degrees? Or is it all or nothing? "
Neither. Those two alternatives are too limiting.
Holding back keeps you in a retrogressive (and very repetitive) groove, regardless of how often you are honest with the less ego puncturing things.
Secondly, its the effort and the intention that betrays the caliber of ones honesty, not the result.
Going to ANY lengths? Well that's gold plated, lustrous and beautiful.
Half measures? Looks as unattractive as it feels.
There is no need to reconfigure the 'terms and conditions' of the AA programme to fulfill a personal definition. Every word in there tells you EXACTLY what you need to know. You need no further definitions.
I am certain, that you KNOW, without a ! moments hesitation, whether you are going to 'any lengths' to tell the ego puncturing truth. Or not.
See? There's your answer.
I have a TON of half finished posts ! Too do because I am in the midst of preparing for a VERY busy academic year. I am VERY!!!! Excited!
Hopefully I will find the time to post them while I go on an shopping spree, and what have you. (Any excuse!)
I WISH I could tell you how many COOL things have 'rearranged' themselves to make my life workable. I have a pretty busy schedule at the best of times, but I need to get quite ! creative when I put some MORE stuff on my plate.
Suffice to say. God is !!! good! Hahaa.
Anyway. That's another post really..
Right. Gotta go.
Bear with me on the comment moderation. There is a 'Restless irritable and discontent' commenter doing the rounds. Again! No change there then!
Right the gym beckons. As does the desperately alluring Apple store..
Have a great Tueday y'all!
(Yeah and three cheers for Johno on getting in to the new course)
Kudos! See? It works!
About Me
- An Irish Friend of Bill
- I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
"Do you think honesty comes in degrees? Or is it all or nothing?"
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9 comments:
sometimes there is a grey area, right!!! and enjoy what you're doing today.
Telling the ego-puncturing truth isn't always easy for sure. I think about total honesty in my amends to my SO and I balk. It may take a while but I'll get there. I want to do no harm and have to tread lightly.
Living in absolutes is not good. It can set one up for failure, the either or thing. I suppose it can be helpful at times depending on the situation.
Darn spammers. I had someone hack into my Wordpress account and change my labels. Made me very upset, how invasive.
I Love You!! thank you for the encouragement, and good luck with the next semester! I'll be watching out (in between everything else!) your progress :) God IS Amazing isnt He?
I thought about honesty a lot lately. I hadnt told my mom about my going to AA until last night...mainly because I was afraid of what she was going to say. I havent told my dad yet, but knowing my mom, she has told him by now.
I kept telling myself - well she never asks me directly where I am spending my evenings, even though I am increasingly not available when she calls me tonight. So last night, when she asked me where I was driving to...I had to think for a moment. Do I tell her the truth, or do I make something up. I mean if I really want to work on myself and feel better about everything, choosing when to be honest and when not to be, solely based on convenience,....its just not going to work. So I told her - for th emost part it was positive, but she had to get some hurtful comments in there, only like she can. I dont think she can help herself!
Thanks for your thoughts and have a great day!
Kindly,
kathrin
Hmm. well the exclusion criteria, is 'except when to do so would injure them or others'. 'others' includes ourselves.
This example of what you call being 'honest', AA calls 'breaking anonymity', and is really a tradition 12 issue.
Because parents and family members can so easily get distressed at the knowledge of their children going to AA, I advise AGAINST breaking ones anonymity (for the first year or so at least) , unless there is strong evidence to suggest they wll have a positive reaction.
As this is on a case by case basis, (like a lot of feedback on things in AA), it is best to consult a sponsor, or failing that, another long time sober person, or shorter time BUT VERY COMFORTABLE person, BEFORE one acts.
as they say, "When in doubt, don't'.
Yeah I must do some posts on anonymity. Keep meaning to..
One of the things I have had to face is that while I always touted myself as an honest person, I clearly wasn't. Especially with myself. Now I can strive for total honesty but in reality, like when it may hurt someone, the best is to consider each situation. I think it comes down to motives. As long as your motives are pure. As you said, the effort and the intention.
Sounds like you are enjoying the busyness of academia. Good for you.
hey! i've posted a quote on my blog especially for you!!!
What honesty consists in depends on how one defines truth.
Good post.
/end philosophy grad Mode
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