About Me

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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Forget Everything And Remember: Self Centred Fear and Fear of financial insecurity

Good old Ian Brown. This is F. E. A. R. (Uncle remix)

Fear is understandable.
So don't be hard on yourself
Accept this inner chaos for starters

Then. Here's the thing.
TRUST that even though this LOOKS scary.

Your higher power is ONLY ever interested in giving you WHAT IS THE VERY!!!! BEST FOR YOU.

If your higher power says NO to THIS thing.
It is because there is something FAR BETTER in store for you.
And in order to GET THAT, you have to LET GO of this thing.

And let those feelings just rumble along in the background, doing their own thing.
Have them. But do not BELIEVE them.

Also, like I said in a previous post about thing balancing themselves out, the universe ALWAYS seems to 'balances out' those that are 'channels', meaning those that have had a spiritual awakening as a result of the steps, sort of thing.
So if your mind is very much 'stuck' to ONE side on some matter. The universe will PRESENT a situation to force this 'stuck' position to 'unstick' itself, and become more encompassing of other world views.

The universe does NOT tolerate ONE SIDED, 'fixed positions' or deluded longing and attachment to worldly things. (in those whose 'channels' are 'open')

Owning things is FINE. its BELIEVING in them as your mental and emotional 'savior' that is the 'problem'. Or attaching GREAT SIGNIFICANCE to them. Nothing wrong with LIKING them, or choosing to ENJOY them in the moment. Its CREATING YOUR ENTIRE IDENTITY FROM THEM that makes things a bit sticky later!
So the universe will create situations to re educate !!! you in this matter if it sees one of its students leaning too far one way.

So be warned!!!
If you are SINCERE in your wish for INNER PEACE and a desire to help others, life lessons will come THICK AND FAST.
The better the student, the more 'assignments' you get!!!
So if you have a dozen 'existential' essays to complete, then trust me! Your higher power rates you as a TOP student!!
You don't get to languish in the back of the class staring out the window and texting your mates!
So pay attention!

Regarding money and objects. I LOVE edges comment in an interview where he said:

"Possessions are a way of turning money into problems."
"I don't have anything that I'd miss if it got stolen."

Sunday Times. November 2004

Hey and if you are scared, do the Taoist arch as well.
And earn some good karma points by trying to be of as much benefit to the person MOST in need (usually the newcomer) as you can. They stand to lose the MOST if they fail, so their weaknesses are the MOST in need of correcting. Lives !are at stake, so EVERY bit of help counts! You just NEVER KNOW if YOU will be the person who 'gets through' to them, so give it a whirl and see what happens. If it is good it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS and, if it is bad it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
Just show up. You paddle and god steers.


Anonymous said...

Those scary feelings that "just rumble along in the background, doing their own thing." underly my being most of the time. I wonder if they will ever dissipate? It is a lot better realising I don't have to run my life on them. Going into a scary situation tomorrow so THanks for the post.

johno said...

Amen! sounds like you're back in the here and now again.

"Possessions are a way of turning money into problems."
"I don't have anything that I'd miss if it got stolen."

That doesnt mean though, have nothing and accept earning very little in a martyr like... just means get on in there do your best, grow whatever skills you have been blessed with as the world will benefit when you do...
whatever "you receive" is really not top priority, when you have your head down doing the right things.

Money etc are not the drivers

Altered Attitudes and
Love and service is

Have a godd weekend!

Shadow said...

i realised exactly what you are saying here earlier this week....

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

Great Ms Shadow. I think you have good intuition and thats why you figure these things out for yourself. you are very lucky! i don't remember having much when i was a year or so, but its all a faint memory now so not so sure really..

Kathy Lynne said...

I was able to ask a sick and frightened friend if she trusted God. I never would have been able to do this before. When I am afraid or nervous about doing something yet I know inside I need or must do it, I just imagine myself with blinders on and put one foot in front of the other. Once I'm on the other side it is usually not so bad because like you said..EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. I love when that feeling washes over me no matter what is happening.

ps: Thanks again for helping me update my blog.........

molly said...

thanks for the post.. i needed to "hear" all of it.. i particularly honed in on - "if you have a dozen 'existential' essays to complete, then trust me! Your higher power rates you as a TOP student!!" Being the alkie I AM, though, I want to finish all the essays YESTERDAY. oh well... i keep hearing my HP say to STOP TRYING TO HARD. I guess I fear if I stop trying (to control!) then the bottom will fall out ??

Anyhoo - thanks for sharing this. it helps.

Syd said...

I always thought that if I had to go back to living like a graduate student I could it do again. Before Al-Anon, I wanted more things. Now I just want the things that money can't buy. And I'm getting them through the program.

Anonymous said...

Yeah..... good old Ian Brown. I loved Stone Roses. Face Everything And Recover.