About Me

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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Thursday, March 07, 2013

We can be a great blessing to others in times of real crisis

Reading Syd's blog posts about bereavement made me think about how draining it is processing grief. In my case what was probably more draining than the caretaking prior to death and the grieving, was dealing with disturbed and obstructive family members who basically lost the plot because they were not living along spiritual lines.

Testing times like a critically ill family member or the death process itself really shows in stark relief who has a spiritual program and who doesn't. The members of my family that were heavily invested in worldly affairs and had no real spiritual life to speak of really lost it big time. When I say they didn't have spiritual life, they did have what looked like a religious interest, but to my way of thinking they had no real spiritual life. They weren't terribly nice people to begin with and the whole death process really brought out the worst in them. And I think that was by far the most draining issue.

Also the aftermath such as organising the funeral, all the social awkwardness that goes along with everybody else's very negative perception of the death process really takes its toll. There seem to be very few people who are able to process the whole bereavement thing gracefully or skilfully, and instead thrash around in self-centred misery and don't think very much about what they can do for others  as a way of getting out of themselves and relieving their emotional burden. Basically like most crises and difficult situations it really brings forth who has a spiritual program  that works and who doesn't.

I think the 12-step program is an excellent induction into dealing with crises. I think people who have done the 12-step program really shine in difficult situations if they are using their programme well. I think we are very lucky. We can be a great blessing to others in times of real crisis ..in my opinion. That's what I find anyway.  I hope you're having a nice Thursday :)


Grace-WorkinProgress said...

I think that if you have done the steps you just might be more caught up with the grief from the past. So you aren't grieving everything you ever lost before that moment.

For me grief feels like a well worn bathrobe. You can't stay in it forever but you would like to try. Secluded in the emotional process for as long as it takes. No way to rush it.

Syd said...

Thank you for this post. I have found out who walks the walk. And it has been only a few people in either AA or Al-Anon. Quite sad really to realize that self-centered fear is still robbing people of the ability to reach out and truly be of service. I am more mindful than ever of this.

Anonymous said...

Excellent post. I had the exact same experiences when my mother died. Absolutely everything was left to me. which, to be honest I didn't mind. My family are seriously sick people and I thank God every single day that I am sober. I have enjoyed your posts and think that you carry a great message of recovery. Yours in fellowship John C.


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