What's the CRITICAL weakness that makes people relapse?
Selective amnesia concerning "the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago", which occurs at TOTALLY random, uncontrolled time periods.
This is what it means to have NO MENTAL DEFENSE against the first drink.
A momentary (amnesia induced) lapse in recall, leads us to believe we can put our hand on the (metaphorical) hot stove.
"We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness WITH SUFFICIENT FORCE the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are WITHOUT DEFENSE against the first drink.
The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are HAZY and READILY SUPPLANTED with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a COMPLETE FAILURE of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove."
p24 Big Book
About Me
- An Irish Friend of Bill
- I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.
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A slip for me takes me back to being an emotional wreck. Instead of drinking, I lapse into despondency and anxiety. If I were a drinking man, then I'd be a hell of a drunk. What triggers my slips is fear. I fear loss of love and approval. Then that rolls into self-pity and I'm going down the slippery slope again. Thanks for making me think about what a bad place that can be.
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