About Me

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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Just Pedal

At first I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there sort of like a president. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I really didn't know Him.

But later on, when I met God, it seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that God was in the back, helping me pedal. I don't know when it was that He suggested that we change places, but life has not been the same since. When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable... It was the shortest distance between two points.

But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said, "Pedal." I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are you taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to learn to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure. And when I'd say, "I'm scared," He'd lean back and touch my hand. He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance and joy. They gave me gifts to take on my journey...and we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away; they're extra baggage, too much weight."

So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light. I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it; but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, knows how to jump to clear high rocks, knows how to fly to shorten scary passages. And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with God as my delightful constant companion. And when I'm sure I just can't do anymore, He just smiles and says, "Pedal."

Shamelessly borrowed from Daaves blog.
Daave finds some FABULOUS stuff, I'll give you that.
I REALLY like this passage. I'm making it one of my 'favorites'. Its very VERY good.
I don't know about you but this is the closest description I have found of my relationship with my higher power. I would not describe it as 'cozy', because it asks me to step out of my comfort zone and old ideas. Spiritual growth really does feel like this. And the presence of love feels absolutely like this.
For those of you who have yet to experience a SANE, SUPPORTIVE relationship with another human being, this is a good example of what love feels like. It CHALLENGES us but at the same time, IS A COMFORT. But not necessarily in the way we expect it to be! The other may not agree with us, they may not sit back while we make excuses for not trying. They very often disagree, BUT IN A LOVING LIGHTHEARTED WAY.
Bad news for all the self-centered people out there who thought being loved meant they 'got their own way' all the time. Far from it! Real love is VERY CHALLENGING. There are no days off! And bullshitting doesn't work either!
This passage is a total blessing. It explains so much.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yes I read this before 'letter from your disease' thankfully! It is beautifully put. I especially liked 'he took me to people with gifts I needed, then said give the gifts away'. Lovely.