About Me

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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Bad reasons to be in a relationship

Because you're frightened of being alone
Because you think no one else will love you. Or be as nice to you. (even though you don't really like them that much)
Because you're lonely
Because its a habit. You are just always in a relationship
Because its better than nothing. Apathy. You don't really like it, but you've pretty much given up on relationships, so this one will do..
Because you think you will never love another person
Because of financial stability
Because you think you can fix them
Because you are holding out that they will change and come round to your way of thinking
Because this time it will be different. Deluded optimism!
Because you are dependent on them. Financially, emotionally
Because it is a comfortable rut
Because you cant imagine anything better than what you have.(meaning you are jaded and resigned to what you have become accustomed to)
Because you are afraid they will kill themselves if you leave!
Because you are afraid they will kill you if you leave (!)
Because 'what's the point'. Meaning you see no better future. You are relentlessly pessimistic!
Because you fancy their best friend. Hahaa.
Because you like them, but you don't love them.
Because you're sexually frustrated and past caring who with.
Because you had sex with them for no particular reason, and ended up feeling like you ought to be going out with them.
Because you have great sexual chemistry, but the rest is rubbish. Ie.he is abusive or drinking/drugging himself to death. Or just a bit crap or lame.

Generally if you are 'hiding' relationships are bad. In my opinion. They should be quite challenging. In a good way. Not a crap (Ive wee'd the bed again/ shagged your mate again) kind of way. I suppose all relationships are challenging. Even the rubbish ones. You can learn from any experience really, so you can chalk it all up to experience I suppose. Oh well. I have found that people end up doing what they want to do. Anyway it truly is none of my business what choices you make. I have to learn how to let people learn from their own mistakes. Its a personal failing of mine. Besides, I believe our futures are mapped out anyway, so it makes no difference what I say.
Ill have to do a post on some dating books. Its a big industry, the books on how to date. I've read loads, and I think you should too, if you haven't done so already. Unfortunately they wont save you if it is your destiny to take a fall. But it all helps. One thing that has been useful for me has been having readings done. I ignore them anyway! And let the problem play itself out, but looking back, the readings I had were accurate. By readings I mean tarot readings by people who did it full time. Ah, if only we could see things with the benefit of hindsight BEFORE we do them. Oh well. That's life for you...

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