In order to do this you will need to buy the book: I Ching or Book of Changes by C.G. Jung, Richard Wilhelm, and Cary F. Baynes. About 10 quid on amazon.
Its always handy to learn how to consult some sort of oracle. The I ching is a steady, very neutral choice. Not entirely easy, but simple in many ways.
One of the reasons I managed to stay away from really crummy guys I was attracted to BEFORE I got to AA, was because I always ran it past the I ching. The answer was always a resounding no! And in hindsight I think it very often showed me my upcoming rock bottom. Even though that's not realy what I was asking about most of the time.
Anyway. I'm just mentioning this as a way to make sense of what's best for us when we are attracted to someone in recovery. Its a useful frame of reference in addition to our conscience and the feedback we get from others. Its a third party endorsement, so to speak. An impartial advisor.
Mind you, just because it doesn't say 'run for the hills' doesn't mean the guy is right for you. Just because they are not serial killers, isnt good enough! It helps if they are not in an imminent path to destruction via drink or drugs, but hopefully we will be looking for somewhat more to life than that in a future partner. A wonderful and satisfying partnership would be nice! A safe place to confront our fears of holding back. Whatever. Something slightly better than someone who is not a complete arse or heading toward an early grave, or mental institution.
If you don't feel comfortable with this then fine, don't do it.
I might add that when I used the I ching before coming to aa, I was VERY respectful of the process and did exactly what the instructions suggested. I went to a lot of trouble to store them correctly, and use as instructed.
This is probably because I had been using other divinatory methods such as palmistry and playing cards etc etc since the age of 12. But the I ching is a sort od 'official' divining tool. Quite respectable, and long in the tooth. Also very 'neutral' for want of a better word. I know a former nun that used the I ching, so I feel it is ok to mention it here. I see it as 'not allied with any sect' or something. Who knows. Im not sure how to explain it.
With all these things, I recommend that you use them carefully and respectfully.
About Me
- An Irish Friend of Bill
- I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.
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