About Me

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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Relationships MAGNIFY and confront you with your NEUROSES

Relationships can be INCREDIBLY powerful teachers if used wisely. They seem to magnify the weak !! areas.
Either you become increasingly neurotic and nosedive, or you bite the bullet and go to ANY LENGTHS to do the 'next right thing'.
I think they are very cool. I think it's great that you get the opportunity in relationships to see these neurotic tendencies so clearly in the way you relate to the 'other'.
It's not pretty seeing this stuff, but the alternative is just to keep blindly stumbling around on auto pilot.

Some neuroses that relationships can 'trigger' are:
I'm not good enough.
I don't deserve this (meaning its TOO good).
Insecurity. If I trust this good thing, the rug will be pulled from under me.
You 'see' harmful actions where none exist.
Basically the list is endless. I will have to think up a more exhaustive list in another post.

I know I can desire assurances of some sort, despite that I would never consider asking for one. But generally, I expect very little. My difficulty can be coming to terms with being offered 'more'. That can be very difficult for me.

Anyway. Have a great Sunday!


ArahMan7 said...

Happy Monday to you, my Irish friend of Bill.

Grace said...

Hmm, I can trigger those neuroses without a relationship!!

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

Heheh. Yep they can indeedy Grace!
but they sort of resemble an oncoming juggernaught in the context of relationship. Basically the emotional 'stakes' are RAISED when romantic interest comes into the equation. or something!
hope you are having a good monday!