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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

'Holding it together' means you are afraid of falling apart.

Which is not cool.
'Wellness' is much more fearless than that. Much more chilled out.
Fearless isn't a good word for me because my interpretation of that is that there is some degree of intensity in it. And intensity itself is pretty dodgy.
So when I say fearless, I mean easy going, non plussed, un fazed, not bothered, mild mannered, easy like Sunday morning, whatever, 'I don't see a problem with this' sort of thing.
we are NOT talking about Attila the Hun type of fearless here!

Freedom from fear is very cool and should not feel intense, in my opinion.
But do your lousy best. If the best you can do is to be fearless in a slightly 'acting as if' intense way, then fair enough. That will do for now.
But in the long term, we are aiming for a much less 'tense' internal environment. Being chilled out basically.

'Holding it together' displays some tension, which betrays your real fears underlying that bravado.
Trust me. the fear of falling apart or of annihilation are all pretty much bullshit. after step 9 anyway. IF you are keeping in good spiritual condition.

Like all suggestions, please use common sense with this.
Meaning if you have just moved to the other side of the world, started a new and very demanding job, split up with your husband, and haven't slept in 4 weeks, then do not choose THAT time to fearlessly look at what you think will make you fall apart.
Its always best to do work on ourselves when we are in good shape. not when we are run ragged! At those times we need to do much more simple stuff like catch up on sleep, and phone a newcomer.

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